Friday, January 28, 2011

Female Life (Part 2)

When I did this feature last week, the response was so positive that I decided to do it regularly.  So, once a week I'm going to throw a question out to you guys and invite you to share your thoughts.  The best part, of course, are your responses, so be sure to check out the comments of other readers.

Here's our new question:

In what ways are you like your mother,
and do you feel good or bad about that?


  1. My mom and I are actually very different. I would say that we both hold what we are feeling inside until it can't stay in anymore. I wish that I wasn't like that, but not because my mom is but because it's harder to communicate with people when I hold everything that's bothering me in.

    Interestingly, I get told I look like my dad (or his sister, actually) all the time but there is an old photograph of my mom in the 70s at my Grandma's house where I actually thought it was me at first. My mom's sister is the only person who has ever told me I look like my mom.

  2. oh boy I am commenter #1 today (I am up early supposed to be working on a contribution agreement.for work. URGH boring!!

    I love my mom. We are like best friends. we laugh alot and goof around. She was always my biggest supporter and I could go to her and talk openly to her about anything!! I hope I am like my mom that way, at least I sure strive to. As for the fun part.. I hope I am like that too...

    As for the other side.. My mom is NICE. and I think thats the part of her I am like that I dont always like.. meaning sometimes I let people walk over me and I dont say anything or stand up for myself, then I am annoyed but really I am mad at myself. Thats exactly why I am having challenges with one of my staff at work right now.. I have stepped over saying things to her over and over again and now its gotten out of hand and I have to put my foot down. I always want people to like me, thats my default and sometimes that comes with a cost.

    One of my mentors once told me: Its better to be respected that to be liked. People might like you, but it doesn't mean they respect you.
    that always stuck with me.

    okay. back to work for me!! have a super day Ralphy-poo!! xxox J

  3. The older I get, the more I notice the subleties that link my mother and I together. We are both 'granola' (my Mum's phrase) in that we lead a vegetarian lifestyle, we adore the arts, we are animal lovers and altrusitic. We can also both be outspoken, loud and (some might say) annoying at times. We don't stop until we get what we want and we are very impulsive. The fact that my career dreams and life goals change at the drop of a hat...that would be thanks to my Mum! She's my role model and my best friend and I can't imagine her not being in my life-she lives in England so I only see her once a year
    :( Great post- very thought-provoking!

  4. I am a lot like my Mum - organized, clean, fashion inclined, love old movies and their music (Indian), etc. And I am proud of it. When I am at my Mother's current age and am half a woman as her I would be very content :)

  5. I am frighteningly like my mother. We laugh at all the same things. We love the same TV shows. She's highly supportive of her family at all times. I learned that from her. :) She's funny and goofy and a great, big, huge dork, but she knows when to be serious. She is extremely organized. She has a great work ethic but knows how to have fun. She loves to shop. (Duh!)

    There is a reason that my mom and I are best friends. :)

  6. My mom and I are both pretty "serious" people. I don't quite know how to explain it, but I think we both have a tendency to intimidate others that don't know us well, for some reason. We both get wrapped up in things that piss us off quite easily, almost to the point where it consumes us. BUT we also don't take no shizz from anyone. Usually.

    And, for the record, we aren't alike in many ways too! I'm less emotional than she is. I'm also more outgoing, although that wasn't always the case!

    I feel okay about being like my momma. I'd rather be more like her than more like my dad. I'd always be running late if that were the case.

    P.S. I forgot, I was going to reply to one of your comments but it slipped my mind! I was going to say, if you're older than my grandmother, DA-YUM, you age well! I had no idea you were 90 years old! :)

  7. Hi! Me and my mom, are extremely different characters to begin with... she is focused - I'm not; she is organized - I have my days; she is social - I'm shy; she is down to earth - I daydream a lot and find really hard to focus on reality (it's boring); she is hooked in cleaning every bit of the house - I appreciate my "organized chaos"... When I was younger and we went shopping and I was facing a "two things but can only afford one" situation, I used to ask her which one she likes and buy the other one... And I can go on for hours!! But what happened while growing up, is that I learned to appreciate our differences and learn a lot from that and love my mom even more!! (even though I still can't see her point most of the times!)

  8. I was just visiting my Mom and Dad. So, this is a great post. It's got me thinking. I'd say the negative thing that my Mom and I share is that we worry.....a lot. We're worriers. That's what we do. I think the difference is that I can laugh about it but it weighs heavier on her.

    But speaking of laughingm, we share that very positive trait. We giggle at the dumbest stuff. And once we get started, we'll laugh till we wet our pants. I love to get her going. It makes me happy to see her full of joy.

    Thanks for asking this question. I think it made me appreciate my Mom a little bit more today. And yesterday was her birthday. Happy Birthday, Mama!


  9. I look a lot like my mom - we have the same smile. People who know her and have never met me always know I'm her daughter. This used to bug me when I was in my teens/20s (because, you know, I wanted to be ME, not a clone of my mom), but now I like it, because my mom - at 65 - looks great!

    We are also alike in many of our mannerisms, which I'm sure I picked up from her over the years. We sit the same way, have the same dry and warped sense of humour, and both have "overactive tear ducts" (we cry at anything and everything).

    I'm also sort of built like my mom (curvy shape, big boobs), but it's all hung on my dad's frame (long thin bones, thin hands and feet).

    One of the best things about my mom, and why she has always been my role model, is that she is fearless about being herself and doing what she wanted to do. When I was a kid, she went back to university and got her degree, decided to become an artist, and now that she's retired, she's an athletic coach. She taught me by example that I can do anything I want to! I love her dearly.

  10. My Mom Loved shopping and that is how I am like her. Not much in any other way. The shopping is Good and Bad lol.

  11. I am like my mom in the sense that we both have that sense of responsibility and seeing things beyond what meets the eye. We can both love unconditionally and value truth over anything else.

    I used to be very much like my mother up until last year. Then slowly I started changing, I'm more positive now and assertive, which my mom and I were never before. I wish she was more like this, she could have achieved so much more in life if she only stopped thinking about the invisible cultural and societal forces that holds her back.

    Tashrin - A Toronto based personal style blog

  12. Oh, boy. I love this question. I could go on about her for days!!

    For anyone who doesn't know this like you do, my mom passed away almost six years ago. Valentine's Day is the sixth anniversary.

    A way that I am not really like my mom (that I sometimes wish I were) is I don't really look like her. I'm happy with the way I look. It's just that sometimes I wish I could look in the mirror and see more of her staring back at me now that she's gone. I'm a pretty blended mix between her appearance and my dad's but look more like him. Sometimes I will just stare at myself, searching for something, anything, there that looks like her.

    The ways that I AM like her...I just have to laugh. My dad just remarked to me yesterday that I become more like my mom every year. My mom and I have almost the same emotional makeup (maternal, sometimes over-sensitive, sometimes irrational and paranoid, loving, loyal), similar dry sense of humor, same taste in lots of things, and I like to THINK the same sex appeal. hahaha She was a beauty, inside and out. She had the sexiest voice and a magnetic appeal. She also worried AAALLL the time...which I also do, but actually not nearly as bad anymore. It's something I've worked really hard on.

    She had NO CLUE how pretty or how amazing of a person she was. When she died, it made me completely rethink the way I perceive myself. I didn't want to have that same plight.

    I've totally turned into her in ways such as: if it's storming outside, hubby and animals and I all have to go downstairs just like my mom used to make us do because a tree MIIIIGHT fall on the house (I used to roll my eyes, but now I do it too)...she used to get incensed if I forgot to take my cell phone with me or wouldn't answer when she called, and yes, I have become that way with my husband (look out, future child!). I could go on and on.

    I think about her every single day. I know she isn't really "gone." I get too many assurances of that from time to time. :) What I really miss is being able to feel her hug me, calling her up, seeing her smile at the sight of me. I can only hope I am mostly just like would be enough to make anyone proud. :)

  13. I'm like my mom in that I'm a rather impatient person; if I have an idea for something I like to act on it right away, even if it means I'm not fully prepared. I hate prep work, preferring to work out the smaller details as I go. The biggest hazard is that I get partway through something and realize I'm doing it wrong, but the best part is that I can quickly formulate a plan and take action on it while other people are still sitting around thinking about why it can't be done.

    My mom and I are also both very, very fond of red wine. :-)

  14. I wish I knew about your post aND Your blog. This is such a nice regular post. There are a few good and bad things I got from my mother. The good ones are her generosity and her eye for style. The bad one, her temper. I am not too attached to her bec I changed the way I think when I traversed to a new culture. I realized that most of our culture are'nt helpful and wise. To be generous is not good at all times, I would rather be practical. She is still the conservative, and I am the outrageous. Thanks for following & for dropping a comment, I am now your new reader and ff-wr!

  15. Great answers, guys. Thank you for sharing.

  16. I am like my mom in many ways. We are both very caring and generous. I am happy that I am like my mom all though sometimes being too generous, and giiving sometimes I get taken advantige of. My husband says we are both stubborn, I don't see that.

  17. My mom and I both obsess about our pet cats, really really loving them a lot. My cat makes me really happy. Her cat died and she is too sad about it to get another one, but she has my brother's dog to love instead.

    I used to get super angry the way my mom did, but we both kinda calmed down around the same few years and learned to communicate better. I didn't like that I got uncontrollably upset like she did, I was glad we both stopped doing that.

    I don't look much like my mom, I am tall and she is short. I am average and she is obese. She had brown hair and has brown eyes, and I have blue eyes and red hair (naturally blond). But we both have pale skin and I like that.

    We both like art and so it is fun when we can go to art classes together. It is a fun way to make a little extra money and an enjoyable profession.

  18. My mother and I are extremly diffrent. I love to cook and bake, she hates it with a passion. The only thing that we have in common is the music we listen too(not all but a few things)and that we are both redheads :)

  19. First of all i would like to say that I love my mother no matter what, but the only thing that we have in common is that we look a like. I know my mother has been through a lot in her life, I know raising kids was not easy, but I feel we are very different.

  20. The older I get, the more I realize that I'm a lot like my mom. I tend to worry (though not as much as she does). I care a lot about other people, especially family and friends, and often tend to be self-sacrificing to make their lives better. I am hurt and disgusted by the injustice in the world. I like helping people. Other than the worrying (and to some degree, the self-sacrificing) I think these are all good traits. When I was younger, I hated being told that I was a lot like my mom. Now, I'm a lot closer to her, and I'm happy I inherited some of her traits.

  21. Mom and I both...

    have good intentions but poor follow through
    too much of a need to be "important"
    are impatient
    require prescription medication to stay normal-ish
    work with special needs populations
    have difficulty handling money appropriately
    love to read and value education and the arts

    We are different in that...

    I cultivate and maintain relationships. She has no friends, really.
    She can't/won't control her weight to be healthier.
    She can't pay anyone a compliment. ever.
    I chose divorce rather than a tumultuous marriage. She chose to stay married (dad's an alcoholic and she's a hoarder so they both have baggage.. I don't want it to sound like it's all him). But I think she has kind of a victim mentality. I refuse to be a victim.

  22. Great question! I'm my mother in so many ways... what first comes to mind is in the way I dress as she greatly influenced by style growing up. And secondly, in the way I work... specifically my dedication and motivation.

    And I feel good about it :)

  23. Thanks for being so honest and open, guys. Impressive.

  24. I used to not want to be like my mom at all, but these days I really appreciate her for the many ways she is not like me. On a superficial level, we look quite a lot alike, and we both enjoy a bucket of wine on a Friday night. One thing I wish I had not inherited however, though, is a tendency to be a bit sarcastic and critical of things that other people are into, when it would be so much better to shut up and pretend to like it to.

  25. My mom and I are really different. She's very competitive, I'm not. I guess I'm like her in all the normal ways people are like their parents, in movements and phrases, similar voice and style of speaking.

  26. My mom and I have very different personalities. Truthfully, I am my father's daughter through and through... stubborn, loud, opinionated, brutally honest, competitive, assertive, incredibly feisty, and very cut and dry about being exactly who I am... The list could go on. However, my mom and I are similar in lots of ways. We actually were just talking about one of our biggest similarities the other night... That being the importance we place on family. My mom has always had her priorities right. She modeled that for me, and I definitely picked up on it. There's nothing that ever has, or ever will, come before my family. Also, I'd say my mom is pretty good at loving people in general. We are similar there, as well. I love loving people.

    Physically, we don't really look much alike. Every now and then, someone will say we do. But in all actuality, I don't look much like either of my parents. (I'm more of a hybrid of my grandmothers.)

    And definitely one area where I can think we are a lot alike in is the girlish and childlike silliness about us. My mom and I can have these deep emotional and intellectual conversations, and then five minutes later, we're in tears laughing over the dumbest things. We both have our fair share of blonde moments, and we like to poke fun at ourselves, and each other.

    I love getting older... My mom will always be my mom, but the older I get, the more she becomes my friend. At this point in my life, she really is my best friend... and I wouldn't want it any other way.

    Our differences make us the perfect balance for one another, and our similarities make us get along and have so much fun together.

    She's incredible. One of the people I admire most. I'm proud she's mine, and I love anything that I have in common with her.

    If someone tells me I'm like my mom, it's basically the biggest compliment ever! If I end up like anyone, I sincerely hope it's her.

  27. That was beautiful, Meg. Thank you for sharing.

  28. i am shaped just like my mother, physically. this has helped me dress as an adult with the shape i have, and helped me learn to love it. spiritually, mentally, emotionally- my mom taught me to be me and we are similar in many ways, but when it comes down to it, my mom has never judged me. and i've always appreciated that.
    <3 mode.