Saturday, February 4, 2012


Life is strange and people can be even stranger.  I just saw a documentary about a woman whose story is so bizarre you can hardly believe it -- but it's true.  Or, at least, parts of it are true.  The filmmaker presents several viewpoints of the story (like "Rashomon") and you get to choose which you believe and which blow your mind.  In his glowing review of the film, Robert Ebert says it illustrates "the impenetrable strangeness of reality."

I have to keep repeating that this is a true story or else you won't believe it.

In 1977, a young woman named Joyce fell in love with a Mormon man named Kirk.  They talked about getting married and having kids.  Then, unexpectedly, Kirk disappeared.  Vanished.

Distraught, Joyce hired a private eye to find him and Kirk was located in London where he was on a mission with fellow-Mormons.  Obviously, Kirk's family was unhappy about Kirk's romance with Joyce, who had won beauty pageants and looked very un-Mormonlike, and arranged for his departure to end that relationship.

Joyce, who is interviewed throughout the film, traveled to England with a male friend and a beefy bodyguard she hired.  She locates Kirk and, using a fake gun, forces him to go with her to a remote country motel.  Alone at the motel, Joyce ties Kirk to the bed, feeds him his favorite foods, and makes love to him seven times over three days.  She describes their time together as being like a honeymoon with the man she loves.

Later, they return to London and Kirk discovers that his name is in the paper as missing.  He contacts his Mormon colleagues and, ashamed of having had premarital sex which is taboo in his religion, blames Joyce for his weekend adventure.  Joyce is arrested and imprisoned in England for several months accused of kidnapping.

The story became a huge tabloid controversy in Britain at the time.  Everyone was talking about the blonde beauty who kidnapped a religious man and forced him to have sex with her.  The episode was called the "Mormon Sex In Chains" story and can be read about today on Wikipedia (here).

The idea that a woman could "rape" a man was widely discussed.  Most men ridiculed the notion as impossible.  Joyce says their sex was consensual and that you "can't push a marshmallow into a parking meter."

After a few months in prison, Joyce was released on bail.  Before her trial, she escaped England and, pretending to be deaf, flew to Canada and made it back to America.  She continues to protest her innocence and says Kirk is the only man she ever loved.

The story re-heated in England when British newspaper reporters came here and discovered that Joyce, before the incident, had been a worker in the sex-industry.  Joyce had modeled for kinky porn and been paid for various types of deviant sexual activity (like bondage).  The reporters found over 800 photographs of Joyce engaging in this conduct and the tabloids ran those photos for an entire week.  The British public couldn't get enough of Joyce's salacious past, especially when it included nude pictures showing deviant sex.

As odd as this all sounds, it doesn't end there.  Five years ago, Joyce spent $150,000 to pay a doctor in South Korea to clone her beloved dog who died.  The cloning worked and Joyce was again in the news.  At first she denied she was the same person but eventually she admitted it.

The film, made in 2010, is well-done and entertaining.  You're constantly trying to make sense out of conflicting information and decide who to believe.  The story is so wacky and the people in it are truly crazy.

Question: Do you believe a woman can force a man to have sex with her?


  1. I remember Ebert reviewing this - it sounds fascinating. You might like "Catfish," a documentary about a NYC photographer whose friends start documenting his relationship on Facebook with a girl and her family. It goes in very unexpected ways. I was fascinated by it.

  2. Thanks, Sheila. I saw "Catfish" since it's the kind of film I always look for.

  3. Yay for you mentioning "Rashomon". Boo for this female rapist. Of course we only have a she-said-he-said account but if she tied him up and forced him to penetrate her, and this *wasn't* in accordance with a prior agreement to honor a kink of his, this clearly qualifies as a non-consensual sexual act, and hence, as rape. Concerning the "marshmallow" argument, I believe that's pretty bogus. As far as I understand, there's a dissociation between physical reactions to stimulation and consent to engaging in these stimulations. This holds for persons with either set of "bits".

  4. What an interesting story! I'm surprised I have never heard about it before... Rape is such a sensitive topic, especially these days. Can a woman force a man to have sex with her? I am sure that anything is possible. But in our culture, I think a woman's pleas would be believed over those of a man - just because of the masculine verse feminine equation. It's really an interesting thing to think about. Great review and thanks for sharing!

    Callie @

  5. I believe it could be possible for a woman to rape a man if you're able to stimulate a male to erection and as we're led to believe, its quite possible then. I've never heard of this story but am rather intrigued ... must add it to my list.

  6. I have read about this story before. Yes, it is entirely possible for a woman to rape a man.

  7. I LOVE true stories especially crazy ones. I will have to check this out.

  8. 100% yes- in fact in my victim service work I've had a few clients who were male, raped by females. It's obviously not as prevalent but still a very serious issue. This is a bizarre but sounds like an intiguing film I would enjoy.

  9. It is 100% possible and it exists. People always use the argument "oh well he got turned on". Yeah.. that's what happens sometimes, whether you are resisting or unwilling, it can happen. Girls may become aroused during rape, it doesnt mean they want it but you don't have to violently and aggressively rape someone for it to be considered rape. If they become aroused, it doesnt mean they want it, there body is just reacting in my opinion.

  10. Long time lurker, first time commenter ;-) I remember hearing about this story in a gender class but I had no idea there was a documentary! I'm definitely going to add this one to my "must see" list. Thanks for the great review and count me into the majority that a man can most definitely be raped by a female. I'd be very curious to hear Kirk's take on this now that so many years have passed and whether he dealt with any residual effects either emotionally or physically.

  11. Amazing story, people are so bizarre, but at the same time, isn't everyone in their own way?

  12. Holy cow what a crazy story! Yes I do believe that a woman can rape a man. This was an amazing post :)

  13. Interesting post, Ally - Yes, a woman can rape a man...Rape is more about power and control then sex, so if she can arouse him, just by making his body react...the arguement - "can't push a marshmellow into a parking metre", loses credibility....By the same token abuse by women against men is probably more prelevent (although less publicised) - Whilst I generally think that the punishment for rape is not harsh enough, it would be interesting to have more cases to see if the punishment for women raping men was the same as for men raping women....

  14. Such an interesting story. Only you would find such different and cool and interesting news.
    I would never compare a woman seducing an adult male into having sex with her as equivalent to a man raping a women. Physically the two are such different acts.

  15. I am confused by the story, but will answer the last question.

    Yes a woman can rape a man.

    The man would probably not come forward for more reasons then the why a woman doesn't come forward. But rape is rape...a act that was not invited or consensual.

    I will say this, which can cause even more controversy, most rapes have some form of consent to them..(hear me out don't jump to conclusions)...and i am not talking about those random street jumper attacks where someone ends up in the hospital. But what I mean is usually there is some sort of relationship or something was developed between the attacker and attackee. And at one point the victim does just "give in"..because anyone will fight for their life as a or both parties end up in the hospital..(not talking about those cases)..but talking about the silent rapes in which you just give in...even if you didnt want it to happen. The after effects are the psychological one..rather then the physical ones...and i am talking about from a male and female perspective...

    I have actually had a few people talk to me about their afterthoughts of the psychological implications of not wanting to have sex..but being provoked to...was it rape..yes...was it consensual..not really...but what stopped it..only the fact that the victim complied..rather then physical trauma..only psychological..

  16. This is quite interesting - and i had never heard of it.
    If your head does not consent then - yes a man can be raped.

  17. I do think men can be raped, but that it is rare that a women is in a position to rape a man. Although women can rape boys more often because of the position of power.

    This woman took big men with her to kidnap this man and had the power over him to do whatever she wanted to him. This is definitely rape. Some women are bigger or stronger than men and can hold them down etc, but it is not a common way for women to assert power. Whereas there is a pervasive rape culture of men using rape to have power over women.

    I think it happens, but I pay it little attention because it is so rare to be more a distraction from the major issue of male rape culture. Something that could jointly be addressed by addressing the major issue.

  18. As an aside, that is more serious, often transwomen are raped by men, and I think that is a very serious issue that should be addressed. And men rape other men as well. Its not rare, its a serious and all too common issue.

  19. Yes, men can be raped. I agree with Poet. I'm not so sure about this case though... It could be a case of plain religious quilt.