Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

Resolutions are a tired affair: we make 'em and break 'em with little real impact on our lives.  Plus, we usually fail to imagine serious change.

It's going to be different for me this year.  I'm going to actually do what I promise.  Given my dogged nature, there's some certainty in that.

I have a few resolutions -- including two secret ones.  I'll tell you them, but you have to keep them a secret.  Okay?

Here are the public resolutions: I plan to learn how to take better pictures (with my new Nikon camera); I want to exercise more and, like everyone else, I hope to lose a little weight -- or at least find tighter Spanx.  :)

Here are my secret resolutions -- for half a century, I've had two dreams, neither of which I've ever experienced and, to be frank, I'm not sure how I can achieve either one.  I invite you to offer suggestions for my predicament.

My secret dreams are: (1) to wear a prom dress -- one with a big, pouffy full-skirt; and (2) try on a wedding gown. 

I'm not sure how to achieve these dreams since I'm really shy and never make a scene in public.  I can't just walk into a bridal-store and say, "Show me what you've got."  It takes all the courage I have just to shop in thrift- and discount-stores where there is no sales-help.  The essential problem is that while I'm not embarassed by my yearnings, I don't want to discomfort anyone while pursuing them.  I'm extremely empathetic and would never ask a saleswoman to indulge my unconventional wishes because I worry about disturbing her tranquility and that of other female-shoppers in the store. 

Do you have any ideas for making this a reality?  Making a gown out of toilet-paper?

And what are your New Year's resolutions?


  1. You shouldn't be shy. If I were you I would go to a bridal store and ask. Another thing you could do is order online and then have it altered. You should go for it ! Especially the prom dress ! If the sales woman is Rude (if you go to a store), I would complain. It is a free country and customers come first !!
    Btw, my resolution is to go out more. Hope your New Year is Great ! You deserve it. You are a Great Person !

  2. Thanks, Emma, for the suggestions and support. I hope your 2011 is special and happy.

  3. I'm not sure about prom dresses, but for wedding dresses - how about ebay? Are you wedded (excuse the pun!) to an expensive dress, or just to wearing a traditional bride's gown of no intrinsic value? If it's the later, Ebay could be the solution. There are lots of inexpensive bridal gowns and dresses there. You could even start saving for your dress while you search, and as you search you will be able to narrow down exactly what kind of dress you want. Sellers won't ask you any questions and if you made a purchase that didn't work for your style or taste, you could always sell it on. A lot of ebay sellers specialise in clothes in specific sizes for the needs of transgender people too. It's a great dream - I hope it becomes a reality for you in 2011.

    And as for my new year resolutions ...well, I don't actually make them at the start of the new year. Check back with me in May!

  4. Thanks, Baxter. As with all of my clothes, I don't care what it costs; a ripped or stained gown for $10 would suffice to make me happy. It's the emotional aspect of it, not the market-value. I'm looking for an experience, not an expensive object.

  5. Wow, first off, thanks for having the courage to share your secret resolutions with us. Only action causes results, so you sharing this is the first step and in no time you will be looking back thinking WOW, I did it, I fulfilled on both of those dreams!!
    I also really appreciate that you are so caring about others in that you dont want to make other people feel uncomfortable. And at the same time by doing that perhaps you are not able to be as free as you would like to to express yourself.
    I agree, one place to start could be a thrift store or a place where they have vintage outfits where you could try something on, and then from there maybe you buy a gown at some point (thrift store, online, etc). One thing I read by Wayne Dyer (that he got from some ancient historical quote) was: WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Meaning, people judge you no matter what so why not just live YOUR life full out anyway??

    The other thing is, you have no idea how much you might be inspiring other people to take a risk and do something they have always wanted to do. You are actually leading by example, which is totally awesome (and inspiring others!!)

    And thanks for all that you share on your blog, I always love visiting you!!! happy new year.. its going to be a good one.. I promise!!! xoxo Jodi

  6. Good on you for wanting to do both of those things! I honestly think you should just say that you would like to try on a dress for you. I know that that's dead easy for me to say because I'm not in your position, but if you do have the confidence to do it, I think that people are a lot more understanding than we like to think and I'm sure that the sales person would be more than willing to help you.
    I'm really chuffed that you want to do this, this year and I know you'll have the confidence one way or another, Ralph. Good luck with everything and I hope you have a fantastic 2011!

  7. Thank you, Jodi, for the really nice comment. You're absolutely right about the importance of taking action and the unimportance of other people's judgment (and possible condemnation) of doing that. You embolden me!

    Thank you, Poppy, for your continued support and friendship. You make me stronger.

  8. Honey, just come to San Francisco and we will go into the castro and try on whatever you want!!

    You are very sweet. Je t'adore!!


  9. I know what you mean, Tracy. I visited SF a decade ago and felt very comfortable there.

  10. I love the Weddingdress Idea! And as Baxter said Ebay is a good way to get a wedding dress. There are a lot of sellers who offer to make one for you(mostly from china so it's not that expensive). I always wanted to wear a Promdress! But in germany we don't have that kind of prom.
    My resolution is to exercise more. I haven't done anything last year and I'm really out of shape, haha.
    And I want to travel more. I really want to go to the USA again and to Japan.

  11. Occasionally Goodwill or Salvo will have wedding and prom dresses- the one here had a wedding dress when we bought Hubby's gown for his Halloween costume.

    It was huge, poufy, beaded, and lacy- you would love it!

    If you don't want to spend a ton, just go in and look every so often- you can always say you are keeping an eye out for your next Halloween costume if you feel the need to cover your true purpose!

  12. Oh Sweetie, that's one more reason why you need to come over and visit me! Well, I can't help you with the Nikon, I'm a tech dummy but I can maybe assist you in the other two!

    My cousin owns a bridal boutique, need I say more? I always host fabulous parties at posh hotels where yes, you can sashay in with a pretty prom dress!

    I miss you but now I'm back my dear!


    Happy, Happy New Year!


  13. Marilou, you just set my mind aflutter! I dream about experiences like that.

  14. I was gonna suggest the same ideas as Baxter and LD...ebay and Goodwill for both kinds of dresses. You'd be so surprised at what you could find! I hope you find the perfect ones that really resonate with you. I love 20's image of you sashaying in somewhere in a prom it!!

    My goals for this year are to hopefully have a baby, get back into exercising regularly (was doing great at it going on 6 years til after the wedding, lol), learn to crochet, and take the world by storm with "the closet narcissist." ;)

  15. I am certain you can accomplish the prom and wedding gown dreams this year.
    If you only want to TRY on the wedding dress I would suggest finding a store where the sales staff are more open and friendly. I would also try going in as soon as they open when they do not have that much traffic-
    You can maybe browse on line shops and then go straight and ask for the gowns you like the most. That will make your visit shorter.
    Another option would be calling ahead, explaining the situation over the phone and making a private appointment...?
    Then again, maybe a friend has a wedding dress that you can try on ?
    Of course there is always thrifting.
    I honestly do not think you should be holding back from this experience just because of other people, although I totally understand it.
    So, if I make it ti NY this year as I hope to, maybe we can go together.

  16. If one of your girl friends went with you to a Bridal store that doesn't have a lot of attendants and is a little more privately set up, then you could go into the dressing room with her and she could help you try on the dresses. The shop people might not know that it isn't your friend trying on the dresses with you helping, when it is actually in the reverse.

  17. I so wish I was still in high school right now... I'd totally ask you to go to prom with me! You would've been so much more fun to go with than any of the people I actually went to prom with back in high school. (No offense to them. Ha!) Maybe, we can throw a big blogger get together/party where every one has to wear a prom dress to attend. Then everyone can meet, mingle, and dance the night away in our prom dresses and heels! Now there's an idea...

  18. Now there's a GREAT idea! I like how you think, Meg. :)

  19. Ally, I have several bridal gowns that are Plus Size and will be pleased to share with you. Also have many prom/bridesmaid gowns too I will be happy to loan to you.

    1. Wow! Really? That's like my dream come true. Why don't we meet for coffee or chat on e-mail? I think we have much to discuss!

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