Friday, November 29, 2013

Cara's Closet

I like Cara and have been following her blog for years.  What I like most about Cara is that she's a real woman.  By which I mean that she's authentic.  She is an individual with her own choices about behavior, presentation, fashion and life.  Cara doesn't conform to any societal role: she is herself.  I respect that.

When you read someone's blog for a long time, you get to know them.  With Cara, you can sense her intelligence, her strength, her uniqueness.  Those traits aren't as common as you might believe.

Some women have told me that their relationship to femininity isn't easy and has a long history.  Pushed into a prescribed role from birth, these women find femininity to be an ill-fitting suit.  For them, the choices are difficult -- rejecting conformity risks social criticism; adopting unnatural behavior feels inauthentic.  It's rough terrain to navigate. 

As someone with a lifetime of analogous struggles (publicly suppressing my attraction to femininity and displaying fake masculinity), I relate.  Boy, do I relate.

So I've often detected glimpses of Cara's difficulties in blogged descriptions of her life.  And been intrigued by them.  And sympathetic to them.

Today, Cara posted her reflections on this subject.  Her thoughts are profound and important.  And they came without any warning.  I opened my Bloglovin reader this morning and saw... my face!  And not on my blog!  I instantly knew something was up.

Cara uses me as an illustration of her point and I believe she's right on target.  Despite being the least-likely candidate for feminine presentation, I strive to achieve it with grace and poise.  In so acting, I celebrate the feminine in all of us.  That effort resonates with some women, including those who've had their own struggle with gender and presentation.  I'm extremely happy if I can give anyone else confidence and strength; that's a wonderful effect to have on the world.

Go read Cara's blog!!


  1. How cool is that? : ) Thanks for introducing me to her.


  2. I adore Cara! Thank you for your sweet tribute to her.

  3. I'll check her out - so nice to meet you Cara! :-D

    The younger woman that I work with and I are often talking about what it means to be female/feminine and we've had some very interesting conversations on what that entails. It's always an engaging topic.

  4. Now it's my turn to be surprised! I've been running like mad since I first woke up, and was so happy to see your post as one of the last things I read before bed! Thanks for being you... and for sharing the love for me!

  5. Cara's one of my favorites! Right along side you. I must go read her words about your wonderful blog. Very nice words you shared about her!

  6. I went and read Cara's post ... Very special post about a VERY special person!!!! You certainly are an inspiration and your posts always make me think long and hard. You are a very special human being!!!!

  7. I've been a long-time follower of Cara's blog. She's exactly what I look for when following someone new. A unique person with a special mind and outlook on life.

  8. While I suspect this colour looks good on me, I cannot wear it as I just can't feel comfortable in bright colours. I could maybe do a patterned multi-coloured skirt that included this colour and that would be as wild as I'd get. Couldn't do it in pants or a shirt though. I can do it in a scarf.

    I had a peek at Cara's blog too and will go back for more. I'm a fellow Canadian but unless someone's blog allows me to post just under my name as yours does, I just lurk. I lurk on lots of great blogs.