Friday, July 26, 2019
From: Secret Agent 008
To: Case Handler #666
Date: July 26, 2019
Secret Agent 008 reports the assigned mission has been successfully accomplished.
Disguised as a Canadian tourist, I infiltrated the International Spy Museum in Washington DC with ease. My cover was effective as the sight of a red-faced, slightly-alcoholic man of advanced age wearing unflattering shorts and an old hockey t-shirt drew no attention, particularly among the crowd in these parts.
Once inside the spy museum I deployed "social engineering" to locate the secret underground tunnel to the highly-restricted target area. [Note to file: Social engineering is efficacious with low-paid American workers who seem not to give a damn about obeying their capitalist oppressors' rules.]
Maneuvering through security in the tunnel was a breeze -- only one guard, a middle-aged female, asked for identification. I invited her to sniff my cologne and its tranquilizing chemicals neutralized her instantly.
Penetrating the inner sanctum, I suddenly encountered my life-long nemesis whom I've fought on numerous occasions. He still bears the scar of our last meeting when I parried his knife-thrust with the sharp edge of my Louis Vuitton handbag. [I was undercover as a shapely fashion model at the time.]
In contrast to our prior enmity, we greeted each other heartily. "Comrade," he exclaimed enthusiastically, "now we are on the same side!" Yes, I concurred; the election of a "useful idiot" has united our nations in ways unthinkable before now.
Unlike my standard assignment [blow everything up and escape with the prettiest girl] this mission ended with kimchi and vodka shots. If history repeats itself in the 2020 election, there may not be any future role for our spy agency -- unless Our Glorious Supreme Leader declares war on another failing democracy.
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LOL, I love this! I think you need to show us your "fashion model" persona!!ReplyDelete
Here it is -- second picture down:Delete
LMAO at your Canadian tourist getup :) This post is hilarious. More of this please. Also how cool you infiltrated a spy museum! And you're in DC! Have a kickass time!!ReplyDelete
Thanks! I get real pleasure coming up with writing like this.Delete
OMG this is hilarious. Love your creativity Ally! Hope you're having a good time in DC!ReplyDelete
I am! And thank you.Delete
Hilarious! I enjoyed reading this very much. And I'm seconding Sheila, as I too would love to see your fashion model disguise. And your lethal LV handbag, obviously! xxxReplyDelete
Hahahahaha! Where on earth did you come up with that description of Canadian tourists? It's brilliant! They sound oddly similar to many US tourists we have, just trade out the hockey jersey with a baseball jersey and make them substantially more vocal. Hahahaha!ReplyDelete
Useful idiot. Loved that.
Haha! seems like another accomplished mission my dear agent. This museum is one of my faves.ReplyDelete