Sunday, April 26, 2015

Stuff In My Life

There's no unifying theme to this post, just a roundup of stuff that's in my head. It's a pretty scary place to visit, so put on a raincoat. :) Candidly, I consider my blog to be autobiographic so there's a purpose to these musings. For me, at least.

The pictures Michi took of me last week are SOOOO good! I'm so eager to show them to you. They are, without doubt, the best photos ever taken of me. I feel like I can die now; I achieved a major dream. The photos are in editing and we can't disturb the artist while she's working. I'll share them in a few days when they're ready.

I just planted four varieties of hot peppers in my first garden. I'm surprised at how excited I am for these little babies. Every day I water and talk to them, even though they haven't sprouted yet. Grow, babies, grow!

Have you ever gardened? Why is it so engaging? Perhaps it's because I'm a born nurturer. That's my natural instinct. To help, to support, to praise growth.

I'm heading into NYC today to see a Broadway play. If you ever visit New York, our theater is a prime attraction. We have the best of the best and their talent will stun you.

Did you see the Bruce Jenner interview? It drew a huge audience, which means the subject is gaining visibility. After decades of obscurity, the existence of transgender people like me is finally being acknowledged and, in some circles, respected. That's positive. On the other hand, raising the topic is provoking bad stuff, too -- mockery, ridicule and stupidity. Those reactions are usually borne of ignorance. A recent study shows that while 87% of Americans say they know someone who's gay, only 6% say they know a transgender person.

My experience is that prejudice can be combatted by personal interaction -- when people realize an unknown group is human like them, fears generated by ignorance melt away. There's a sudden awareness that we're more like you than different and that our difference isn't reason to hate us. So public visibility is a good way to educate those who've never confronted us before.

That said, it will be a while before many get the memo. Prompted by the interview, some "friends" of mine on Facebook have posted insulting transphobic remarks. Not everyone on that site knows I'm transgender so they felt free to spout bullshit without expecting any blowback. I plan to talk to these people privately, tell them about myself and ask if they hate me. Based on their response, I will adjust my future connection to them.

In more positive news, I bought a baton and am learning how to twirl! It's great fun. I'll incorporate the baton into future pictures as a playful prop.

How are you doing??

19 comments:

  1. I'm good, thank you!
    I look forward to seeing the photos. It's weird how people can totally misinterpret people or a 'group' as you say until they know someone x

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  2. Hey! We will be twirling twinsies! LOL I really want to get some shots of me twirling outside but our weather isn't cooperating.

    I'm looking forward to those photos!

    I must admit that before I met you I only personally knew one transgender person and that was when I worked in a pharmacy. I agree that 90% of the problem develops from ignorance and fear. Like so many things in life really.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  3. I'm so nervous for Bruce. There has been so much hate spewed that it reminds me how awful people cam be... I hope it gets better.

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  4. They said they had 17million people watching the documentary . Its good that it is out now and you will always have ignorant people, doesn't matter what the topic is. Can't wait to see the pics of you twirling. I have a black thumb and any gardening i do i just kill the plants. If i don't touch them they grow really well. I can't wait for the pictures

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  5. We're trying our hand at gardening this year. We're trying to resuscitate a basil plant we got a a grocery store, I'm growing some green onion in the kitchen, we have a thorn-less blackberry bush and some garlic and other stuff too. Well, ok, my husband does most of the work... I'm a plant killer.

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  6. Hey Ally. I love that you've bought a baton - I look forward to the performance when you are ready :)

    I thought of you when I saw the Bruce Jenner interview. I realised that this would be both good and bad news for you - some people will now have much more of an understanding, others will see it as an excuse to share their hatred. I sincerely hope that you do not get any of the latter, and that Bruce is able to deal with anything that is thrown that way. People can be so cruel and it is so unnecessary.

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  7. I can't wait to see the photos! And what play did you go see? I'm sorry to hear that there were some unkind remarks from some of your FB friends re: Bruce Jenner. I wish everyone would live by the "if you can't say something nice" philosophy.

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    1. Me, too. I guess that's why you and I are friends.

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  8. OUr mom twirled baton in high school, and at 70, she's still pretty damn good! It's interesting that people spew hate not knowing about you. Not interesting, more hateful than interesting...but what I mean is that if gives you insight to people's real selves. You are amazing for not unfriending immediately, and for giving people the benefit of the doubt. I don't know that I'd be that nice. I unfriended quite a few people when the issue of gay marriage was at it's peak, and I did it without question. What I'm saying is that you are amazing. I can't wait to see these pictures of you!!!

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    1. Thanks. I have a similar situation with male friends who say stupid crap about women in my presence, believing that my allegiance lies with them and not the other sex. They're wrong about that. For whatever it's worth, these situations give me access to people's private beliefs, the one they hide when they are in the presence of others.

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  9. I haven't had a chance to watch the interview yet (but you KNOW I will), but I have been almost exclusively seeing positive feedback everywhere I turn, thankfully. I'm excited to see it. I'm so sorry that you've seen negative spewage from people who are supposed to be friends. I love how you want to ask them if they hate you now. Pretty powerful. And amazing to me that you've grown so much and come so far that you're willing to tell them at all; I'm like a proud mama!

    I attempted baton twirling as a kid but never kept up with it. How exciting and fun for you! Hubs is really, really good at devil sticks - do you know what those are?

    You'd think with my natural nurturing nature (say that 3x fast), keeping plants alive would be a fit for me. Alas, it's not. I've tried so many times. But I think actually that our soil here is all wrong. At least, that's what I tell myself. I'm bad to forget to water. Then again, I'm keeping one child and multiple pets and two adults and one business alive every day; it's highly possible I'm just tapped out. Next house, we need to hire a landscaper, because I so enjoy walking out into beautiful flowers, and so does kiddo!

    I really enjoyed this update and finding out what all's been going on with you. <3

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    1. And I enjoyed your reply! Yes, you are my girl-mama -- you've nurtured me through the rough patches and given me confidence and hope. I have no idea what devil sticks are.

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  10. I haven't had the chance to watch his interview yet. Mainly because I want to be sure I'm able to see it without interruptions and I've been traveling lately. At least on my Facebook feed I've been seeing positive responses. The fact that trans issues are being talked about in mainstream media alone is a step in the right direction in my opinion!

    XxMO

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  11. I have not seen the interview yet, I have been traveling - however I did read about the supportive messages he has been getting. It made me happy, I've always thought he was the best human being in that reality show and always wondered what he was doing there. He seemed too good.
    I think it was really brave of him to speak out - and I also think its really brave of you to contact each individual and tell them about yourself.
    Sometimes we make comments without thinking, I sure hope they are smarter than that and keep your friendship. Hugs .

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  12. Wow, that's a mouthful. I did not see the actual interview, but have seen some of the follow-up posts. You do a fabulous job educating people about what it's like to be transgender, what it means, how it impacts you and those around you, etc. You've taught me a lot, that's for sure. I applaud Bruce for coming out. And I cringe at the callous comments and hate I see in the aftermath of his interview. Most of it is born of ignorance. I hope your "friends" understand, and stick by you. If they don't, they're not true friends. But you know that. You're such a strong person. Talking to them personally will be hard on you, but worth it in the end, I think. It's just one more giant step toward living the life you were meant to live.

    On another note, the dog-in-the-cone pic made me do a double-take. I laughed out loud when I realized it was Belle's dog on my rocking chair. :-)

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    1. Thanks for the image, Kathy. I've kept it a long time, waiting for the right moment to spring on people!

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  13. i have to check out that bruce jenner interview. i've been waiting to hear him speak out.

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  14. I haven't seen the interview and being such a high profile person, I feel it was a very brave decision to go public and with such transparency that hopefully even if misunderstood, it will evoke compassion and acceptance that he should be Free to live without ridicule and persecution. I Hope that ignorance can be dispelled and I agree, in the being relational with anyone it can break down barriers and biases.

    I'm a born Nurturer too so perhaps that is why my Garden thrives, I dunno? Right now I'm raising Cherry Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Lettuce, Spinach and various Fresh Herbs in containers around my front porch... can't wait for the Harvest!

    Dawn... The Bohemian

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