Monday, February 17, 2014

Seeing Ourselves

I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post (a new outfit).  You taught me a valuable lesson.

I was attracted to the top I bought because of its bright, unusual color ("Oh, pretty!").  Because I can't try on women's clothes in stores, I had no idea if or how the top would fit.  Even worse, wearing it I had no clue as to whether or not it looked good.  You explained to me how the top's odd design, irregular shape and loose flaps do me no favors.  The piece is unflattering on me, despite its interesting hue.

That's the value of what we're doing here -- I get to experiment, you get to opine, and I learn from your feedback.  Unlike you, I lack experience in assessing female attire and I don't have real-life girlfriends to correct my mistakes.  So you fulfill a tremendously helpful role.

In a short time, I've learned a lot about female life.  My education is accelerated by intense study and unflagging enthusiasm.  At the same time, I recognize how much I still don't know.  My ignorance is greater than my knowledge.

I wonder if you're aware of what's happening here -- my actual project.  I'm expanding my life in an important new direction and you are assisting me with that.  Your participation is more than leaving a casual comment on a blog; you are affecting the course of my life and enabling me to be the person I always wanted to be. 

Thank you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, "It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."  I hope that's true and that you derive some benefit from coming here.


  1. I love coming here. You're like a box of chocolates : ) Never know what I'm going to get, which is brilliant.

    I know it is hard to take criticism but you have to know that it is the clothes themselves and not you that needs to change.


    1. I understand. And I welcome comments, good and bad. If I don't know I'm making a mistake, I'll repeat it; if I do, I won't. Thanks!

  2. What a beautiful post. Visiting your blog gives me warm fuzzies because I feel happy and excited for you. It's a privilege to watch and perhaps help you with this growth. We all make wardrobe mistakes; even those of us who have had a lot more practise with being a girl. A photo is actually more useful than the mirror for assessing what is flattering. You have lovely arms so in the case of that blouse I think it was more about the blouse itself just being a bit odd, and not that it made you look bad and who says you can't rock something odd if you want to.

    Thanks so much for visiting my new blog. You really made my day! Guess what? I've had two visitors now.

  3. I love this idea of being your virtual girlfriends, guiding you along this journey. In the time that I've been here, I've witness some of the evolution. You're intelligent, kind hearted, insightful and one of the nicest bloggers around. Happy to be a small part of this girlfriend network!

  4. Hi Ally, we all make mistakes, especially when it comes to our outfits. What looks good in the shop, even in the fitting room doesn't look so good when we see the pics. Somehow the mirror lies. When I do outfits, I like them a lot looking at the mirror, but later when I look through the photos taken I am often kinda surprised how odd some of the outfits really look. I am still amazed why the mirror shows a different image than a photo does. The worst outfit lately was the coat with the belt, nevertheless I uploaded it, because even it does look awful, it's still me, but I won't wear it again. We all are on an adventure with our outfits Ally, and I suppose our blog helps us a lot by getting better, making the right choice, becoming aware what really suits us and what's not so flattering. Anyhow, I guess this kind of blouse will suit no one because of its odd shape. Gee! I wrote a book today. lol.
    hugs to you

  5. You've got to be free to make those mistakes though. As a teen, we all made hideous fashion mistakes. That's just part of life and finding yourself and what you like. That said, it's great we can all help each other. Always a pleasure coming here dear Ally x

  6. Tbh, I wish I had the confidence like you. I would love to try more feminine styles (I'm still a little bit of a boy, even if I have a long hair and wear make up) and ask for feedback in my blog, but I don't have the confidence for that. So cheers :) !

  7. dont be sorry! i see a lot of grown up women running around in unflattering clothes. it is not easy to find your style but you are on a good way. you are doing the best thing - you´r asking for help. thats very brave!
    if you want to learn more about clothes search for books about dressing/styling, printed between 1950-70. they talk about body types, proportions etc. and - quality. fabric is a great factor in a good style. and when you know the rules then you can break them with aplomb!
    for colors you don´t need tips - your color sense is very good!

    and yes - we can learn a lot from you :-)

  8. Hi Ally,

    Dont worry I'm sure we've all done that, bought something we fell in love with in the shop, I've even tried things on in the shop and the first time you wear it you realise that it's just not right. And that's the great thing about what you are doing here, you get to have your girlfreinds tell you what they think all at once.

    In everything we do we are always learning, there is always so much more to know and if there isn't you are either fooling yourself or need to find something new in your life.

    Go for it Ally, keep doing what you do and experiment and have fun .. most of all keep sharing it's what we love about you :)

  9. I just read this post and the last with the "fashion-miss" top. And yes, I'm with the other ladies - the colour is amazing, the cut is not. I did however, like the colour combination of that outfit. That was a win in my books!

    In order to cultivate your own personal style fashion risk is essential, I think. I've made many sartorial mistakes in my day. Those misses are really the ones you learn most from - in regards to appropriate cut, style or colour. It's great that you can take, acknowledge and learn from your peers when they tell you something does not flatter you. You are truly an amazing lady!


  10. I saw your previous post outfit. Great top and love the polka dots.
    I admire that you are going after your dreams and desires.

  11. that's one of the best things about this blog--we're your virtual girlfriends who can assist you, since we can't do it in person. and this allows you to grow! such a brave thing!

  12. It is definitely a challenge shopping for clothes without being able to try them on! Blogging has really helped me see how important fit is, since I think seeing yourself in clothes in a photo is a lot different than seeing yourself in just the mirror.

    The Tiny Heart
    Oakleigh Rose Giveaway!

  13. Hi ya.. just back from a trip to mexico with my awesome mom!! I missed you!! it was great to be offline for over 2 weeks and just totally relax.
    I always enjoying catching up and reading your blog and to see how you have transformed over the time of having this blog is amazing. Thanks for sharing that with us, as I always learn alot from your generous sharing on here!!! As for the last outfit-- well, live and learn right? :)
    xo J

  14. Don't give up on the top, if you still love it. Use it as a layering piece and let just a whisper of it poke out from under a jacket, cardigan, sweater, shawl or other garment, or layer it over a long sleeved dress. Most pieces that we adore, but which end up not looking that fab in their intended state on us can still be salvaged and remain in our wardrobe with a bit of ingenuity on the styling front.

    ♥ Jessica

  15. I definitely get a benefit from reading your blog, Ally. One of my goals this year is to be more transparent about my own triumphs and struggles on my blog. We should all try to learn from each other. And I can relate to thinking an item of clothing would look great on me, only to get it home and realize it doesn't quite work with my body type.