Saturday, June 9, 2012

Getting Cranky

When you get old, you become cranky.  Life is harder than before.  Just moving your body is more difficult.  Joints creak and you moan getting out of chairs.

Plus, kids today have no respect.  That music they listen to?  Awful.  Not like in my day, when music was music and songs had a tune.

Getting old is enough to make you a curmudgeon.

Let me tell you about my days.  Back in the Seventies, we listened to music and smoked dope.  It was relaxing, it was mind-expanding.  Songs were 20-30 minutes long.  Like Don McLean's "American Pie" and Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant".

A typical scene -- I'd knock off studying and look to chill for a few hours.  I'd put a record on the turntable.  A real vinyl album, which has warmer sound than digital recordings.  A popular choice was the 33 minutes of aural bliss provided by The Allman Brothers band in their song, "Mountain Jam (Live At The Filmore East)." 

I'd open a double-album cover to form a large, V-shaped platform onto which I'd pour a pile of weed.  While the music soothed the mood of the room, I'd sort the leaves from the stems and seeds, then roll a joint or two.   Leaning back into a soft, comfy sofa, I relaxed and toked to the sounds of real artistry.  Damn that Dickey Betts can play guitar!

Life was slower, more pleasant and full of culture.

Nowadays, kids walking down the street are glued to their smartphones.  Without looking where they're going, they download a three-minute Justin Bieber song from iTunes and listen to it through earbuds (an abomination).  They chug down a 5-Hour Energy Drink and stop at the deli to pick up some Red Bulls.  They tweet about a talentless Kardashian whose zipper broke.  And check Facebook to see where their friends are.  And text about Snooki being pregnant.

I told you I'm a curmudgeon.  Just wait until you're old!


  1. The "kids these days" complaint was around in Ancient Greece already :) Honestly, I do appreciate the freedom, the mobility and the choices that new technologies give us but I'm equally annoyed by the speediness that ensues and try to opt out of it as much as possible. But then, I've been a cranky 45-year-old since I was 9!

    1. I hope everyone realizes this piece is satire. I heard that complaint about "kids these days" from my parents and their friends when I was growing up and thought it funny. Every generation thinks the next is falling apart.

  2. I often think I was born in the wrong era, because I love the laid back approach to life of the 60s and 70s - and the music!!! And I agree with you that every generation thinks the next is a huge mess. :)

  3. I must be pretty old. I grew up with a small turn-table and set of records (We also had one of the big retro ones, but I liked my suitcase size one). Some was music, others were stories on record, but you're right the sound was warmer, richer sounding. The needle hitting the record - digital can't replicate that, not for lack of trying sometimes.

    I let Lynne, bless her sparkling youthful energy, do the tweeting and microblogging for us this week.

    I have upgraded from a record player to an mp3 player, but the mp3 player collects dust and I tend to go music-less. To most people, an abomination, but I guess I'm not as musically inclined as the average bear.

  4. Hi Ally, I think I must be stuck in the middle somewhere. I definitely remember vinyl albums and record player, but I sure do appreciate my smart phone and ipod. I am starting to feel a few things hurt though, especially when I get up in the morning!

  5. haha
    I just realized I am old ;)