I never imagined being old. I still don't. But when certain realities hit, you can't deny them.
Here's an instructive fact. 75% of people believe they'll keep working after the age of 65 -- but the number who actually do is dramatically less, only 15%. That means our common expectations about old age are wildly off. Experiencing life in my sixties, I now see why.
We assume, inaccurately, that our physical and mental health will remain the same. It doesn't. Natural deterioration occurs. Even if you work at maintaining your health, you still encounter loss of strength, endurance and desire. And those are the lucky ones who avoid serious illness or injury.
Plus, weird things happen to your body. Functions stop functioning, hair grows in places never seen before and your sleep patterns change. The joke about old people eating dinner at 4 in the afternoon is based in truth.
I was always a night owl but recently my body wakes up earlier and falls asleep earlier (sometimes right after dinner). Often I awaken in the middle of the night when there's nothing to do except browse the web with half-shut eyes. You eventually realize that you aren't in control of your body any more; it is driving the car. You're just a passenger hoping it doesn't hit something.
With these changes, enthusiasm and even ability to continue working weakens. Sure if you had the same energy you could keep working forever but honestly, you don't. Your energy flags, which diminishes the desire to push yourself. Retiring from work is the choice 85% of us make by age 65.
Nobody tells you this stuff. Or maybe they do and you simply don't listen. Time catches up to all of us whether we're ready for change or not.
Have you felt changes from aging?
except for a lousy knee and having to cross my legs when i sneeze, nothing much just a digit away from 60 here. i do find my tolerance for the "yoot" and the stupid has disappeared, but i lack the initiative to confront them for the most part.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that our tolerance of stupidity lessens. Mine has.
DeleteOnly a year away from being 'in my seventies' I can vouch for your observation about deterioration of some parts of all we take for granted only a decade or so earlier. Change is inevitable.
ReplyDeleteI stopped working full-time when it was obvious that my attitude had become 'brittle'. As ProudinNC suggests, it becomes harder to tolerate what your experience tells you is stupidity.
The good news is, as you age you can still learn new things. It has been shown, in fact, that learning new things is the secret to keeping your brain from deteriorating. Build new neural connections. Find new interests, or develop interests you have always had more fully.
A final suggestion: expect changes but try not to see them as indications of aging. Aches and pains are your body telling you "you are still alive!" When there is a limitation because of the change, set new goals that accommodate the limitations wherever possible.
Keep growing as long as it matters to you.
Good point about new things. I believe in doing that.
Delete"I ache in the places where I used to play" - Leonard Cohen.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling (and seeing) the effects of menopause in my mid-50s. I feel weaker and worry about falling (since I do that a lot, always have). However, I know to take care of myself, body and mind, and I consciously work on both of those.
Oh, and I plan to retire at 62. :) Fingers crossed, only 8 years to go!
Thanks for sharing. I also hope to retire soon.
DeleteI've got the big 6-0 coming up later this year, and yes, I can definitely feel my age creeping up on me. I'm no longer as agile as I was before, there's a stiffness in my joints and I can see more lines appear in my face as time marches on. I've been forced to work less during the pandemic, and I'm thinking of making it permanent. I'm not in position to retire just yet, but I definitely won't be going back to full-time. xxx
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Our endurance wanes which leads to our enthusiasm for work lessening. Normal aging.
DeleteSo I'm 37, but I can definitely feel that the jobs I've worked have definitely caused me to feel older than I am. I have pain in my shoulder, which I call "server shoulder" from the 5 years I waitressed. I have terrible foot pain, I assume for all the "standing on my feet" jobs. I was in a car accident that cracked my sternum when I was 25, and I can feel arthritis setting in, especially when the weather changes.
ReplyDeleteIt's exhausting and kind of makes me scared about how I'll feel when I'm in my 60s.
Many jobs, especially those involving physical labor, deplete us. Over time it gets worse. We usually fail to see that coming when we're young. I wish you luck with your health.
DeleteI was just talking to friends today about having kids at 40. Of course, in my head I’m still a spring chicken but the truth is I don’t have the energy I did just a few years ago. But I also think it’s important to have a healthy dialogue about aging and it’s effects on the body.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this!
Raising kids is exhausting -- it's a job for the young. I pity parents who try it in their forties.
DeleteEvery time we have to skip a few weeks skating, I end up swearing at myself because I just cant bounce back to it. I have to rebuild back to skating for 2 hours.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's good to have something to do as you retire. Be it a job to keep working, volunteering or something. I think it keeps the mind and body healthier. It may not be at the same clip as a person in their 20s, but both of my great-grandmothers were working in some capacity in their final days (and all my greatgmas lived to be 86+, including one to 100!)
Excellent advice, proven by science. Humans are meant to be active and, if we stop, we deteriorate faster. Plus it's just fun to do things. The trick is finding the right balance to your changing condition.
DeleteNobody... until now. Thank you for this frank, excellent post, Ally.
ReplyDeleteI am a firm believer that aging beats the alternative, so will happily take just about anything my body wants to throw my way if it means I get to see plenty more sunrises before the sun sets on my own time on this planet.
Autumn Zenith 🧡 Witchcrafted Life
I wish that for both of us! :)
DeleteThis is a really important post- thank you for taking the time to point it out. I have noticed, from observing and talking to my Mum and dad, that this is indeed the case, but it's still a shock to think about it happening to me. I am definitely more tired now than I was, even a couple of years ago, and I seem to worry even more. Also, I see, in the mirror, that I look older. I don't wear makeup so I see it more in me than in others my own age.
ReplyDeleteEveryone thinks it won't happen to them and yet it happens to all of us. Reality is reality whether we believe it or not. Stay strong, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being honest about aging. Finally someone mentions that it can be hard! Frankly, aging has been a nightmare for me so far and I fear how much worse it'll get. Not only are my own body and mind breaking down, I'm witnessing many more illnesses and deaths of family and friends. I just try to keep busy so as not to dwell on the fact that everything is decaying so rapidly!
ReplyDeleteThe pandemic has accelerated much decline. But the good news is that some aging effects can be ameliorated with smart personal choices (e.g., diet, exercise, outdoor activity).
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