Sunday, April 1, 2012

A Rare Breed

I have a friend, April.  She is a rare breed.  April is different from most of us.  In fact, you've probably never met anyone like her.

When April gets to know you, she explains her unusual story.  Every since she was little, April felt different from the other kids.  When they squealed, she purred.  When they played with dolls, she played with balls of yarn.  April says she feels like a cat trapped in a woman's body.  And she's felt that way ever since she was a kitten.

Science labels April as "transspecies."  April is convinced she is a cat.  Actually, the politically-correct term is "Feline-American."  Nothing makes April happier than to curl up in a ball and meow.  Her favorite drink is milk -- which she prefers to lap from a saucer.  April, in private, puts on a specially-designed tail and rhinestone collar.  For naps, she likes to hop on top of her bookcase, a perch where she feels safe.

Of course, most of you probably don't understand this.  People like April are different from the rest of us.  But it's important to look in our hearts for compassion.  Kindness exhibited toward those who deviate from society's norms is benevolent and greatly appreciated. 

April usually keeps her story secret to avoid being mocked... and told to get off the couch.  When people learn April is feline, they complain about the hair she sheds on their furniture and clothes.  April, of course, is skittish around dogs and thinks they're slobbering beasts.

If you haven't realized by now, April's last name is Fool!


  1. Don't joke.

    I actually know a person who feels that her real body has bat-wings and a beak, who wrote her BA thesis about otherkins and interviewed a clan of self-identified dragons for it - some of whom are mature, grown-up, well-to-do people that you wouldn't expect to be part of a "deviant" community.

    I know people tend to make fun of this, but transspecies is apparently a very real and kind of wide-spread phenomenon, and evidently subject to scientific research.

    I think we agree that we as a society should provide safe spaces of self-expression for transgendered and kinky people. (Some kinky people also identify as animals part-time during role play, and yes, I know at least one such person too. "Even though" I'm a plain boring hetero-cis-vanilla person... I've learnt some of my most important life lessons from "deviant" people and their perspective on the world.)

    So maybe we should listen to and create safe spaces for transspecies people too. What's the difference, really, except that it's one degree "weirder", and hasn't that been said about many things in the past that are now on the constantly broadening spectrum of "normal"?

    End of rant. Happy April Fool's Day anyway! (None of the above is a joke, even if you're unlikely to believe me today of all days...)

    1. Happy to hear from you, buddy. And yes, you are right about people who actually feel this way. Being deviant myself, I've studied people who are different all my life and stopped being surprised at the range of humanity.

      That truth acknowledged, I thought this would amuse my readers. It's farther out there than I am.

  2. Good one. I didn't fall for it, but applaud your creativity. Well done. :-)

  3. I didn't even have to read the post to know it's an April Fool's joke. I still remember flipping out over last year's prank (especially since I didn't read it on April 1st!). Now, to read the post and see what sneaky and brilliant story you weaved...

  4. i forgot it was april fools day!

  5. LOL.. I was reading this trying to keep an open mind but all the while thinking "this is really WEIRD".. I am sorry to admit, yes, I thought that:)

    funny... thanks for shaking things up and having me see my judgements :) LOL
    xox J

  6. Like Jodi, I read this trying really hard not to be judgmental, haha. I'm the worst when it comes to April Fool's...I decided to spend the day inside so no one would prank me...looks like that plan failed :P

  7. Oh my god!!! I was ready to google feline american when I reached the end of the post. You got me again Ally. :) Amazing one.

  8. Lol i kind of figured when you said her name was April! Clever though!! :)

  9. Hee hee! What a purr-fect April Fools joke! :)

  10. Aww man Ally- you totally got me!!! Haha I was even starting to feel bad for April- sheesh I'm so gullible! Do you remember those commercials about the house hippopotamus? I completely believed those as well!

  11. Good one Ally - if I'd read this yesterday on Aprils fool day, I may have cottoned on sooner :-)

  12. ha ha ha..have to say, you had me for some time here!! LOL! Hope you are having a wonderful day!
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  13. We were at the beach, on a digital vacay on April Fool's day, but you still got me, Ally. I kept hoping for her blog link until the very end! :o

  14. Bwah! I totally fell for it, and was trying to be all sorts of open-minded--I've learned so much from reading your blog and other transgendered people's work about what it must be like to feel like you were really born into the wrong body, and I was all, "Okay, well..." HA! (And yes, I know there are people who feel this way, but still.)

  15. Why you I oughta........

    That was hilarious. Thank you so much for that.


  16. I am going to be on the non joking side of this....This does actually happen. I don't have to write all day and joke. because in this instance its an April Fools...

    but maybe some day I can show you the world where people do believe they are animals, and the psychology behind why they are more comfortable in their animal form....