To aid you in selecting my Christmas gift I've compiled this helpful list of presents I'd like:
- An ancient treasure map, preferably crumpled.
- Detailed plans for a legendary bank heist with blueprint drawings and a motley but charming crew of talented criminals, one of whom will ultimately double-cross us.
- A villain's secret lair carved into the side of a mountain on a remote island. Extra credit for including a tank of hungry, man-eating sharks.
- A talking dog.
- A non-talking cat with a Twitter account.
- A cute mouse who not only talks but cooks delicious meals and sings catchy songs.
- A Blockbuster Video franchise.
- Elvis's greatest hits on cassette tape.
- A cylindrical audio-recording made by Thomas Edison, speaking to his lab assistant: "Theodore! Get your ass in here pronto!"
- A gift-card entitling me to purchase gasoline at 49 cents a gallon so I can pretend it's 1972.
- A time machine to transport me back to 2009 where I can buy Bitcoin at 10 cents a coin.
What's on your wish list?