Apart from its social role, hair, particularly long hair, generates experiences. Long hair demands attention or it becomes unruly. Fussing over one's hair can become a daily, even hourly, struggle. I'm in the midst of that right now as I grow my hair longer than it's been since my youth. Back then (1970s), long hair was relatively acceptable for men. I enjoyed it as surreptitious femininity. Later, Procrustean norms in the workplace required me to cut my hair short. For four decades I conformed to what was expected from a trusted male professional.
Playing with my newly-grown hair is as amusing as annoying. Yes, grooming it requires new knowledge and constant effort. I used to shampoo my short hair every day; now I realize that was excessive and stripped off natural oils. Brushing my hair is constant battle with tangled strands. Keeping my hair healthy and attractive today re-focuses my mind in stark constrast to its previous inattention.
How do you style your hair? And why?
I've never had elaborate hairdo's, and am a total dunce at styling it. Which is why I'm having it relatively short. This was fine, until now. Hairdressers here in Belgium have been closed since early November, and I'm long overdue a haircut. I've been fussing over it all day, and nothing works. It looks a mess even when it's freshly washed. I'm so glad it's winter so that I can hide it under a hat :-) xxx
ReplyDeleteHa! Hats are the tool of many. Like you, it was the pandemic's restriction on barbershops that started me down this path.
DeleteI love the longer hair on you. I think it suits who you are better and feels more like your authentic self.
ReplyDeleteI buzzed my hair off back in my blogger days. I miss it terribly. I've tried again and again to regrow it, but like many, the pandemic shutdown forced my hand and allowed me to hide through the awkward growth stage getting me past that hump that day to day hustle and bustle didn't suit.
I mostly use clips, hair bands, and "claw" things to keep it in place. The claw (or spider as i call it because it looks like a tarantula) leads to less tension on my scalp and less damage. Because no hair cut in over a year is leaving me with ratty ends.
I can do my own hair dye, but aside from a buzzcut, i can't do my own hair cut. I've considered a trip a time or two this month to get it shaped up, but so far the timing hasn't been right.
I'm very much a wash and go person (or dry shampoo!). I dream of one day having a thick strong braid, but i also dread the length and upkeep.
I think I'd like to settle for a low maintenance a-line "lob" (aka long bob) with a fiery color. Some day soon, perhaps, when the world is a little less scary.
Thanks for the feedback. Certainly longer hair feels more natural to me, more authentic. Even if I can't present as female, I can do this. Conventionally masculine short hair feels like a false charade to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently in that in-between stage where my hair is a pain, but I'm willing to endure it to get to the other side. I'm eager to see what long hair looks like on me now. It'll be different from my youth because your hair-growth changes as you get older. For instance, my hair is much thinner on top now than it used to be. For this stage, I bought and use clips, etc. at home but feel too awkward using them in public.
Thanks for the descriptions of your hair-experiences. I learn from them.
Hang in there. Making it through the chin length/tangling/touching your face stage is tough. And you may be older and facing new challenges, but don't forget just how coveted your hair color is by fashionistas everywhere. ;)
DeleteI've rocked a pixie for 6 years now, taking it shorter and shorter as time has gone on. I just got my hair trimmed last week and had my stylist shave the sides and the back of my head.
ReplyDeleteOf course the day after I did this, one of my older, white, male clients asked me why women have to have boy haircuts.
Um. Honey? It's called a PIXIE. So if we want to sit there and define haircuts as masculine and feminine, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't rock a cut called a pixie.
People are so weird about hair. I have never felt more me than I do with short hair. I don't think I'll ever go back to my hair being long, mostly because it's a pain to deal with and I have more important things to do with my life. It's just funny how my hair seems to throw other people off.
Hair *is* important. Your experiences are enlightening. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteI'm liking the longer length on you! Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm sorry you had to conform to wearing it short for so long. Mine is very long and colorful now - since I'm working from home and my bosses can't see me, I got some blue and green and purple streaks put in...the only good thing to come out of the pandemic is that I'm allowed to wear "unprofessional" hair color! Hair is so incredibly strange, I think it holds as much cultural and social meaning as makeup, if not more.
ReplyDeleteOoh, love the colored streaks! You're right that a bright spot of the pandemic is loosening employers' grip on our lives, letting us express our individuality more. That's what I'm feeling and it's great. You're also right about the POWER of hair. So potent, so unacknowledged.
DeleteAs you know, Ally, I've had tons of different hair styles! I'm currently re-growing my length. Do you have an idea of what style you eventually want to have? Think of some celebrities and their hair - are you more of a Jane Fonda shag or do you want long wavy locks like Nicole Kidman?
ReplyDeleteFor fine hair, I'll recommend some stuff that I use that is really helpful. When I want my hair to have lots of body, I use Bumble & Bumble's Beachy Spray - it is like going swimming in salt water, so it thickens the individual strands and makes it feel full after you blow-dry.
If you are having issues combing your wet hair, I strongly recommend this conditioner/detangler: https://www.teraxhaircare.com/product/original-crema-2/ - you only need a dime-size amount, and it completely detangles with a very light conditioning.
I towel-dry my hair, then add a few drops of argan oil to the ends to make them shiny and keep them from splitting. Most days, that's the only product I have in it. I blow dry my hair on a medium speed upside down to give it lift at the roots.
Long hair makes me feel more feminine, and it's a nice change after having so many years of short hair. I also feel like now that I'm in my 50s and my hair is mostly white, that I really don't want that "old lady" bob or short hair - that feels like a cliché to me. I like the juxtaposition of having greyish hair and having it long, fighting against society's expectation of a "sensible" cut. Long hair is much easier to maintain than short hair - short has to be cut constantly, whereas I only go in ever 8 weeks or so, for a trim and re-shape.
It is worth it to find a good hairdresser (my haircuts cost between $80-100!) who understands what you want from your hair, eg. I want to feel sexy and trendy and artsy. Think about what you want your hair to say. No pressure (hee hee).
Thanks for the pro tips, pal. Knew I could expect them from you. I don't know what I'll do with my hair when it grows longer; I'll see what it looks like and let that guide me. Right now I'm seeing waves I never expected which I want to preserve.
DeleteYou're right that it's conventional for older women to cut their hair short. I hate that convention. I believe it signals bad things. Of course I'm not criticizing any individual for free choice but I dislike it culturally and aesthetically.
I need to find a good hairdresser but have no idea how. Previously I'd go to cheap barbershops that only know how to cut short male hair.
For finding a hairdresser, you could do some searching around, looking for reviews. When you find a place you like, you could call for a consultation booking, and then talk to the stylist about what you want, and see how you connect. It's important to have one who will be open-minded and consider your situation, but I've found overall that the hair community is a very warm and open one.
DeleteThat's the approach I plan to take. Thanks for the tip.
DeleteIt's awesome that you're able to grow out your locks again, Ally. I'm so sorry that you weren't able to maintain your desired hair length for a few decades. That must have been very frustrating and stressful for you at times.
ReplyDeleteIs there a specific length in mind that you're aiming for or do you foresee it being more of one of those "I'll know it when it happens" situations?
Autumn Zenith 🎃 Witchcrafted Life
Definitely the latter situation. Given how drastically my hair has changed over the years, I don't know what to expect. I'll grow it and see. Thanks for the support.
DeleteMy hair is always tied back or platted. I once cut my hair short when I was a kid and only grew it long again in my mid teens... Growing it was an utter nightmare, it would never keep tidy!
ReplyDeleteI'm experiencing that every day now. Transitions are tough.
DeleteI only wash my hair once a week- to avoid stripping it from natural oils. Knock on wood, my hair is very healthy and thick. Some of it is probably the credit of my Mediterranean genes, but I also try to take good care of it. Avoiding excess head, blow drying from a safe distance, applying natural oils such as olive and coconut to it.
ReplyDeleteSmart move. I'm learning the same lessons.
DeleteI'm like Ivana, I generally only wash my hair once a week, mainly because of what she says about it stripping the oils but also, I am TERRIBLE at getting up in the mornings and there's no way I would have the time to wash my hair AND make it to the train station to get to work on time- as it is, I make it in by the seat of my pants!
ReplyDeleteI'm also bad at styling my hair. I brush it in the morning and then head off to work and that's it- I usually wear it tied back in a ponytail or a plait because if I wear it down (esp with cycling, can't wear it down), it just annoys me. People often tell me I should wear it down more but it's an unconscious thing that I end up tying it back if I wear it down.
I like wearing it in two plaits or with a side plait pinned over my head but it's rare I have the time to style it (and it doesn't work under a cycle helmet) and I really like wearing a wired material headband with it.
I SHOULD get my hair cut more often than I do.
I really do need to get a hair cut! It's SO long now and I am not good enough at caring for it to actually justify the long hair. My favourite length is a shoulder length bob. How would you most like yours?
Interesting. Thanks for describing your experience. Before I grew my hair, I didn't realize how annoying it would be to have it flying in your face. Really annoying. If I were female full-time I'd wear it back the way you do just to avoid that. But, in male-mode, I don't like ponytails. I'm not sure which length is my favorite yet; that's why I'm growing it through all the stages to learn what works for me.
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