Saturday, March 28, 2020

My New Project


Three things came together recently and led me to do something rewarding: create a memorial garden.

The first was a strong impulse I feel to show appreciation to my mother for her herculean effort raising my brother Richard and me. My mother died early when she was only 54 years old (1991). She's been gone for thirty years now but is not forgotten. I don't have a physical place to talk to her so I want to create one. It will help me express my emotions for her lasting contribution to my life.

I've never gardened before. The idea sounds cool but I never tried it. I've long believed gardening might become a hobby of mine when I got "old." Well... that time seems to have arrived. This is the second factor moving me to create a memorial garden.

The third impetus is the Coronavirus. We're all sitting at home, bored, looking for something to do. What better than pursue a long-held desire? Now is a perfect time to initiate projects consistent with public health safety.

I plotted out some space in our backyard, researched how to garden and ordered memorial plaques. I got two -- one for my mom and one for Robin's father Milton whom she loved dearly. I predict she'll feel as good about this idea as I do. Since Milton's death in 2006, Robin has been thinking about him frequently. She leaves messages for him on his Legacy web-page.

My plan is to fill the garden with beautiful flowers. I don't know which will grow so that'll be a trial-and-error process. I'll plant a bunch, see which thrive and replace those that don't. Tending to a garden is, I hear, a major part of its appeal: you watch living things and actively nurture them. Connecting with nature is something I like to do so gardening is a natural fit.

What do you think? Have you ever gardened?






15 comments:

  1. My father died in 1976. He was only 56 years old. Had he lived he would have hit the century mark this year. My mother died in 1996. I miss them both and think of them all the time.
    As for gardening...I have two brown thumbs. I have had some success at growing weeds but that's about it.
    Good luck with the garden and the two plaques are special.

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    1. Thanks. Sorry to hear about your losses. I've never had success with plants but won't let that deter me. It's the effort that counts.

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  2. I love gardening. I think you will enjoy it. I wait for the time every year when I can get my hands dirty with some new plants.

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    1. Thank you. I'm beginning to see the appeal of gardening.

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  3. That sounds a wonderful project and actually, connecting with nature in such a way is what we all need right now. I keep hearing about New York on the News and I hope you are ok. I think of you every time and my friend Lauren.xx

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  4. What a wonderful way to commemorate your mother and Robin's father. I didn't know the first thing about gardening when we moved to Dove Cottage, but it appears I have a green thumb. It has been mostly trial and (much) error, but indeed, it's the tending of the garden which is the most pleasurable. I also find it very relaxing, which is a plus in these trying times! Stay safe, Ally xxx

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    1. Thanks for the words. I don't know the first thing about gardening either but will learn on the job.

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  5. The plaques and a garden are a beautiful and thoughtful homage for both.
    I think you will love gardening, it takes time, patience and is so rewarding. Today I harvested spinach. I think flowers don't like me.-

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    1. Thank you, Lorena. Your spinach sounds great!

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  6. This is a wonderful way to use your time at home. I've always loved the idea of a memorial garden. We have one for my younger brother, who passed eleven years ago. It's nice to have a place we can go to remember our loved ones that isn't the cemetery.

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    1. That's exactly my idea. I'm sorry for your loss.

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  7. If the one good thing comes out of this is gardening, I'm all for it. You're definitely not the only one turning the dirt. Like I said in my other comment, i miss my little garden at the inlaws.

    Well theirs. But I liked tottering around in it, helping out. It was a mix of vegetables, tomatoes, herbs and a few varieties of roses and irises. I definitely don't have a green thumb, but there is something primally satisfying about gardening.

    I say as someone who generally loathes being outdoors!

    Mostly because I have wicked allergies.

    But getting your hands in dirt and being surrounded by green things is genuinely good for mental wellbeing.

    I think having the dual edged intention of having a place to honor your mother is beautiful.

    My mom's wish for her final resting place was "(my) mantle". I live in an apartment these days with no fireplace mantle, and eventually her ashes have to go somewhere. I think she'd like a garden if i ever get to buy a house.

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    1. I like smart people and you express my thought on this: "there is something primally satisfying about gardening." There is!

      The only downside to me (like your allergies) is my high susceptibility to poison ivy/oak/etc. Every time I do yardwork I get it and scratch for two weeks. This morning I woke up with itching and... yup.

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  8. Oh, what a wonderful idea! I wish I could give you some tips but I can't even take care of a succulent, so I have no advice. But I can't wait to see what you grow and it's such a nice tribute.

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