Thursday, February 27, 2020

Adulthood


When I was young, I was eager to grow up and become an adult. Adults have freedom! They can do whatever they want! Adults can eat candy all day and their mothers can't stop 'em.

Reality differs from childhood wishes. Being an adult is hard. Some say it sucks and I won't argue with that. Certainly adulthood is difficult -- we have to worry about money, making a living and doing unpleasant things. Our parents become less willing to support us so we need to figure out other ways to survive. Like college and jobs. Ugh.

Adulthood diminishes our dreams. We realize we're not going to be ballerinas, astronauts or professional baseball players. Instead we need to struggle and, unless your parents are rich and easing your path, doing well requires sustained effort.

I achieved my career goals but I didn't expect it to be so hard. The journey changed my outlook. Rather than soaring easily to vast heights, I trudged a slow slog up the career ladder. Doing just a little better than the year before was usually good enough. Boredom at work became a relief since it meant I wasn't actively miserable -- and anxiety was pain I grew to know with frequency. For decades, possessing a net worth of zero was my goal because that would mean I'd climbed out of crippling debt from school loans and credit cards. My expectations evolved in the wrong direction. And don't get me started on physical aging. Ouch.

"When you become a teenager, you step onto a bridge....The opposite shore is adulthood. Childhood lies behind. The bridge is made of wood. As you cross it, it burns behind you." (Gail Carson Levine)

When you were a kid, what did you think adulthood was going to be like?


12 comments:

  1. I can really relate to this right now.

    I find myself wishing to go back to the carefree life of a kid so often. Being an adult means too many worries and too much responsibility. Lately it feels like the sky is falling and I'm running around like Chicken Little.

    I'm really glad to know I'm not the only one that wishes I could go back in time.

    Hugs

    Suzanne

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    1. Yes, and "carefree" is the perfect word for our happiness as children. Best of luck with your current struggles.

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  2. What a poignant, well-written post, and I too can relate to that. I'm not always sure I like being an adult and at times I wonder if I'm not just an imposter, playing at being an adult, but other people seem to think that I am and expect adult things from me. I've been a worrywort all my life, and I am certain I had worries as a child, but looking back through those famous rose-tinted glasses it seems to have been a carefree time. xxx

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    1. Thank you. (I actually put time and effort into my writing here; it's not just dashed off.) Yes, "carefree" is the word that keeps coming up when we look back at our younger days.

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  3. Being an adult is not at all what I thought it would be when I was eight. Now that I can actually stay up until all hours of the night, I'm exhausted from a full day and ready for bed early. I loved reading your reflections!

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    1. Ha! I had the same feeling about staying up late and the same experience now. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Recently someone asked our fellow Long Islander Billy Joel what his favorite age was and he said "Now". I agree with him. I think that the healthiest approach is to live each age as if it is your best and to make the best of it.
    I am not sure if you recall the old sports radio pioneer Art Rust, Jr. He signed off every broadcast somewhat as follows.
    "Yesterday is a cancelled check....tomorrow is a promissory note...today is the only time that you can control so use it as best you can".

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  5. It's hard, but there is more autonomy. I was lucky and had a boring ez childhood --- I now know about so many people/children who don't... Life has been dealing whammy after whammy tho in my 40s. Tough.

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  6. It's funny, I used to think being an adult would be kind of boring actually when I was a kid. But I've found it to be quite the opposite. While it is definitely hard at times, it's also been an amazing adventure.

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  7. I was afraid to grow up and rightly so - adulthood is so much worse than I ever could have imagined. :(

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