Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Favorite Experience

What is your favorite thing to do? I'm talking about an act or gesture that you enjoy. For me, it's simple -- in fact, I just did it. Let me provide context.

I'm a lawyer. Every week I go to court and battle adversaries. Often the struggle is hard. Even a routine appearance can become important because judges are unpredictable: not enough coffee and one might force you to argue a critical issue. Good lawyers always need to be prepared. The experience is stressful. I've done it hundreds of times over the past 34 years and never -- not once -- have I avoided pressure.

So, back to my question. The moment I leave a courtroom, when my job is done, I loosen my tie and open the top button of my dress-shirt. I experience relief -- deep, satisfying relief. The act provides more than physical comfort, it offers psychological and symbolic relief. I've done my job, tension evaporates, and I relax. This is such a calming gesture. I don't know any other act in my life which gives me the same feeling. I faced a tiger, stared it in the face, and survived. Necktie-loosening is my acknowledgment of survival.

How 'bout you? I've heard many women say their favorite time is when they return home and take off their bra. I can relate to that.


  1. Ha! I don't take off my bra, but I switch to a more comfortable one. For me, it's my headset at work - I have to wear it all day, and it presses on my earrings and upper ear piercing (and no other type of headset will work with my corporate desk phone, of course!), and it's my "ball and chain" while I'm at work - I put it on in the morning and it doesn't come off until I leave at night. It's such a relief to take it off! It means, "I'm done, I'm outta here!"

  2. I was going to say -- definitely akin to taking off the bra at the end of a long day.

  3. Hmmm bra removal is indeed liberating, but for me its the shoes. The moment I get home and I just take my shoes off.

  4. The moment the work clothes come off and the pajama pants/yoga pants go on. So kind of like bra removal I guess!

  5. Da@M,
    You already predicted the profound Ahh sensation of taking the bra off!
    But for me, there are other liberating, satisfying moments.
    A meal wiht extended family , with no eruptions, ( lots and lots of family)... ahh, whew!
    A follow up appointment with a doctor that shows nothing imminently worrisome. Ahhh, Whew!

    Sometimes it is a glimpse at the calendar or the candles on my birthday cake; I am still here, doing well, and my hubby and kids are fine. Then I can exhale.
    I can have 3 ounces of wine, which I sip with reverence and gratitude.
    xx, Elle

  6. Insightful, lovely post, Ally. I definitely give the removal of one's brassier my vote as well, but I think that something that gives me an even greater sense of that stress-be-gone feeling is slipping out of a pair of heels (or other potentially uncomfortable-after-a-while shoes), especially if, as the old saying goes, one's dogs are barking. :)

    Wishing a terrific last week of February, my friend,
    ♥ Jessica

  7. I. Do. Not. Know. How. You. Do. It. Day in and day out week after week.
    Mind you I spent many hours on the stage which has some pressure involved, but also exhileration.
    I suspect I don't have anything in my life that releases as you do because I don't have as much pressure.
    But changing out of an annoying fabric or taking off shoes and jewellery would be equivalent.
    Taking the kids to the drs and finding a simple solution, hearing good news from the dr, finding you passed a test would also count.
    And finally lying down in bed at the end of a busy stressful day. Ahhhh....done! Xo Jazzy Jack

  8. Shoes off and slippers on for me but yes, it is a relief to take off a bra!!! And well done!!x

  9. I love the moment I get back home and take my bra and shoes off, as well...and I do enjoy watching tv series and movies, if they are good enough it's my "goodbye reality" moment, ahah =) Kisses

    Fashion and Cookies - fashion blog

  10. When I used to work trade shows all the time and I had to be "on" 24/7 it was the moment I got back to the hotel and slipped on my PJs. I waited for that moment all day long.


  11. The ache the day after I get a tattoo. The process hurts, it's painful, but in the wake of the needles, art is left behind. But the very next day is the worst pain. Your muscles hurt, your nerves sing, but in the span of a week, the aches and stings disappear and your art heals.

    I always feel like I've survived. But also during the process I've been able to give something up to my artist and let him process my ideas into something tangible.

    It helps that tattoos symbolize important things that have happened in my life. I feel stronger with my ink.

  12. What a challenging job - you have to be ready for conflict all the time! And that's what retirement has offered me - a 90% reduction in conflict. I don't wear a proper bra (shocking!) but as soon as I finish a stressful event, I toss of my shoes and jewelry. Feels great. xo


  13. You DO have stressful job. I actually applied to law school but then realized that I did not possess the temperament for it and dropped out. I hardly ever remove my bra. I was cursed/blessed with big boobs and I refuse to let gravity take over. When I've had A DAY, I kick off my shoes, watch until the clock strikes 5:00, turn on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and pour myself a nice little drinky. Ahhhhh.....

  14. OMG before I even read the last sentence, all I could think was "Oh, just like removing a bra at the end of the day!" :D hehehe. I think lately I enjoy being content. I have three friends who let me crash over on the regular, and I feel so safe and welcome there.

  15. I'd have to say it's either taking off my shoes when I hit the house at the end of the day or getting the mail because I just can't stop being a total kid about getting the mail.