Sunday, August 31, 2014

Being In A Hard Place

Some of us face hardships in life.  Those who are different usually experience pain from social rejection and inhospitality.  Becoming sad is unavoidable when that happens. 

The big question becomes -- What do we do?  How do we react to our difficulties?  Do we crumble?  Do we fight back?  Do we abandon hope for a happy life?

I'm friends with a blogger in England.  The name she uses online is Lotte (short for Charlotte) even though IRL she's a middle-aged man with a wife and a child.  Lotte describes herself as a crossdresser (as distinct from a transsexual like me) but we both fall under the umbrella term "transgender."  That's her on the right.

Lotte is in pain right now.  I can sense it because I know her pain.  It's profound sadness emerging from regret.  Lotte isn't living a life that gives her happiness and feels penned in by her circumstances.  To address this, she's started writing deep, soulful posts on her blog.  A second installment just appeared ( here ).

If you have insight into how to find joy in life, you may want to offer Lotte advice.  Or hope.  Or support.  I tried.  When you know someone's pain, it's easier to feel empathy for them.  And empathy expands our humanity and ability for connection.


  1. My heart goes out to her. Hopefully, her wife understands, and even celebrates, who she is.

  2. Oh Ally, such kind and thoughtful words, thanks for thinking of me.

    I can't remember when I first stumbled across your blog but I'm so glad I did. You're such a friendly, well liked blogger and I thank you for taking time to write some deep and meaningful replies to my posts, it means a lot that you did so x

  3. i just cannot imagine that pain. she is so lucky to have your support as a meaningful friend.

  4. Thanks for sharing Lotte's blog. I hope more of your readers visit and comment. I have a feeling it will help.

  5. I read your comment on Lotte's blog ... You are a special human being!!!!