Toronto II

I rode home from Toronto yesterday. I made the whole journey in one day -- over 550 miles. Maybe I'm not so old after all... When I got home, I had a well-deserved beer. It knocked me out as cold as a punch from Muhammad Ali. Here are some more pictures from the trip. Doesn't Suzanne look badass on my bike?!



Toronto, And Why I Love My Friends

I rode my motorcycle to Toronto yesterday and am incredibly happy. My intense joy isn't due to the city, it comes from the pleasure of hanging out with two really-good friends.

Suzanne and Patti are fashion-bloggers whom I was introduced to through blogging and later turned into real friends. I've met both in person several times when they visited New York and also at the Vancouver meetup Suzanne organized last year. When they recently invited me to join them in Toronto (where Suzanne lives), I leapt at the opportunity. It was a smart move.

Toronto is a surprisingly-large city, the fourth biggest in North America. (The first three, in order, are Mexico City, New York and LA.) Like New York, Toronto has numerous different neighborhoods with distinctive character. At Suzanne's suggestion, I got a hotel-room in the bohemian part of town, where young and artistic people congregate, socialize and buy unique stuff. Strolling down the street minutes after my arrival, I shopped in wonderful little boutiques and bought a bunch of hand-made coin-purses and greeting cards to later give as gifts.

Let me mention my biggest source of happiness on this trip. It is Suzanne and Patti themselves. These two women are compassionate toward me in ways that touch me deeply. They accept me for who I am, they relate to me as I am, and they encourage me to be myself. That is soooo nice.

Additionally, it is rare. I've spent my whole life not getting this from people. From earliest memory, I wanted to be seen as female -- but was not. After struggling for years with universal non-acceptance of who I am, I gave up hope of ever receiving it. So to be offered compassionate understanding now, my mind is blown. Boom!

You are lucky if you have friends as caring and lovely as Suzanne and Patti.

Foreign Films

I like quality cinema and you can find it in foreign films. Serious artistry exists outside the U.S. border. As long as you don't mind subtitles, foreign movies are fertile ground.

This week, I discovered two German films that impressed me. Both focus on subjects women care about -- love, romance and fidelity.

The first film, Phoenix, was made two years ago and won many awards. Deservedly so. It aspires to be art and reaches the target in several fascinating ways. I found the film by reading a rave review on Roger Ebert's movie-review website. (Even though Roger passed away, the team of critics at his site deliver sound reviews.)

I don't want to give too much of the plot away because it contains some strong surprises. The story is set in 1945 Berlin, just after World War II ended. A woman, Nelly, was disfigured at a concentration camp and has cosmetic facial surgery. The surgery gives her a different appearance; her face is unrecognizable.

Nelly returns home and wants to see her husband, but a female benefactor warns her that he betrayed her during the war to save his own skin. She goes anyway. He doesn't recognize her -- which gives her an opportunity to test his integrity. The movie hinges on the answer to that question. The ending is one of the best I've ever seen.

The second movie, Everyone Else, is set in modern time. A couple, Chris and Gitti, are in their early-30's and exploring a romantic relationship. They think they're going to stay together but each has nagging doubt about their future. The movie explores that in detail.

Gitti is irreverent and fun, which grates on Chris who believes that Gitti doesn't respect his serious problems (with work and his masculinity). Gitti is blunt, even when it's impolite, and Chris accuses her of embarrassing him when they socialize. Trying to salvage their relationship, Gitti tones down her natural instincts and compromises who she is. Ultimately, she hates doing that and wonders why she is forced to.

Unlike Hollywood movies, this one does not have a happy ending. It has an honest ending. What stands out is the truth of the characters' behavior. How much do we -- and should we -- compromise ourselves to stay in a relationship?

If you're open to foreign films and enjoy serious art, consider these movies.

Things I Saw Today

Summertime

Summer means shorts and sandals. I'm no different from the rest of you. Here, I add a new bodysuit that's fun to wear. And a pretty pink hat.

I enjoyed playing with this outfit and took time to relax in it. Often, I rush through photoshoots and don't give myself a chance to enjoy them. Today, I did. And I'm glad about that. While I can rarely wear clothes like this in public, I can enjoy them at home so I should.

Any thoughts about the outfit?

Spurts of Growth

I've observed that I grow in spurts. After periods of dormant inaction, I get seized by inspiration and then pursue a new activity with manic fervor. Enthused, I can't learn fast enough, can't move fast enough and throw myself into a new passion with crazed effort.

 Are you like this? Do you grow in spurts or steadily?

Twenty years ago, for example, my life was boring. I examined my dissatisfaction and resolved to do something adventurous. Something exciting and fun. I knew that's what I needed to inject into my staid life as a middle-aged lawyer. Without advance knowledge. I stumbled into motorcycling and the rest is history. I avidly pursued the activity, learned all I could and grew quickly as a person.

Last year, I started feeling that familiar sense of dissatisfaction. I knew I loved riding but was foolishly doing less and less of it. Not for any reason, I'd just fallen out of practice. The turning point was when I realized I hadn't taken a long motorcycle trip in years. Years! So I committed to changing that -- and improving my life in the process.

The first thing I did was to create momentum. I replaced my aging bikes (15 years old) with new machines. That simple act stimulated me to want to ride more. Plan, I can now travel far away with the security of reliable transportation.

In the past six months (which include three months of Winter), I've ridden over 6,000 miles. I've gone to:

- Boston
- Detroit
- Pittsburgh
- Philadelphia
- Punxsutawney, PA
- Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, PA
- Potsdam (on the Canadian border)
- Greenport (east end of Long Island)
- Rhode Island
- Montclair, NJ
- Toronto, Canada (in two weeks)

This recent spurt of activity has lifted my spirits and given greater depth to my enjoyment of everything. Even work seems easier now because I'm in a good mood. My physical fitness has also improved and my energy-level is higher.

When you feel irritated or listless, it may be time for a change -- for some personal growth to help your overall attitude. Symptoms like irritation tip me off that my life is lacking something vital.

Do you get what I'm describing? Do you grow in spurts too? When was the last time you improved your life?

Toronto

I was pondering where to ride this month and just came up with a great idea -- Toronto! 

It's the fourth largest city in North America. (The first three are Mexico City, New York and LA.) People tell me that Toronto is cosmopolitan and fun. It seems worth a visit.

The journey is a long ride (550 miles) but I can do that in one day. My new touring bike is very comfortable. There's a cool thing at the top of CN Tower -- 1,200 feet up in the air, you can walk outside tethered to a harness. How neat is that?!

Anyone been there? Suggestions or advice?