Back To The Future

For me (hopefully), my future is female life.  My present, however, is mostly male life with brief tastes of feminine pleasure. 

Often, work traps me in male-mode for days and weeks.  Finding a few hours to escape to my (female) future is hard but immensely satisfying.  That's why, today, I'm going back to the future.

I found a cute leather skirt for $7 and, best of all, it has elastic inserts.  Stretch is my friend.  Materials that expand can accommodate my odd figure.  Leather normally doesn't but, with these inserts, this skirt does.

I also picked up a bright top for the same small amount of money at the same store.  I'm combining them here with new cheap flats from Payless.  The outfit makes me happy, so wearing it is as much fun as showing it to you.

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Joy Of Grooming

Most people think of grooming as a chore.  Repetitive, endless work to shave, moisturize and pluck our bodies.  And it can be, depending on your mindset.  But it also can be something different.

I like to groom.  Perhaps that's because I associate it with female life and was forbidden from doing almost any of it when I was younger.  In the past, taking care of your body was considered effeminate.  It's why cosmetic companies have tried and repeatedly failed to get men interested in grooming products.  (Yes, there are a few rare men who do groom, but they're ridiculed as "metrosexual" or mocked as effeminate.)

In the last decade, I've given myself permission to  play with all sorts of grooming.  Shaving everywhere, moisturizing and using lotion, tweezing and plucking, etc.  And I enjoy it.  There's a zen-like state one can enter when focusing on our corporeal physicality.  And repetitive tasks, while boring to some, can open one's mind to potent pondering.  (The closest I came to that in my youth was joyous philosophizing which emerged, without effort, when mowing lawns.)

It's also fun and creative to play with new grooming products.  The selection of female beauty products seems infinite compared to the handful available to men.  My friend Emma gave me a Birchbox subscription for Christmas which I'm enjoying immensely.

Do you feel good about grooming? 

2014 Oscar Nominations

This is what cinephiles wait for -- the announcement this morning of nominations for the Academy Awards.  The award ceremony will be on March 2, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres.

Have you seen any of these films?  Who are you rooting for?

Best picture

"12 Years a Slave"
"American Hustle"
"Captain Phillips"
"Dallas Buyers Club"
"Gravity"
"Her"
"Nebraska"
"Philomena"
"The Wolf of Wall Street"

Director
Alfonso Cuarón, "Gravity"
Steve McQueen, "12 Years a Slave"
Alexander Payne, "Nebraska"
David O. Russell, "American Hustle"
Martin Scorsese, "The Wolf of Wall Street"

Lead actor
Christian Bale, "American Hustle"
Bruce Dern, "Nebraska"
Chiwetel Ejiofor, "12 Years a Slave"
Matthew McConaughey, "Dallas Buyers Club"
Leonardo DiCaprio, "The Wolf of Wall Street"

Lead actress
Amy Adams, "American Hustle"
Cate Blanchett, "Blue Jasmine"
Judi Dench, "Philomena"
Meryl Streep, "August: Osage County"
Sandra Bullock, "Gravity"

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Barkhad Abdi, “Captain Phillips”
Bradley Cooper, “American Hustle”
Michael Fassbender, “12 Years a Slave”
Jonah Hill, “The Wolf of Wall Street”
Jared Leto, “Dallas Buyers Club”

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Sally Hawkins, “Blue Jasmine”
Jennifer Lawrence, “American Hustle”
Lupita Nyong’o, “12 Years a Slave”
Julia Roberts, “August: Osage County”
June Squibb, “Nebraska”

A Trilogy

I watch a lot of films.  I'm a cinephile who, early in life, considered making movies as a career.  After shooting a few 16mm shorts in college, I abandoned that dream -- but I never lost my passion for the cinema.

I'm going to recommend a trilogy of films.  Given my immersion in cinematic art, it would be wise to pay attention.  I'm suggesting these films over scores of others that pale in comparison.

 

The movies are the life-story of two lovers who meet in their twenties, re-connect in their thirties, and struggle in their forties.  The first film ("Before Sunrise"), made in 1995, depicts youthful love with amazing accuracy.  The second film ("Before Sunset"), made nine years later (2004), portrays the choices and difficulties of middle age.  The final film ("Before Midnight"), made last year (2013), confronts the hardships of aging and romantic diminution.

All three films star Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  When the first one was made 18 years ago, the two actors were unknown.  By odd luck, they both later became famous.  Seeing them together twice again is a rare treat.

I was so impressed with the first film that I feared watching the next two.  But, instead of disappointment, I felt joy -- the films get deeper and more engaged.  The characters' relationship becomes more complex and their dialogue entertains as both philosophically profound and psychologically sound.  My mouth literally dropped open at hearing tangy words of the characters during argument.  Their points and language are truthful.  And brilliant.  And sad.  The dialogue rings with authenticity.

The third film, which made recent Top Ten lists for 2013, is the best of the trilogy -- and the hardest to bear.  You should see it after enjoying the prior two movies. 

This trilogy limns the material of love, romance, philosophy and life.  See it.

Psst...

Wanna know a secret?!  I'll tell you but you've got to keep it between us.  This is a private matter.

There's something different about Pandy.  I mean, really different.  From the time Pandy was a cub, he knew he wasn't like the other pandas.  He felt in his heart he is something else.  Pandy knew, as certain as you or I know that we're human, that he is a butterfly.  A real butterfly.

Of course, when Pandy told people he is a butterfly, they made fun of him.  The other cubs teased him mercilessly.  Momma and Poppa Panda, afraid of being stigmatized, told Pandy this whole idea is nonsense and he must drop it.  But Pandy can't.  He knows he is a butterfly even if nobody believes him.  Pandy feels trapped -- he is a beautiful butterfly caged in the body of a pudgy panda.  Pandy believes someday he will grow wings and fly among the flowers.

Nature creates diversity.  Biologically, it produces a wide range of animals.  Trying to squeeze us into arbitrary categories is a human idea, not a natural phenomenon.  Nature thrives on mutation.

Technically, Pandy is transspecies.  He identifies with a species other than the one society assigns to him.  There is nothing wrong with that; it's simply a fact of nature.  The problem comes when other pandas get together and, out of ignorance or insecurity, they ostracize Pandy merely because he is different.

The real harm is caused by intolerance.  As a cub, Pandy was taught to hide who he is.  When he was alone, he'd sneak into the bedroom, pull his butterfly wings out from their hiding place, and pretend he was flying in flowers.  Those dreams gave Pandy solace -- a sense of authentic self.  Even if it was only a fantasy, those dreams gave Pandy a feeling of truth, of belonging.  Even if nobody else saw him as a butterfly, Pandy learned to accept himself as one.  This is Pandy's true identity.

I know you readers are an informed and compassionate group.  I hope you will welcome Pandy in all his fullness and not make fun of him for being different.  Of course, he sometimes puts his wings on wrong and makes mistakes from not being raised in a cocoon, but we should cut Pandy some slack.  He's had a hard life.

The Unexpected

 

I don't currently own a dog, so imagine my surprise when I looked out the window into my backyard

and saw this handsome devil!

 

I grabbed my camera.  Graciously, the visitor posed for a portrait.

Ask Pandy

 

Two years ago, I found Pandy at a Summer festival in Long Beach.

He was lonely and we became friends.  I carried him home on my motorcycle

and he loves to ride.  Pandy is a great companion.

 

Since then I've learned Pandy is a natural advisor.

When I have a problem, he has an answer.  I thought I'd let Pandy

answer some of your questions, so here we go!

 



Dear Pandy,

I'm going to a party where there will be lots of smart people.  I'm not completely dumb but I'm not as bright as these super-geeks.  I mean, like, the only news I get is what I see on Twitter and I'm feeling a little intimidated.  Is there something I can say to impress these smarty-pants? Signed, Awed.

 

Dear Awed:

First off, don't worry.  Intelligence is not the measure of a man.  (Or a woman.)  While it's nice to be educated and informed, there are many unpleasant smart people.  Just as there are sweet dumb people.  So be nice and that will carry you most of the way.  If you need a comment to carry you over the goal-line, just mention that "Bitcoin is a disruptive technology that will re-shape American commerce."  Nobody will know what you're saying but everyone will think you're smart.

 

Dear Pandy,

I love my boyfriend but there's a problem.  He's started staying over my apartment and we now share a bathroom.  I worry about him hearing me through the bathroom door so I'm quiet when I get down to business.  He, however, has no inhibitions.  Sometimes, I need to put on loud music to drown out his icky noises.  Plus, we once took a shower together and I was shocked to see where he puts the soap.  What can I do?  Signed, Grossed Out

 

Dear Grossed Out:

Some boys aren't taught how to behave in front of others so it may not be his fault.  But that doesn't excuse his habits or mean they should go uncorrected.  Try to gently suggest ways he can improve.  If he does, great; if not, realize he'll be this way forever.  Most of all, buy two bars of soap, one for him and one for you.