At times, I sometimes feel my efforts here exist in a vacuum. Yes, people follow me, but do they care? Do they appreciate the hours I spend conceiving and executing new ideas?
Until recently, I couldn't tell. There was a void of real feedback to gauge my impact on the world.
I probably shouldn't be so emotional but that's who I am. I've been accused of being "too sensitive" my whole life. For a boy, being sensitive is classified as a felony crime, punishable by ostracism, so I learned to bottle up my neediness and keep it hidden.
A little while ago, when questioning my choice to put precious energy into this blog, I received an unexpected e-mail from a regular reader, Joni. She told me how much she likes my posts and how she'd miss them if I stopped. Joni's message hit me like a tsunami. It was a wave of warm love that washed over me and generated much good feeling. I appreciated her short, simple message and her encouragement will fuel my enthusiasm for blogging for a long time.
This positive experience led me to start including something new in my comments on other people's blogs. In addition to commenting on their posts, I add how much the blogger means to me and how grateful I am for their presence in my life. It's natural to say this because I feel it in my heart. Those of you whose blogs I follow are VERY important to me emotionally.
Based on my joyous reaction to Joni's message, I want to encourage the rest of you to follow her lead. When you comment on your favorite blogs, consider adding a line about how much you like the blogger. Tell her that. Don't assume she knows 'cause, even if she does, maybe she's going through a rough patch or can just use an emotional pick-me-up. Life is hard and we can all use some support.
Spread the love, buddies. Make a blogger happy today.
Well I have to comment on your post Ally! I've been quite shy at leaving comments on my favourite blogs before, but was often reading posts daily or at least every few days, and really appreciating them and the conversations going on below the posts. A stumbling block was also that I didn't have a google account or equivalent, and not everyone allows anonymous commenting. Once I had my google account though, no stopping me!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been up and running long, but really love it when I get comments and feedback on my blog.
So keep on doing what you are doing, blogger extraordinaire, I enjoy visiting your corner of the world :-)
I was feeling the same way about my blog a few months ago. It felt like no one was reading or commenting, and I almost shut it down. But then I realized that just the act of making the blog was something that I enjoyed, something that made me happy. I may not get a ton of comments, but the ones that I get are what I value - the relationship I build up with my readers.
ReplyDeleteI know that I'm bad at commenting sometimes too. Some days getting through my google reader is just another item on my to do list, and I'm too rushed to stop and comment meaningfully. I've since cut back on the number of blogs I read regularly so that I could have more time to really read the blogs that I love, and contribute to the discussion. Your blog is definitely one of ones I still look forward to reading regularly :)
I know what you're saying, Diana. And, like you, I cut back on the number of blogs I follow so visiting the list doesn't feel like a chore. You have special significance to me 'cause you welcomed me into blogging at the very outset and your friendliness encouraged me to move forward. I'll ALWAYS be grateful to you for that.
DeleteWell we would be so sad if you stopped blogging, so please don't! We don't follow blogs unless we really enjoy reading their posts. It's weird because we have never met any of them in real life, but the connection has been like they were long lost friends!
ReplyDeleteWe enjoy your posts because they are well written, well thought out, humerous, and honest! It's been a joy seeing you evolve and learn what things work for you and what doesn't. So we are commenting on your blog to tell you how much we love it!!!! Heather & Kayla
Thank you, guys. You two are so sweet I don't need to meet you in person to know that. I'm sure of it!
DeleteAlly, because of your honest and caring ways you bridge the gap in cyberspace to real life. You've become important to me just as so many of the blogs I follow. I would miss the contacts I've made like a lost friend. I had no idea of the power these blogs could have in my life. It is, like you say, about so much more than just our outfits. I find that it's a nest of human nurturing we don't often do in public, or can't do for so many reasons.
ReplyDeleteI have found that I'm better able to compliment others in public places now just for the act of making someone feel good. Because, we all need to feel good.
I hope we can all take the nurturing we do here out into the public places we visit. It would make the world a better place!
I agree -- and I have also found that my blogging has improved my ability to interact ( and compliment) others in public. Being perceived as male, I was shy about talking to women IRL but blogging has given me confidence to do that.
DeleteI love coming to your blog. You spawn such great discussion, you make me think, you leave incredible comments on my blog that really touch me on a personal level. It may sound weird, but I keep my blogroll highly edited for a reason. I look for bloggers who I really want to get to know.
ReplyDeleteYou've been on my radar since you were using livejournal as a platform and I'd be extremely sad if you stopped posting or felt this space wasn't providing you with good feedback.
Sometimes I find it hard to articulate what it is I like about a post or a blogger, but I do always try to comment on a personal level. Sometimes it just comes down to telling a story of my own in return, but I do try to leave well-thought out comments. At the very least, I want people to know I am reading!
I'm sure many will agree with me, Megan, that you are the ideal in Blog World. Your comments are on a whole, higher level. They often inspire me to pick up my game.
DeleteI'm SO happy, as I wrote to you, that we found each other's blogs! I'm always glad to see another post or comment from you because you always have something kind and insightful to say. So thank you, thank you for posting.
ReplyDeleteI think I have a tendency to ask questions, which can come across as a challenge rather than an affirmation. I will work on that.
ReplyDeleteI think you are a sincere person and that is rare indeed. ;)
Thanks, freeda.
DeleteThank you for the reminder! You are an inspiration to me, always. I admire your courage to be who you feel to be and I know that I have been the recipient of your encouragement. You often come up in conversation at our house...and until this post, I had not paused to consider that you wouldn't have known that. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYes! You are totally speaking my language. I go through bouts where I don't comment on anyone's blogs, and I feel like such a jerk about it. And then I wonder why no one is commenting on my blog! It goes both ways. Of course, when I check my stats, I have hundreds of looky-loos and only a handful of regular commenters. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteAlly, your blog is a breath of fresh air in a world full of sameness. I think you have a unique perspective on the world that needs to be shared. You do a wonderful job of making us smile...and making us think.
Thanks for the reminder about commenting! :)
I often lurk on your blog. I love your blog because you are not afraid of being authentically... you. Keep blogging--the world needs more spirits like yours.
ReplyDeleteDear Ally, I have been reading for much longer than I've been commenting, and since I came across your blog have been drawn to the honesty, courage, kindness, intelligence, and joy you put out into the world. What you do matters. Thank you for being so generous, both here and in the comments you leave for others.
ReplyDeleteOnce I finally took the plunge into blogging, I was thrilled to have you as one of my first followers. Further to the theme of the last paragraph of my response to your "Popularity" post, it means so much to me on a personal level to finally feel like I've found "my people."
Thanks for being your awesome self, and for having these important conversations!
Okay...now you've made me cry. For real. Before I came here and read your post I was just getting ready to send you a private email to thank you for being so kind in your comments to me and tolet you know how much they mean. How much YOU mean to me. But I guess I'll just say it here... As an overweight person most of my life I've never felt attractive and have a laundry list of things I don't like about my physical attributes. However, over they years, and with the love and support of my now husband...I've learned to love myself more and accept myself the way I am. I feel better about myself than I ever have. I've learned to try to spruce myself up a bit more and I enjoy it. I went through a whole decade where I just didn't care...because I didn't think anyone else did or ever would.
ReplyDeleteSo anyway... I still have feelings filled with things I don't like about myself, ways I feel I don't fit it, etc. But I am much more confident these days than I ever was before. I cannot even tell you what the support of blog readers means. I don't have to have constant praise to be happy. I'm already happy. But it sure is nice to feel someone cares enough to take the time to write a little something supportive now and then....just to acknowledge I'm there and that I matter.
And, Ally, I am SO glad I found you. You are a delight, inspiration, and encouragement....a true example of a beautiful, kind soul. Thank you. Don't ever for a second doubt that what you're doing here is meaningful...to yourself and to others. Sometimes just seeing the light in your eyes and your smile can bring joy to one's heart.
Thank you, Lisa. What a beautiful thing to say. And the story of your struggles melts my heart.
DeleteI believe you know how special you are to me :-). My world would have less sparkle and glittery buttefly wings in it without you.
ReplyDeleteWe need you in this world Ally.
Hi! Happy to meet your blog. I´ve been blogging for over three years and I can tell you this, the fashion blog niche is quite a snob niche. Unless your blog and outfits look like a million bucks, you´ll get very little feedbacks and those feedbacks are generally only to return the favors you´ve left on their blogs.
ReplyDeleteBut this shouldn´t turn you off. As long as you enjoy what you do and you produce quality posts, there will always be people who´ll appreciate your blog (and will take time to let you know about it) and it doesn´t matter if they aren´t a lot.
Thank you for the insight and the reminder. Your blog is an inspiration to me and I am drawn to your sensitivity and self expression. Blogging has become an increasingly important part of my life, and you are are a beacon that radiates within my world.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this, Ally. It's a great reminder to extend the human touch as well as the praise for fashion. Your authenticity and kindness shines though, and I appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteAlly, you're one of my favorite bloggers that I've gotten to know this past year - I love your kindness and also your sense of humor and know that if we were sitting together drinking a beer we'd be laughing a ton and I'd feel 100% at home in your company. So thank you for being warm, welcoming and wonderful and for always being so kind on my own blog. And I love the idea of telling other bloggers how you feel about them - it's kind of like the movie Pay It Forward - a little love goes a long way! <3 You're a rockstar!
ReplyDelete*blushing*
DeleteAlly, I truly enjoy your blog. I know I don't always comment but that's because I am busy with work, life etc. I like your ideas and think that you have impacted my way of thinking about several issues. That's why I like your blog so much - it's not just about fashion :)
ReplyDeleteKeep the posts coming...
Bola
Thanks, Bola.
DeleteI don't always comment, only because I am often in a rush, or have a dozen tabs open on my browser, to catch up on everything + I simply forget to comment. BUT! I wanted to let you know that I try to read every entry on your blog. I love seeing your inventive outfits + that wonderful smile of yours. Once I get an actual camera [I only have my iPhone for the moment], I hope to get more fashion posts out as well. :) Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteI feel like telling the bloggers you follow how much you appreciate them is kind of like telling your friends how much you love them. It's implicitly understood, but it's always nice to hear out loud, too! For what it's worth, I'm a terrible commenter but I do love reading your blog and I do cherish our friendship :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't been blogging very long, so I haven't made many blogger connections or friends. I've always been someone who read things but somehow didn't feel the need to engage. Often times the blogosphere feels insincere and void. Shallow often and not unique.
ReplyDeleteWith all that said, you are actually the first blogger who gave me a sort of warm, fuzzy feeling of welcoming and comfort. You are unique, you exude kindness, and you've allowed us readers to get to know you. I've really enjoyed going through your posts, old and new. Also, your engagement with me, even if limited to commentary makes me feel like I am actually connecting with a person. I love the feeling.
So even though I haven't known you for very long, let it be known that from my end you are indeed appreciated.
Thank you! What a lovely thing to say. And I'm glad to hear you receive the message I'm trying to send. We haven't known each other long but I predict we'll be blogger-buddies in no time at all.
DeleteAwwww Ally, how heart warming.
ReplyDeleteIt is true, sometimes we think people know how we feel but they don't because we do not tell them.
It's even more important to show this when the relationship is through a blog most of the time.
I have to say that one of the things i like about you is that you always smile in your pictures, you always have something positive to say and something in your personality makes one feel at ease and like i've known you forever - not many people have that :)
I hope you know how special you are.
Thanks, Lorena.
DeleteYou're absolutely right; it's so easy to get caught up in day to day things and forget to take a little time out to tell people how much they mean to you. Mine's a vicious cycle; I get behind in my blog reading and then I think, "Well, I can't read my favorite blogs right now because I won't have the time to read them carefully and comment." But then of course, that just leads to getting further and further behind. Like Megan, I'm trying to edit my reading list to the bloggers who are truly special to me, like you are. You really take the time to make your readers feel welcome and you put a bit of yourself into every post. You're a remarkable lady, Ally!
ReplyDeletei feel that way. i spend hours blogging, when so many commenters skip to the end or/and copy someone else's comment. then i'll see them remark on twitter about some great post or pinterest pin, when my blog had the EXACT same thing. if only they'd read it.
ReplyDeleteand then i remind myself i don't blog for bloggers. i blog for me. i would miss it if i stopped. and not every view i get is from a blogger.
Even if I have been reading in fits and spurts lately, I would certainly miss you if you stopped posting. Many of your posts are very well thought out, and thought provoking, too. You are a special person.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kathy. I'm always happy when you stop by.
DeleteAlly, your unique perspective on the world is what bring me back to your blog time and time again. If you stopped blogging it would be a loss to the blogging world. You are incredibly special and I hope you continue to blog for a long time. Your kindness and willingness to share a whole host of subject with the blogging community is an example to the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lynn.
DeleteI really appreciate your blog and all you do to share yourself with us. I like to think that you and I could be friends in real life if distance wasn't an issue.
ReplyDeleteCreating blog posts does take a lot of time as does reading and making thoughtful comments on others blogs. Your voice is one I really appreciate and whenever you make a comment on my blog, I feel quite honored.
Thank you, buddy. And, yes, we can be friends.
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