Sunday, December 21, 2014

Merry Christmas!


My Office

I don't think I've ever shown you where I work.  I have an office that's comfortable and enables me to do what's necessary.  It's located in the center of Long Island, which allows me to travel everywhere on the Island as well as pop into NYC.

What is your work-space like?


 
 
 

 
 
 

 
 
 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Holiday Outfit

Looking at holiday decorations, I was inspired to wear red and white, a lovely combination of colors.  I think this is a festive look.

Happy Holidays!


 
 
 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Men

I understand men of my generation very well. I've lived with them, worked with them and socialized with them my entire life. They consider me one of them, even though I possess aspects they don't see. I won't claim to understand younger men because they were raised a little different and I have less interaction with them.

I was surprised reading an article last week that talks about men my age. The female author gets a lot right. She notes truths that women often don't understand about men. I part company with her, however, in her eager acceptance of traditional masculinity. She advocates servility, an attitude that shortchanges women. While some women do choose to pander to men, obsequious subservience makes me queasy. And it's unlikely to lead to a successful relationship.

Here are some of the author's observations:

She opens with this advice: "Men are wonderful but they aren't women. They don't think like women nor do they communicate like women. So don't expect a man to act like a woman or you're guaranteed to be disappointed."

Then, speaking of older men, she notes that they were raised to be very masculine and they feel most comfortable when women play to that. She advises women to "bring this trait out in them" as a way to placate men. (I'm not giving this advice, just repeating what she wrote.)

She says "men show you love with their actions," which may be true but sounds like an excuse for failing to communicate affection in ways women care about. I believe if you're in a relationship with someone, it's your duty to make them happy in ways that matter to them.

She observes that "men want to give to you," so she advises women to let men open the door and perform other courtesies. "It makes them happy to please you. All they want in return is to be appreciated and thanked." But, accurately, she adds that you'll piss men off if you criticize "the job a man is doing for you. He's doing his best and, yes, you may be able to do it better or faster than he can but don't. It makes him feel emasculated. If he has offered to do something for you, allow him to do it his way. Otherwise, the next time you ask for help, he'll tell you to hire a handyman."

This is the ugly flipside of sexism. I frequently see men get angry at women for pointing out deficiencies in their work. Men of my generation can't handle criticism from women because it gnaws at their world-view: they believe men and women are supposed to stay in their places, with men in control. Men might not openly express their anger but they fume when being challenged by women. They consider any criticism to be ungrateful challenge to their natural dominance.

The author tells women who want to be happy in relationships with older men not to place demands on them. She says men don't like demands from women and resent meeting them.

While this observation on male psychology may be true, I disagree that women shouldn't ask men to contribute equally to shared life. Tolerating inequality in a relationship isn't fair. Plus, it implicitly supports and perpetuates a social structure that hurts women.

The author concludes her article with the advice not to try to change a man because such effort is futile: "Either accept him for who he is or let him go and move on." This may or may not be good advice; I won't opine on it.

There is diversity among men so some don't conform to the traditional gender-role. It's useful, however, to discuss how most men act as a way to understand male minds. What's been your experience with men of my generation?

Monday, December 15, 2014

NYC Motorcycle Show


Every year, there's a motorcycle show in Manhattan at the huge Javits Convention Center. I go each year and have fun. I see lots of friends, check out new bikes and mingle with my people.

This year was no exception.  I went in on Saturday and enjoyed myself.  There were some bikes I'm considering buying and seeing them in person helped me make up my mind. I've decided to get the new BWM S1000R, a rocket-ship on wheels. That's me sitting on one above.  They come in red.

The best part this year was getting the chance to talk with Superbike champion-racer Josh Hayes who was signing posters at the Yamaha pavilion.  He was alone when I recognized him so I had the opportunity to tell him how much I respect what he does.  Motorcycle racing is amazingly intense work, operating on the razor's edge of danger.  You can sense Josh's incredible physical strength which is a job-requirement.





 
 

 
 

Friday, December 12, 2014

Corporate Ally

I opened a new door today and liked what I found.

Up to now, I've experimented with party-clothes, casualwear and fun stuff.  I haven't explored work-clothes -- the type of garments a woman wears to the office.  I decided to change that.

My strongest urge is to have female experiences.  Of every kind.  Even the dull and boring ones.  So I try to imagine what I'd wear to the office if I could dress as I wish.  A pencil-skirt would be nice.  And a crisp white blouse.  And, of course, a business-appropriate jacket.

So that's what I wore.  What do you think?