Young Love

I've fallen in love twice in my life.  The first time, I was young (21).  The second time, I was older (42).  The experiences were very different.

Young love has wonderful aspects to it.  I was reminded of them tonight when I saw a 1995 film, "Before Sunrise".  The film covers the day two young people meet on a train, fall in love and spend an evening together walking around Vienna.  It stars Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  There was a sequel nine years later ("Before Sunset") and another this year ("Before Midnight"). 

When you fall in love for the first time, it's euphoric.  You feel deeper emotions than you thought possible.  At times, you feel like your very life is at stake.  Everything is new and exciting.

My first love was an artist named Maura.  She was super-intelligent and unbelievably cute.  Her bright red hair and round cherubic face were irresistible.  Also, Maura was extremely unconventional and that appealed to me.  I was looking for someone to help me escape the Procrustean conformity of my upbringing.  I needed to grow and Maura's bohemian nature expanded my knowledge in many areas.  Maura taught me about art; she taught me how to cook; she taught me about feminism.

Maura had deep-seated needs and I filled them.  We fit each other like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.  Together, we grew up in important ways.  And shared experiences that I'll remember my whole life.

When you're young and in love, you do crazy things.  At least I did.  Maura and I spent the first seven years living apart as each of us stayed in different cities for our education.  We spent a lot of time on Amtrak.  Every time I put her on a train, as it took off, I'd run alongside it and wave.  And wave.  And keep running and waving until the train pulled out of the station.  I didn't care that bystanders thought I was nuts; I was in love.  I couldn't bear separating from her and tried to savor every second of being together.

Now, three decades later, I recall those events and feelings.  With fondness.  We should engage life in all its glory and pain.  I know I did.

Did you fall in love in your youth?  What was it like?

Ahead Of My Time

I just learned from Patti's blog that Pantone has chosen the top color for next year.  They call it "Radiant Orhid".  Whatever you call it, compare this color to the background of my blog and the hue you see most often in my clothes...

Yes!  It's mine!  My favorite color has finally hit the spotlight.  Next year, everyone will look like me.  Well... not exactly, but you get the point.

Would you wear this color?

Work/Life Balance

My blog has been completely silent this week.  There's a reason for that. 

I'm conducting a trial in federal court of a $12 million dollar environmental case.  While the litigation has been going on for over a decade, I was brought in at the last moment because the lead attorney had a stroke and they asked me to take his place.  The case involves twenty years of facts, hundreds of documentary exhibits, and multiple expert witnesses.  Mastering the complexity of all that takes a tremendous amount of effort.

The federal courthouse is situated in Brooklyn which means I need to get up ridiculously early to arrive in time; rush-hour in New York is brutal.  Later, after a full day of exhausting battle, I have to go to my office for an hour or two of more work before I finally return home.  I have no time or energy to blog.

Fortunately, the trial will only last two weeks.  After it's over, I hope to restore my life to normal.  I miss blogging and reading your blogs.  That leisure-activity sustains me emotionally.  Being deprived of it is almost painful.

Do you ever work too hard?  How do you manage?

Me On A Mug!

I was hugely honored last April when Anne drew an illustration of me.  She perfectly captured the spirit and joy I find in feminine attire.  I had Anne's artwork framed and it's on my wall at home.

Browsing through Facebook, I discovered Anne put her illustration of me and several other bloggers on a coffee mug.  How cool!  I instantly snapped one up.  You can get one for yourself here.

Immortalized in art!  I'm beaming.

Alchemy and Irony

Alchemy is magical transformation, like turning lead into gold.  Irony is when what exists is the opposite of what we expect.  Today is both alchemic and ironic for me.

The alchemy occurred while creating a new outfit.  A few weeks ago, I bought a pretty orange top -- with ruffles! -- at a thrift-store.  I wasn't sure what I'd wear it with but I figured something suitable would emerge.  Then yesterday, while walking on Main Street, I saw a cute peplum floral skirt on an outdoor rack.  I used to be too embarrassed to shop for women's clothes on the street -- you can't get more public than that -- but I've gotten over such shyness.  Now, I'm proud of who I am and if a bystander has a problem with me engaging in lawful behavior, that's their problem, not mine.  Their negative opinion means nothing to me.

Anyway, alchemy!  The two pieces mesh like they were made for each other.  In fact, they could be mistaken for a dress.  I like their combination.

To emphasize the vibrant orange color of the ensemble, I surrounded it with white tights, white shoes and white jewelry.  The white directs attention to the delicious orange.

Irony?  Where is the irony, you ask?  It's here... 

Dressing up is perhaps the greatest joy in my life.  It makes me profoundly happy.  Sharing it with you guys is integral to that joy.  The irony is that the free time I have to engage in this activity (weekends) is when you guys are off doing other things.  Most bloggers post and comment during the week and disappear on weekends.  Yet that's when I'm dressing up and posting.  Oh, well... ironic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cara's Closet

I like Cara and have been following her blog for years.  What I like most about Cara is that she's a real woman.  By which I mean that she's authentic.  She is an individual with her own choices about behavior, presentation, fashion and life.  Cara doesn't conform to any societal role: she is herself.  I respect that.

When you read someone's blog for a long time, you get to know them.  With Cara, you can sense her intelligence, her strength, her uniqueness.  Those traits aren't as common as you might believe.

Some women have told me that their relationship to femininity isn't easy and has a long history.  Pushed into a prescribed role from birth, these women find femininity to be an ill-fitting suit.  For them, the choices are difficult -- rejecting conformity risks social criticism; adopting unnatural behavior feels inauthentic.  It's rough terrain to navigate. 

As someone with a lifetime of analogous struggles (publicly suppressing my attraction to femininity and displaying fake masculinity), I relate.  Boy, do I relate.

So I've often detected glimpses of Cara's difficulties in blogged descriptions of her life.  And been intrigued by them.  And sympathetic to them.

Today, Cara posted her reflections on this subject.  Her thoughts are profound and important.  And they came without any warning.  I opened my Bloglovin reader this morning and saw... my face!  And not on my blog!  I instantly knew something was up.

Cara uses me as an illustration of her point and I believe she's right on target.  Despite being the least-likely candidate for feminine presentation, I strive to achieve it with grace and poise.  In so acting, I celebrate the feminine in all of us.  That effort resonates with some women, including those who've had their own struggle with gender and presentation.  I'm extremely happy if I can give anyone else confidence and strength; that's a wonderful effect to have on the world.

Go read Cara's blog!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday.  Are you seeing family or friends?

The news is reporting bad weather around the country which is making travel difficult.  I hope you don't face that.

Many people will shop this long weekend.  I might do a little, but nothing serious.  I'm not sure why people get up early Friday to stand in line and combat crowds.  It seems unpleasant.  And I certainly don't understand why people would ruin their holiday by shopping on Thanksgiving. 

What are your shopping plans?