One of the bloggers I follow, mouse, was recently insulted on her blog by an anonymous troll. The idiot called her "obese" -- even though mouse is completely normal in size.
After stewing over it for a while, mouse responded with a post expressing her strong feelings, all of which are warranted. (Her post is here.) In it, mouse explains how, even though she knows she isn't fat, the insult still stung her and made her feel bad.
It's terrible that strangers have the power to hurt us. When they target areas we worry about (e.g., our weight, appearance or femininity), their words are potent. Of course, we should try to slough off such comments, but that's easy to say and harder to do. A moron insulted me a few months ago with a snarky comment about my feet (on a post showing off nail-polish). Even though I knew he was wrong, it still bothered me, so my sympathy for mouse's emotions is strong.
Have you ever been insulted online? How did you handle it?
It's sad that we still live in a world where "fat" works as an insult, no matter the body size of the person it's targeted at...
ReplyDeleteI've been insulted by a family member on facebook. It is why I deleted my account. There's something much more vulnerable about having other people see the hurtful things. I can handle rude comments one on one much better. But posted on a discussion board or comment forum, etc....just seems to sting a bit more.
ReplyDeleteThe person who would post comments like that is obviously jealous. Mouse is a beautiful person and even more so to have feelings that can be hurt. It's better to be the receiver of painful comments than to be the idiot spreading them around.
i'm glad you had this kind of response and it's really interesting to have this from another perspective. i could have ignored the comment and that was what i was originally planning to do but i thought it was important, i thought it could spark discussion. i'm glad it did!
ReplyDeletethat's the thing about putting yourself on the internet - trolls, people are cruel, and think hiding behind an "Anonymous" means there are no consequences. Things that people say hurt, and people need to realize it before it's too late and we all tear each
ReplyDeleteother to pieces with cruel words and slurs.
Xo Megan
I absolutely totally know the feeling. Your brain tells you to completely disregard the comment and you know deep inside it is insignificant. BUT, you get this tiny little feeling inside that just makes you feel like crap and you just can't help it no matter how hard you try.
ReplyDeleteI hate people that give me that feeling. I am a happy person by nature and I dislike people who exude negative energy and bring me down.
Good for her to voicing her opinion.
Daphne.
I think it's terrible that people use the internet to be horrible to one another because they don't have to own up to their actions. I'm not a supporter of making everyone sign everything with their real names, I do support anonymity, but I think creating positivity through anonymous means is such a better cause.
ReplyDeleteI've received a few anon/troll comments. The worst one I received was someone not under anon, who said something to the effect of "you have a pretty body, but not a cute face." It made me mad for about five seconds, then I remembered, it's my blog - marked the comment as spam and deleted the email. The longer I spent being mad about it, the worse I knew it would make me feel. There are people out there who like me for how I look, who I am. Cute body, ugly face, whatever. I like myself, some others do too. I don't expect to be pleasing to everyone. So yeah, the haters can fuck themselves, and get off my website.
I've had people tell me not so nice things on the blog but thankfully not to a point of insult.
ReplyDeleteWhen i've had comments like that, i think even though they were not what i wanted to hear they were respectful.
However I think that before I would care too much about what other people thought, now as i grow older i think that i have either gained confidence or just focused on the important stuff. I would be mad though. Nobody has that right -
It's so easy to just pass right by a page on the internet and say nothing at all. To actually be moved to make the effort to hurt someone's feelings is f'n low. I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThough they were the exception, I've had some people say some cruel things to me on my blog. I wish I had the ability to brush it off, but it really tore me up.
I handled it by just doing nothing other than deleting the comments and feeling like shit and closing off aspects of my personal life on the web. People who troll aren't interested in exchange, reason or your feelings - going toe to toe with them is wasted effort IMO.
Mouse is lovely.
I really cannot bear to see rude, offensive, mean or backhanded comments towards anyone. If I ever get any on my blog I will delete them, because I'm all about positivity. You don't have to kiss my you know what, but I just prefer to be surrounded by kind people. My feelings would definitely be hurt, even though I would know there are people out there in the world that are just like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Ally....I just wanted to make sure you knew that your comment today really made my day. Thank you. :)
I bought a T-shirt that says, "Haters make me famous." You know you have made it to the big-time when you start attracting haters. They are people who have nothing better to do than troll around online and cut down those who make them feel inferior. Well, they ARE inferior because they attack others for no reason simply on the basis that they dislike something trivial - appearance, lifestyle, hobbies, etc. If you actually know me in person and decide to hate me, fine, but don't hate me because of the me I present on my blog.
ReplyDeleteEither way, I don't put much stock into haters. There will always be those who want to spread their negativity, and that's okay -- Just keep it away from me.
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Twitter: @GlamKitten88