Friday, October 13, 2023

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th! In October, the spookiest month of the year! Are you superstitious? 

Fortunately I don't suffer from  paraskevidekatriaphobia (fear of Friday the 13th). I took a long walk this morning, crossed the busiest street on Long Island several times and rewarded my courage with a hot cup of java at a distant Starbucks. All without incident. No problems at all. I'm sure your day will go smoothly too.

While I have you, can I share something? Let me begin by saying I try to be joyful. I try to spread happiness in the world. Something was bothering me and I reflected on it during my walk. I've decided to spin the experience around, deplete it of distress and try to adopt a healthy attitude. Let me know what you think.

When facing mortal peril our emotions become super-charged. Small gestures possess heightened importance. A single kind word feels like a mountain of support. The opposite, however, is equally true.

Almost all of my friends (like you!) have offered sympathetic words during my ordeal this year. I appreciate that more deeply than you realize. Your support lifted me out of despair so dark I can't even describe its pit. Learning I have friends, hearing they care re-connected me to life. I was teetering on a cliff where all prospects were possible, including falling off.

That's the good news. 95% of my friends lived up to the label and receive huge credit and appreciation from me. 

There are, however, a few who did not offer support. The 5% who disappeared. I reached out to them seeking to include them in my journey and discovered they don't want to hear about it. Or from me.

I understand I'm an acquired taste and not everybody wants to be my friend. I accept that. But dumping me when I'm suffering seems cruel. These are people I thought were friends -- certainly I treated them as such -- so their rejection at this moment hurts. I don't know what shambolic thoughts these folks have (maybe they're afraid blindness is contagious) but their coldness felt awful.

After considering this I've just decided to let it go. I have plenty of friends willing to accept gifts I offer; I needn't worry about a few who don't. Their retreat from my life is no longer a concern.

I hope your Friday the 13th is smooth sailing. :)


  1. I'm not superstitious and hadn't actually even noticed it was Friday the 13th yesterday, possibly because I had the day off :-)
    I admire your attitude to try and be joyful, Ally, and I'm so glad the vast majority of your friends offered you sympathy and support. I really can't get my head around the fact that some people just "disappear" at the first sign of trouble. Luckily it's only a minority who did so, and yes, letting it go is the way forward. You don't need those people in your life! xxx

  2. I'm not often superstitious or particularly religious or spiritual (kindof actually a detriment in my line of work), but yesterday was ROUGH I'm afraid. But you're right, attitude has a lot to do with it. When hiccups happened, I just had to take a deep breath, remind myself to be patient and that most things are fixable.

    As for your friends, I'm glad for the 95%. You're an excellent person who is very much worth know, especially those of us who get to see more sides than some.

    But as someone who has had multiple health issues arise throughout my life, I can empathize all too well how it couples with losing friends. Breaking my arm as a teenager came with one of my few friends breaking things off.

    My current illness has shown me just how much of my life and relationships revolved around food and eating and when my options became more limited, it also drastically changed how much time friends and family want to spend with me.

    You've always got me for a friend, and I hope that 95% can say so too. And hey, more opportunities to make new friends. The world is a big big place with a lot of really cool people in it.

    1. Thanks for sharing, pal, about your experiences. And, yes, getting rid of unworthy people opens up space for better friends. Thanks for being one of them!

  3. Friday the 13th was a nothing for me - I'm not really superstitious at all!

    Aw, that sucks - we do tend to focus on that 5% negative, don't we, despite all the positivity from the other 95%. I remind myself, "it's not about me, it's about them," and try to let it go when something like that happens, but it can be hard to do that when you've thought that a person was a true-blue friend. Good for you for being able to spin that for yourself, Ally! <3

    1. Thanks, Sheila. Your thinking mirrors mine exactly.

  4. I only knew it was Fri 13th because a colleague told me. I said, "And?"
    Sorry to hear that 5% have not shown up for you, that's rubbish but it says more about them than you. But still,it hurts. Well done to you for taking it pragmatically though! I'm not so good at that!

    1. Yes it's hard to control our emotions. Honestly I didn't at first and was wounded. Only later as I nursed that wound did I realize hanging on to the pain was unhealthy. That's why I let it go.

  5. Well this is certainly disappointing to hear. It's easy to be a friend when all is going well, it's the true friends that show up when it isn't.


  6. Boo to the 5% who didn't stick by you. I guess they don't know what they're missing out on. 💜