The Real Life Of A Lawyer

I am a lawyer.  Do you know what I do?  Let me explain it to you with two stories.  The first story is a joke and the second one is true.

A college senior was exploring career options.  He heard engineering and law are good jobs so he arranged interviews with an engineer and a lawyer.

He visits the engineer and speaks to him about the field.  During the meeting, the senior asks the engineer, "How much is two plus two?"  The engineer answers without pause, "Why, four, of course."

The senior later visits a lawyer.  He asks the lawyer, "How much is two plus two?"

The lawyer studies the senior closely.  The lawyer stands up, walks over to the door and shuts it.  Then he walks over to the window and pulls the shades closed.  He returns to his desk and sits down.  Looking steadily at the senior, the lawyer leans over the desk and whispers, "How much do you want it to be?"

If you think that's an exaggeration, let me now tell you a true story that happened to me a decade ago.

I have a general civil practice and all of my cases come by referrals from satisfied clients and other lawyers.  For a while, I represented several police-officers in civil matters.  (My father and brother were cops.)

One of my police clients referred another officer to me whom I had never met.  During the first meeting, I asked the man how I could help him.  He leaned across the table and whispered, "Do you handle police disability cases?"  I said yes.

I then asked him, "Do you have a disability case?" 

He answered -- and I will never forget these words -- "Not yet..."

A few months later, I heard he injured his trigger-finger and applied for lifetime disability benefits (which, for cops, are very generous).  His application was approved so he had no need for a lawyer.  I never saw him again.