The reality is, however, that beneath my placid exterior is a boiling cauldron of extreme emotion. I have volcanic feelings that I can barely contain. The reason my exterior is so calm is because that's how I keep a lid on my inner psyche. Without that lid, my emotions might blow the roof off. Imagine the ferocity of a Janis Joplin song.
Okay, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little, but you get my point. My external appearance masks what's happening under the hood, which isn't a surprise given how I've had to suppress most of who I am most of my life.
How 'bout you? Are you the same on the outside that you are on the inside?
I guess I am? I tend not to emote much, which tends to lead people to misunderstand how I'm feeling. Which isn't often anything extreme. I am an anxious person, but talk as a defense mechanism (staying quiet, people misunderstand a whole lot more).
ReplyDeletePeople also tend to think I'm angry/unhappy. But I blame it on my "bitchface".. or "angry brows" as I call 'em. I try to smile more to make up for it, but I don't try as hard these days because I figure - It's my face, I'm cool with it.
I think overall my appearance is misleading if people don't interact with me, but when they do they see how I actually am.
I don't think anyone truly is! I can get very emotional over minor things and stay relatively calm in big troubles, so I don't really know what's the case for me. That's a funny shirt!
ReplyDeleteI am certainly not the same on the inside as on the outside. I can stay calm in some stressful situations when underneath I am a hive of activity. On the outside I am a no-nonsense sometimes confident person but on the inside it is a very different situation. Hmmmmm!!! Strange but true!!!
ReplyDeleteMost days I walk around with a smile plastered on my face, and I'm usually feeling happy on the inside too. What people don't see is that I have a million judgemental thoughts going through my mind about other people and me too. Sometimes my mind can be really mean and snarky. At least I don't say the thoughts out loud.
ReplyDeleteNo.......(period)
ReplyDeleteI try. But it not possible ALWAYS! But for the most parts I would like to believe I am!
ReplyDelete♡ from © tanvii.com
Emotion-wise? Pretty much. Otherwise? Not at all. On the outside, I'm a semi-well dressed girl with a semi-pretty face (or that's what they tell me, at least). On the inside, I'm a million different--and conflicting--people. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately...
Uauuuuu!!!!! Very vrey very, elegant!!!!! You is beautiful ....
ReplyDeleteHugs rose jp
What a sweet face you have! My face can not mask my emotions- I am terrible at poker, lying and pretty much being a person of mystery. I wish I could mask my cauldron of emotions. But the fact you've had to, makes me sad. I'm glad you're able to use it to comfort others.
ReplyDeleteI think that 99% of people are 'faking it' hoping they'll eventually 'make it'. What we show the world is seldomly what we truly are or really feeling. I think the world would be utter chaos if we did show our true emotions that are bubbling under the surface.
ReplyDeleteShy knows, you transpires that, a person totally quiet and pass it to us, but I understand their feelings....I already feel like the inside out...I myself do my fashion, and I like to use only what I like.otherwise I do not think I'd feel good about myself
ReplyDeleteI once saw an interview with a transgendered, he felt good both ways, be a man for the job and it becomes night, and you?From what I understand you do not like to be so, but why do not you switch to really like that? Or do you feel well?a day makes a post about it in writing are just curious ..
hugs rose japan
You are very calm in person. And tranquil. It made our first (I say first with hope that there will be a second..) meeting so easy for me. I felt immediately calm and relaxed.
ReplyDeleteI'm a freak on the inside and the outside. haha. Animated and strange. That's me.
xoxo,
Tracy
Persons who met me in a classroom situation might easily assume I'm an extrovert; it's a "hat" I've learned to put on professionally. My colleagues would tell you that I'm an introvert and hard to get to know. By nature, I'm a fairly shy person and inwardly very calm. I think what you are describing is "professionalism."
ReplyDeleteI have an impossible time trying to hide my emotions. It's always been disastrous when I've tried. I pretty much wear all my feelings on my sleeve. Or, my face, rather. I'll never forget when my 5th grade teacher told me I had one of the most expressive faces she'd ever seen and that I couldn't hide it to save my life if something were bothering me. She was right. People can always tell no matter how much I try to disguise it. But it doesn't feel good to me to keep my feelings stuffed in, and I think it's much healthier letting them out constructively.
ReplyDeleteHubs is a little different. I've always told him what a calming presence he is for me, how he is always collected and carries himself with confidence and can soothe me when I'm in a panic like nobody else has ever been able to do. He finally confessed one time that he is chock full of worry on the inside and can really get himself worked up sometimes but works hard to portray confidence even when he doesn't feel it. I was so surprised but glad he told me. He has a harder time expressing his emotions than I do. I just come out with it, for better or worse. It's getting easier for him, though.
I bet you will find as it gets easier and easier to live more authentically and present your true self, it will get a little easier not to suppress your emotions anymore too.
Oh, I wanted to add after reading Megan's comment, I'm the same way - if I am not smiling, I sometimes look super pissed off even when I'm fine. So I guess in that way, I'm not as "what you see is what you get" as I said. People used to constantly ask me, "What's wrong?" 100 times no matter how much I told them I was fine. My mouth kind of turns down at the corners if I'm not smiling, and I think that's why. I've realized it helps if I keep my eyebrows slightly raised, which makes my eyes appear brighter/more open, and I try to keep the corners turned up just slightly so I don't look like I'm walkin' around all pissed at the world. I smile at strangers a lot in public, and I never thought about it before, but it probably surprises them to see me break into a warm smile from looking angry. lol
ReplyDeleteI have also had people assume I was a total snob until they got to know me and realized how warm, sweet, funny, and MODEST!! - hahaha - I am. ;) One girl - in 5th grade too, actually; how ironic - told me outright that she thought I was a total snob until I befriended her. I also attribute this to the mouth corners thing.
You are very calming in person. I think it has to do with you being soft spoken and, for lack of a better word(and I know this sounds bizarre given your height) daintiness. You definitely put me at ease when we met and I didn't feel odd talking to you as openly in person as I do on the internet. But I find a lot of people with personal struggles do their best to make others feel comforted, as if hoping to spare others from their own discomfort. If that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteI don't think people get the "real" me at all. It's all conflicting. A girl once told me, "You're pretty, you should be nicer" as if the two had something to do with each other. I also am told I'm "Too pretty to curse like that." I'm always being told I'm mean and nasty. The funny thing is I ask everyone what I ever did to them and they can't give examples, they just generalize that I'm mean. It's because I get angry over what I deem "injustices" and start spouting horrible things. In reality, these over reactions are a result of being overly empathetic. If THAT makes any sense.
I'm the same way. I keep a really good poker face, and I'm a naturally quiet person, so people can never tell what I'm thinking. I've been practicing yoga for about a year now, and that's helping me to be just as calm on the inside. If you haven't tried yoga, I definitely encourage it.
ReplyDeletewww.thequirkypoet.com
That is so true... you are so calm.
ReplyDeleteIn my case it depends - depends who I am with and what is going on around me.
I get asked a lot if I am upset - but it's just my regular face -
Most of the time I am my usual self but for a while now I have just been trying to seem like I am ok.
Interesting topic! Coming from an interesting person! I'm like Ashley a lot: most people like me when we meet and describe me as a funny and good person. My feelings are pretty obvious. Remaining a child in heart and appearance takes some effort though. I believe that life is short and having to hide what you feel makes it shorter. Inside, I'm a very troubled person. I think a lot, I understand a lot and I feel a lot more than I'm showing. My mind works in a million different directions. Too many people trapped in one body!! Kisses mate!
ReplyDelete