Q&A (Across The Ocean)

Three weeks ago, in an effort to brighten the blogosphere, I suggested something done in the past with success. I offered to either interview others here or answer your questions there. It gives us a chance to know each other better, explore important subjects and expand our audiences.

One reader, Lynn from England, took up the idea and sent me questions. Good questions that address diverse topics, like transgenderism (Lynn, like me is also trans). She posted our Q&A on her blog ahd you can see it here. I recommend a visit and be sure to say hi.

Lynn's questions deserve serious consideration. I'm repeating them below for maximum visibility. If you have any follow-up, ask Lynn or me and we'll be happy to elaborate. Happy Day!

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1. If there are two or three things you wished people knew about transgender folk, what are they?

What an excellent question! 

The biggest reason fear and hate exist is because people are not familiar with us. We can improve that with education. 

Decades ago people didn't know gay people and were scared of them. When gay visibility increased, fear dissipated. Most people today don't believe they know a trans individual in real life. That lack of interaction allows fear to grow and turn into hate. Conversely, as people learn more about us, they become comfortable.

When talking to someone who's never met a trans person before I try to convey two thoughts: that transgenderism is innate and immutable. We know from earliest childhood that we are this way and we know it won't change. Being transgender isn't a choice and can't be wished away. I deploy an analogy to describe this: I say my awareness that I'm female is known "the same way you know you're human and not a dog." Our identity is truth at the core of our being. I follow this by explaining our condition is permanent, can't be "cured" with therapy or drugs, and exists whether we socially transition or not.

2. If you could change something about the world, what would that be and why? 

I'd want empathy to be encouraged and more prevalent. Empathy leads to understanding and compassion. All who are different benefit when others develop empathy for our situation. Lack of empathy causes mistrust.

3. If you had to go back in time to any part of your life, when might that be and why?

I've lived a long time: I'm currently halfway through my sixth decade. Without doubt the best period of my life was my fifties when I possessed both wisdom and physical vigor. During that decade I expressed my inner femininity fully, pursued adventures of all kinds, and created a blog to record my experiences and explore female life. 

If you aren't 50 yet, look forward to that decade as a time for ineffable joy.

4. How has being a biker affected your view of other road users? 

Riding a motorcycle you realize, viscerally, how vulnerable you are. To stay alive, you focus on the behavior of others sharing the road and observe much reckless conduct. It is irresponsible, but common, for people to pilot 3,000 lb. hunks of metal at high speeds with too little margin for error. Usually they realize this only too late after having caused accidents. 

I was almost killed once when a young man, speeding in an adjacent lane, suddenly realized he was going to crash into the car in front of him. To avoid a collision he swerved into my lane without looking. I happened to be there at the time and was knocked off my bike. I laid on cold concrete with a collapsed lung and four broken ribs. I couldn't breathe. I understood, with grave certainty, that if I didn't start breathing soon my life was over. The accident did not have to happen: there were just foolish choices by an unskilled driver.

5. Just for fun: would you rather have a gadget that cleaned & tidied your house, or one that could make you any meal you liked? 

Easy: the former. I love to cook, finding it creative and fun. I'd never give that up. I get little pleasure from cleaning so will gladly pass that chore off to machinery.