Sunday, December 30, 2012

My New Year's Resolutions

Most New Year's resolutions fail because people don't really want to do them.  Losing weight, exercising more and similar goals are abandoned if you lack enthusiasm.  To achieve a goal, you need to want to reach for it.

With that in mind, I have three resolutions which I'm eager to accomplish.  Calling them resolutions helps me focus and make sure I pursue them with appropriate vigor.

First, I want to learn about vintage clothing and incorporate retro-styles into my wardrobe.  I've been browsing vintage blogs and am impressed by the knowledge and interesting content there.  Vintage clothes encompass social history, the changing circumstances of women and evolving fashion, all subjects that fascinate me.  Plus, I get to wear new styles that are artistically pleasing and creative.  This week, I took two baby steps in this direction which will be revealed soon and I look forward to traveling further into the vintage clothing world.

Second, I want to meet more of you in person.  Every blogger-meetup I've had was rewarding in its way.  We learn so much about each other when meeting in person that you simply can't get online.  Like how someone talks, how considerate they are, how they behave.  In addition, friendships get deeper when you share meals and serious discussion.  That's a great thing.

Finally, there's a third resolution which I'm unsure if and how I'll achieve.  It's of vital importance to me, however.  I want to find a way to socially be with people as myself: i.e., in authentic female mode.  I want to find a way to be able to attend social situations dressed in feminine clothes.  I was able to do this twice -- first, at a wonderful party thrown by my friends Nicole and Jamie and, second, at a Halloween party, also attended by those two and others.  I yearn, strongly, for more opportunities like those.

I learned from those experiences that presenting as female in social situations is very comfortable for me and deeply fulfilling.  My anticipation disappeared instantly when I realized I can just be myself.  I feel more relaxed doing that than standing in male clothes with masculine body-posture.

I've struggled with ideas on how to create social situations that would allow me to do this; so far, I haven't come up with any.  All I really need is a supportive friend who'd let me dress up for a private tea party, but that's not as easy to find as one might guess.

Anyway, those are my goals.  What are your goals for 2013?

32 comments:

  1. I have some goals to be more loose and less rigid on myself. I'd like to be more carefree in some areas so I guess letting go is my continual goal.

    Have you ever thought of starting a "meet-up" social group in your area? Or maybe there already is one that would be perfect for you. They have those here in the Seattle area under just about any subject or common interest you can think of.
    Under the web site "MeetUp.com" you can browse what those clubs may look like. Just a suggestion though they may be more party oriented, but that's not necessarily always the case. It could be so much fun though. I joined a scooter club years ago and totally relived my youth that way and met lots of like minded folks.
    You look great in Yellow by the way. Is that a new wig?? It's very sultry!

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    1. I have two wigs that I wear. (Actually, I own 11 wigs but these are the only two that look good.) The one pictured is my long blonde wig. The other is shorter and brown-colored in a more casual style.

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  2. great goals....at least you have more of an opportunity to meet up with other bloggers there. not too many (that i know) here.

    i have to think about next year's resolutions. but i liked keeping track of them on the blog as i did this year.

    [oomph.]

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  3. I really like that your resolutions are things you'll enjoy achieving. Resolutions don't have to be difficult hurdles to cross - no wonder they fail! - and I'm actually taking the same approach withy own resolutions next year. I also plan on keeping track of my resolutions on my blog to make sure I stay on track. Best of luck achieving your desires in 2013!

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  4. Love the hair and the outfit. As to goals for the new year, I think I'll spend some time today planning. I'm not good with follow through. Maybe that should be one of my goals. And I hope hour New Year's is super.

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  5. I love your outfit, Ally! Beautiful colours, shapes, and textures, wonderfully balanced.

    You're totally on to something with your focus on desire and enthusiasm. I'm excited to see the results of your vintage style exploration, and to hear about your adventures and progress. Happy 2013!

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  6. You could always make a road trip west... :)

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  7. Wonderful goals my friend! May I recommend Salvaged Strawberry's blog to you if you haven't read her before? She has amazing vintage style and her own Etsy shop - www.salvagedstrawberry.blogspot.com My other favorite is Katie - Butterfly Loves Snapdragons http://butterflylovessnapdragons.blogspot.com She is super cute and very stylish with vintage looks.

    And if you find your way to Minnesota or by some miracle I get out to New York, you'd better believe we're meeting up.

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  8. Those are wonderful resolutions. Is there a particular vintage style or time period you're drawn to? I agree with Joni that meetup.com is worth a try. There are groups for everything imaginable.

    My 2013 resolution is to be more focused on what makes me happy. I felt a little scattered last year, but I feel like I'm getting much more clear about what I want.

    Happy new year! :)

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    1. The 1950's. Probably influenced by seeing the women of my mother's generation growing up.

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  9. What great resolutions Ally, I really hope that by the end of 2013 we will be reading all about how you have achieved them. I wish I could help with two and three... but I'm a tad far away really here in Lincoln UK. I have to say I find it such a shame that people struggle to find acceptance even amongst friends - I wish you lots of happiness in the coming year. My resolutions for 2013 are also about being true to myself, I think I need to be myself and look after myself more.

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  10. I think you have excellent goals! I particularly admire your desire to present your true self in public more. When my friend transitioned, he just ripped the bandaid, so to speak. He got a new job, where no one knew his history, and just presented as male 24/7. It helped that his friends were supportive, and his less-supportive family members were far away. I realize that switching jobs might not be feasible for you, but what about introducing yourself to new social situations? Going somewhere that you're sure you won't run into anyone who knows you as male, like a bar or restaurant in a different part of town? It might seem intimidating or nerve-wracking at first, but once you get out there, it's a whole other story :)

    (By the way, Matt and I want to come visit a friend in NYC relatively soon. When that happens, I'd love to meet up! And I might insist on feminine attire :P haha)

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    1. Please let me know when you're in town!

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  11. Wonderful Goals!! I'm planning to add more retro style this year!!
    Love your outfit and the blonde hair!!!

    If you are ever near DC I'd love to meet up with you!! We could go thrift shopping!

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  12. I love your goals, and if I may, I'd recommend a book for you: "Vintage Style" by Sarah Kennedy (Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Vintage-Style-Sarah-Kennedy/dp/1847327761). It looks at specific fashion icons, and analyzes their look, from the hair to the make-up to the fabrics and colours - and what to look for when vintage shopping.

    It really helped me understand more about vintage looks - and it's full of gorgeous glossy photos.

    For me, my resolutions...not quite sure just yet.

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  13. I hope to meet you sometime, Ally! It's been my hope to meet more bloggers. And hopefully to see Lynne again too. We had such a good time.

    As for meet-ups, how about going for coffee dressed up? Just pick one thing to do, and go out like normal. Just a little thing once a week. I know the anxiety is there, but it's not like somebody is going to call you out. I mean, how rude would that be!

    I agree with Joni, try looking into events to go to. Find a supportive girlfriend or two, and go out to an art gallery.



    My resolutions for 2013 involve not shopping as much, graduating, getting a tattoo, cook more, enjoy what I have, and not what I think I want.

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  14. Hey! You know where I live! If you're ever in the area, we should grab coffee. (Or I could meet you in NY- not that far of a train ride for me!)

    I hope you get to meet your goals this year. And I'd love to meet you.

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    1. Me, too, buddy. We're not that far away.

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  15. These are some great resolutions! Vintage clothing is so much fun - I don't wear a ton of it, but I love to look at it and read about it - that's part of why I love Mad Men so much.

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    1. That show certainly lit a fire under my interest in vintage!

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  16. I dance hula in SF, and there's a transgender student in my class (male to female). I was thinking about it the other day, and I realized that classes such as my class are probably the best places to start presenting as female in public. In hula classes, both men and women dance together and the emphasis of all moves is on the hips (which is a more feminine part of the body in almost all cultures). I've heard there aren't many hula classes out there in NY, but maybe you can think of a similar type of class to join? Something small, relaxed, where most of the attention is on the subject at hand, where both men and women are welcome, and you meet on a regular basis? (We meet weekly) I dunno, just an idea! Good luck, Ally! Hope you have a great 2013 :)

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    1. What a great idea, Jennie! Thank you. And Happy New Year.

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  17. Excellent list of goals. I agree that the third one is the most challenging in all likelihood, but feel that each of them is very much something that's able to be achieved, and your passion to do so shines through as you describe each.

    Now, these are just "off the top of my head" ideas (you may have had them all yourself and/or hate all them - no worries in either case, just brainstorming here), but perhaps a few public settings where you might feel more comfortable dressing in female mode would be:

    -Concerts and/or other performances with large crowds (in which you're less like to "stick out", if that's a concern).

    -Fashion shows hosted by local stores, designers, organizations, etc.

    -Communal/party clothing swaps.

    -Clubs and bars (though, believe me, I totally understand if they're not your cup of tea, I've never been a club goer myself).

    -Art gallery shows/openings.

    -Farmer's markets and/or other outdoor markets/fairs.


    I'll keep the ol' gears turning and let you know if I come up with others anytime soon. I've always been a passionate believer in dressing how one truly wants to, and encourage you to sport "female mode" in public whenever you want, if doing so brings you happiness. Life is simply too short not to dress the way that makes you the most joyful as often as possible!

    Happiest New Year's countdown, my friend,
    ♥ Jessica

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    1. Thank you, Jessica. I appreciate your help.

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  18. I'm glad to see your resolution #3 in particular; I think it's so important to go out into society and present as yourself. I'll probably be stopping by NYC this year too, so I hope we can meet up again!

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  19. great & inspiring goals! :) I enjoyed very much reading it!

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  20. I would like to point out that you want to visit more bloggers in person, and I want to finish my guest bedroom. Coincidence?

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    1. Ha! You're first on my list, Sara. I want to pet Louie, see how tall Kyle is and tell you how much I like you.

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  21. Hi Shybiker. Thanks so much for sharing your resolutions with us! I have quite a few, but most of them are not fashion-related. I wish I had more advice for you on your final resolution. Where do you live? Some communities are more open-minded than others.

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    1. I live on Long Island, a suburb of New York City.

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  22. Yay, for getting an interest in vintage clothing :)
    I bet you will do amazing exploring, it's fun and hope all your other goals come to term!

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  23. We will have a private tea party and/or go anywhere you like in Ally-mode next time I see you! Or we could organize a blogger meetup at cool destination where you could simply be Ally the whole time, with as many of our lovely friends as can come.

    Can't wait to see your vintage clothes adventures. I love them, too, and am exploring the possibility of sewing a few things because it's hard to find them 'round here. Etsy also has some amazing seamstresses who will take your measurements and make custom vintage dresses. My daughter will be doing that soon.

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