Sam's mother posted a picture on Facebook and family members immediately started condemning Sam for wearing the shoes and criticizing his mother for letting him. Family members said it is "wrong" for a boy to wear pink shoes and that "things like this will affect him socially." The mother's aunt chimed in with the canard, "that shit will turn him gay."
The story is here.
What's your view?
Kids do crazy things. I still have pictures of my brother in the early 90s wearing hot pink spandex shorts with an oversized turquoise sleeveless shirt. I guarantee my brother is neither gay nor ashamed over those old clothes. We spent one Christmas going through old pictures reminiscing. Even putting a few up on facebook.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin cut her hair into a pixie cut in elementary school. It looked REALLY cute, but her peers bullied her, calling her gay and a dyke. Ages where kids are barely aware of their genders, except as it pertains to "cooties" - it was a damn shame, especially since many girls in my high school were chopping their locks into short boyish cuts around the same time.
I don't think what we adorn our bodies with defines our sexuality. Gender identification is not the same as sexual preference. Colors should not be gendered, much less assigned sexual preferences.
I'm fortunately mostly surrounded by open-minded and progressive people and sometimes forget there are still people out there with blinders on who can't keep their outdated opinions to themselves. Like Megan said, kids can be so mean. And not to excuse that by any stretch, but at least they're kids. In this story, it's the ADULTS acting like bullying children. Shame.
ReplyDeleteMy nephews loved pink when they were little. And why wouldn't they? It's a pretty color. Happily, my sisters' didn't freak out about it.
ReplyDeleteBut, as the kids got older and ventured outside the home, they received gender socialization lesson from their peers and now their favorite colors are gray and brown. And it's sad because those aren't pretty colors. Sure, they're serviceable, but you shouldn't be forced to give up the pretty just because of your gender.
Sounds like this boy's family could learn a lesson from this father
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2195876/Nils-Pickert-German-father-wears-womens-clothing-solidarity-cross-dressing-year-old-son.html
Bullying will happen no matter what he's wearing and kids can't be protected against everything. If he learns to stand up for what he believes in now, he'll be a stronger person for it as he grows up. He looks pretty happy in his shoes! I love that he says ninjas wear pink shoes too.
If a boy wants to wear pink shoes, let him. He said he liked them. I would never tell my daughters not wear "menswear" or boy tennis shoes or whatever. Good for the mom.
ReplyDeleteCalling bullshit on those people! It's the pink ghetto- only women can appreciate pink? No way, Jose! I say let him follow his personal love for color- and who gives a fuck how he turns out in his sexual orientation. He'll be awesome no matter what.
ReplyDeleteMy Boys Wear Pink, Leopard and Ladies Shoes - I don't care, nor does my husband.
ReplyDeleteXo Megan, www.TfDiaries.com
Personally I think it's flat out absurd that we're still viewing colours as being gender specific in this day and age (and/or indicative of a person's sexual orientation). This sweet young boy has every right in the world to wear whatever colours makes him happy, and to be left in peace by those around him when he does. Heck, I think I'd be extra happy if my son wanted to wear pink - how cool would it be to have a child that shared the same favourite hue as his mother?
ReplyDelete♥ Jessica
*PS* Historically, it was not uncommon at all for little boys to wear pink (as this article from The Straight Dope delves into: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2831/was-pink-originally-the-color-for-boys-and-blue-for-girls).
It's very sad those things happen here and there. Pink is for girls and girls are often pushed to wear pink even if they don't like it. People are afraid of being different. Afraid of gay people when it comes to their family. I don't understand why personally but I see it everywhere. If the boy wants pink shoes let him wear pink shoes. if he wants - grey let it be grey.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad how kids are forced to pick up the society norms ;P. Kids should be grown up to know moral and ethics more than some stupid norms and categories.
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy. When I was just a baby, my hair grew super slow so people often mistook me for a boy. My mum also dressed me in all colours, boy or girly colours.
ReplyDeleteOnce I was dressed in blue, and a woman (a total stranger) told my mum off about it! So after that she tried to dress me in more "normal" colours.
You know what is really interesting? Originally blue was meant for girls as it was a softer colour, and pink was actually for men as it was considered a strong, bold colour! It only changed after the war when the Nazis used pink to mark homosexuals.. ok I'm really getting into a history lesson now, but I find it really interesting how it has changed!
Anyway, 'ninjas can wear pink shoes too.' Love this. ;-)
Fashion Burger
Ugh, the viciousness of the gender-binary policing and judgement, layers of fear / insecurity and othering, just ugh. Adorable photo and awesome kid tho.
ReplyDeleteLots of good comments before me and I agree with everything written. I think Amber hit it spot on though when she mentioned insecurity. I don't know how to fix this disease (was going to call it a problem, but wanted something stronger) but I wish it would go away within my lifetime. The reality is that I don't believe it will. All we can do is teach the ones around us to do better. After all, we are only as wise as our teachers/role models.
ReplyDeletePardon my French, but those responses are fucked up.
ReplyDeleteMy family is ultra conservative. My teenage cousin is almost certainly gay. We've known it for years; as a child, he liked to be the Pink Power Ranger during games and he used super powers like "Tinker Bell power." My other cousins spent years trying to "toughen him up" and make him "more like a boy." It broke my heart. This does, too.
Yes to Amber's comment. Hopefully the world is changing and freedom will assert itself for the benefit of all.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a hot button issue and it's like, you know what, it's a stupid color. Why oh why have we SO gender divided colors? I heard a story on the news this morning too that someone wants them to make Easy Bake Ovens in more "boy friendly colors" which ok, I understand not every boy would want a pink Easy Bake Oven, but at the same time, why does it matter so much?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have no answers really, but I say if the kid wants to wear pink shoes, let him.
Look at that smile! He's happy! Why should the color of his shoes matter? Peeps can be so...so...odd about their priorities - and way overly nosy and critical about others.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cutie Sam is!!! What is the big freaking deal?? So he's wearing pink shoes.
ReplyDeleteI was a tomboy as a kid. I wore boys sneakers. Whoop de do!
The Earth won't stop revolving!
It bothers me that so many people get upset over a child's shoe choice yet we are light years away from equal rights for women (and a whole host of other things...)and they never think to question that.
ReplyDeleteHe is just a boy that liked pink shoes.
ReplyDeletePeople over react.
Women did not wear pants before, now they do.
Sad, isn't it to ruin someone else's joy? I only hope to see the day when things like this are no longer an issue. I don't hold out much hope though.
ReplyDeleteSadly, neither do I. I've waited a half-century for social attitudes to improve on gender-identity and they haven't.
DeleteSad, sad, sad ... how on earth could a fun pair of shoes cause a little person to be gay??!! People should be more accepting and encourage each other to explore the world ~ I've never heard that if a girl wears blue that would make her gay!!! Go figure.
ReplyDeleteThese people are seriously overreacting. That is all
ReplyDelete