Friday, July 8, 2011

Female Life



You need to explain something to me.  On the subject of bathing suits. 

I thought that shopping for a bathing suit, like shopping for any clothes, is a happy experience.  But I read a scientific study that said the vast majority of women get depressed when shopping for bathing suits.  My only guess on why that might be is perhaps the experience forces women to confront issues and negative feelings they have about their bodies.  Is that it?  Or is it something else?

How Do You Feel Shopping For A Bathing Suit?

45 comments:

  1. I don't feel bad ... but I do wish I would look like the models in one .. which of course I don't. I guess you are right ... women have unrealistic expectations out of themselves which makes them depressed while shopping for a bathing suit!

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think shopping for a bathing suit just points out your reality.
    You are in the dressing room accepting it all.
    At least that's the way I feel about it, i see that flaws are accentuated: paleness, cellulite, being overweight, sagginess...
    I also feel that wearing a bathing suit makes me more vulnerable.
    Maybe it's the reason I wear one only once or twice a year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you can shop for a swim suit with special lighting and after throwing a few cocktails back, then it is an enjoyable experience!
    brett

    ReplyDelete
  4. I REFUSE to wear bathing suits for that reason. It is depressing. It is like being naked and completely putting yourself out there for everyone to judge. Sorry so grim lol. I think that women who are brave enough to wear a bathing suit are Fabulous and courageous!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I got fed up today just looking at them online! To be honest it depends who I'll be with when I'm wearing it - for the record, I couldn't bear to wear a bikini - if it was with a load of girls I probably wouldn't mind as much. Did you see my/Millie's post on holiday attire? The article I based it on said that women felt less self-conscious when they were actually on holiday, despite the fact they were showing more of their bodies than usual. Apparently fake tan and the mass near-nakedness make the whole prospect less scary... let me know if you want me to forward the article to you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I only order swimsuits online now. The fact is that I really don't need one. I never go to the beach. And I rarely go swimming anywhere.

    But in August, I will be spending a week on the Outer Banks in North Carolina with my family. So, I ordered 2 one piece suits and 2 bikinis. I have no idea if I'll wear any of them. But it was fun buying them. And not at all depressing.

    xoxo,
    Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's frustrating. How is it that I can find lingerie that makes me feel like a goddess - sexy and fabulous - but I can rarely find bathing suits that make me feel the same way, even though they're similar in shape. It's so weird.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You hit the nail on the head for me. When I wear clothes I feel like I can camouflage or reveal what I choose. In a swimsuit, my thighs, probably the part of my body I'm most uncomfortable about, are on full display. No typical swimsuit can hide those babies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is it!!!
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
  10. You have to get so undressed to try anything on. It's either hot, or cold enough that you have a lot of layers on, which you'll have to pile on and off in every shop. You can't try it all on PROPERLY, because it's unhygienic - so you can't see exactly how it'll look. You have to do any trying on in unnatural light. The bottoms are so high-cut almost everywhere you look for beachwear, and styles are much of a muchness. Cheap examples aren't built for support, but beachwear is where you're 'supposed' to look your most fabulous and effortless. In a changing room, it's easy to forget that everyone ELSE will be just as naked and revealed, when you actually get around to wearing it all.

    It is a peeving exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm in my early twenties and the media has thrown thousands of images of i guess what I'm *supposed* to look like in a bathing suit.
    I look nothing like that. I think that's what depresses most women about it - this (for most of us) unobtainable image that we see sprawled accross the lasted issue of US weekly of actresses and models frolicking on the beach.

    I WILL say though that I am loving a LOT of the styles that have been coming out as of late. The 50's silhouette is SO much more flattering for women who actually have a little T&A. They ruche in all the right spots and cover a little more... whoever thought the bikini was such a genius idea was seriously dillusional.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Last time I cried, and came home with nothing. If that tells ya anything.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Heh, interesting question. I know the stereotypical image is that swimsuit shopping makes women face their mostly-naked body in a mirror and attempt to find a suit that magically makes that body look like a model's or a movie star's...though actually, I was just trying to find a new swimsuit a few weeks ago and didn't have that experience. For me, it now seems to be just frustration with suits not fitting me well/properly/as they're supposed to/in a manner that doesn't reveal a ridiculous amount more skin than I'm comfortable with. (Potentially because cheap off-the-shelf bikinis appear to be sized for model-like figures...I suspect I'm going to have to do some looking online to find anything.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Shopping for a bathing suit has gotten much better since the invention of the tankini. The tankini is a bikini bottom with a long tank top top. They are great for both short waisted and long waisted women who never fit right into average torso length one pieces, but they give more modesty/coverage than bikini. The are great if your bum is a larger size than your bust, or vice versa. You can buy a medium top and a large bottom, you can buy a modest top to flatter and support your chest and a skimpy bottom to show off your great legs (or whatever figure flattery goals you have).

    But that gives rise to a new frustration. Since you are piecing together tops and bottoms in the store, it is very hard to find matching sets in your size(s) sometimes. I have had experiences of flipping frantically through the entire bathing suit sections looking for two pieces in my size that match and are a flattering color/pattern/cut!

    Women already have dozens of pairs of shirts and pants and at least one serviceable little black dress, if they leave the store without finding a new shirt, new pants, or whatever, they still have some clothes at home. But swimsuits, you only buy one every few years, if you don't find one, you won't have one. It puts you on a bit of a time crunch especially if you have swim event coming up soon.

    Now I try to find a new suit every year, so that I will have a few different options at home. That way it is never urgent to get a new suit. Its good to have three suits at a time. A sexy one for dips with your lover, A modest one for family events or work events, and something just fun and flirty for parties and the beach.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think it depends on how comfortable you are with your body. A lot of women tend to hide their body in their clothes - they ignore it and pretend that it is a different size and shape than it actually is. Putting on a formfitting swimsuit forces you to take a more realistic look at your body, and this is painful for a lot of women. Also, many swimsuits provide little support for the breasts, which make them even more unflattering.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I second Claire's comments above--you have to try the damn thing on over your undies! You only get a close approximation of how it might look in broad daylight.

    ReplyDelete
  17. *shudders* *vomits*

    Shopping for normal bathing suits, and wearing them out in public, is an exercise in horror for me. Those magazines that claim they have a flattering suit for every figure piss me off!

    They never show anything that would cover my fat, shapeless, cottage-cheesy legs. And it's not just because I'm overweight- it was a problem even when I was normal weight. I saw some bathing pants online marketed to Muslim women, which I would buy if I could try them on in a store to make sure the thighs are cut big enough.

    Anyway, I've switched to tankini tops paired with men's board shorts over ten years ago... and haven't looked back! I can concentrate on what I'm doing rather than worry about body parts popping out.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Eh. It used to bother me. I also used to be a lot unhealthier. As I've gotten older, I've found out what types of swimming suits work for me. So it really narrows down my options before i even start, and I don't have to suffer through the types that look horrible on me. And even if I don't look the absolute way I want to in any particular bathing suit, I can at least use it as inspiration to get fit and fit into it! Hehehehe.

    P.S. In regards to your recent comments: I recently hit a rough patch with el boyfriend and I'm seriously wondering if it's why I look somber in my pictures all of a sudden. Must be a subconscious thing. Eek!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't hate it. Enjoy it a lot more if I am shopping while I am tanned. Suits always look better against a tanned body. But yes as the first commenter wrote even if it looks OK, it never looks like it does on models and we all secretly wish to have their bodies (but probably not their lives at least not me).
    I think as our bodies change we have to change the cut and style of the swim suits to minimize the disappointment. I used to only wear bikinis and enjoyed simple triangle cuts with no padding. Fast forward 4 years, 2 surgeries, 2 years of breastfeeding and pumping, I know look for monokinis (to hid the scar) and lots of padding on top! :)
    Daphne.
    http://fashiondivamommy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hmm, maybe I'm in the minority, then? I actually LOVE bathing suits. I don't get to wear them often where I live (no great beaches or pools), so it kind of feels like a treat to me.

    ReplyDelete
  21. for me shopping for a bathing suit makes me self conscious. only once in my life did i ever somewhat like how i looked in a bikini (right before my first daughter was born) and it's so hard now knowing i'm not even near that. i think it frustrates me and kinda makes me depressed though i know i should just be happy because i have these two lovely girls even though my body is no longer the way it used to be!

    spinning-threads.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. bathing suits aren't fun. BUT, I like to remind myself that "I'm not the only non-model out there" and I try to focus on just having fun. It's not like I'm hanging out at the mall in my bathing suit -- I'm at the beach or pool! I'm there to be active, enjoy the sun, and have some fun. There's a purpose to the clothing, I suppose, and being beautiful or sexy isn't the main purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh yes, it's all this horrible body image bogus we are subjected to from an early age! At this point in my life I don't have any trouble shopping for bathing suits (and even though I don't like the thought, this may have to do with the fact that - length of legs aside - my body closely meets that stupid social standard of beauty) and I have a bunch that don't need replacement anytime soon. But I remember that buying my first bra was a traumatic experience... for both me and my mother who took me shopping. I was afraid of buying anything that looked "slutty" (gwah!), I didn't, of course, know my size, and I didn't even really want a bra because I was terrified of growing up and being perceived as a sexual being by others. So much wrong there!

    ReplyDelete
  24. A lot of it has to do with the pressure to conform to normative gendered body standards that the media portrays through advertising, movies, and television shows. While I personally don't feel bad about shopping for bathing suits, the "ideal" woman is seen as relatively thin and overly sexualized. But I do think it has taken me several years to reach a place where I am happy with my body as a size 10 and not a size 4. (and maybe also being a gender studies major in college and graduate school :-)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I just don't like shopping for them because it's hard to find one that fits really good. I have to feel comfortable in it and it just has to fit perfect. Which can be quite hard because of my bodyshape. But when I found one that fits perfect I love to wear it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's because women have body-image issues especially when younger. All of us. Period. Too many absolutely unnecessary stupid women magazines and tv maybe? But we're all over that now, aren't we??? Kisses :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. P.S./ And - oh - the hidden terror: cellulite!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. oh boy! well-- I dont hate it as much as I used to. The challenge is finding a set of bottoms that suit my body type and a top to match. If the bathing suit is sold as an top and bottom it makes it hard to find the perfect one where both top and bottom are flattering. Its great when there are a range of bottoms and a range of tops that you can mix and match (buy as separates but are in the same pattern/color). Its finding the right fit that is the tricky part for me!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I've just recently become more comfortable in my own skin (except my pale colour hence the spray on tans!) and since I've started working out, I've noticed a change in my body for the better. I'm actually excited to go bathing suit shopping for my upcoming vacay!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm not sure if I dislike shopping for swimsuits, but I do have a hard time finding ones that fit. For two pieces, I can always find a bottom that fits, but the top is a different story. I find most tops to be too big for my non-voluptuousness on top.

    ReplyDelete
  31. yeah, ugh. I do feel I've mostly made peace with my body, so it's not so bad anymore, but it is always an unwelcome reminder that not everything looks good on me.
    I went to the beach last week and did topless for the first time, incidentally (pretty normal around here). I might be a convert; I felt like a little kid again in the waves! Somehow I feel like the extra layer of nudity on the beaches here makes me feel a bit better about myself. I feel like with bathing suits the problem is that, like clothes, it's all about trying to make your body look perfect, but there's so much less to work with. If you're actually almost naked, well, that's you, end of story. ; )

    ReplyDelete
  32. I personally like swimwear shopping but then im perfectly happy with my body shape but i knw that it causes upset 4 a lot of women xx

    ReplyDelete
  33. I think I used to hate seeing my body so exposed - because my body was not something I had really come to terms with. Now I am pretty at ease with it, but I find it SO difficult to find something that fits right. It is like trying to buy jeans - they need to hug you in all the right places, which leaves a lot of room for awkward fit.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I think women get depressed because bathing suits expose so much. I am fine once I get to the beach but in that dressing room I feel awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I don't hate it, I love it! It means I'm going on my travels which is when I'm happiest. x

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't understand what the owners of most stores are thinking haha. I think every dressing room I've been in where I tried on a bathing suit had some sort of florescent monster lights. So even if you are in shape, it's a scary experience haha. They seriously need to get some dim sexy lights because then people would be more likely to think they looked awesome and the store would have more business!

    However, that's not really the issue with me. I HATE buying bathing suits because they are so so overpriced! It's over 100 dollars for the top and the bottom usually... and there's no fabric involved. I'd rather buy a dress that I can wear all year round.

    ReplyDelete
  37. That's definitely the reason. Trying on a bathing and staring in the mirror witnessing every inch of your body can be overwhelming. I've had the same bathing suits for years because I hate shopping for them.

    ReplyDelete
  38. The lighting is always bad, and yes, you have to confront the reality that oh my god, this is what my body really looks like. It's the most exposed thing women wear - there's no way to really hide.

    Two years ago, I bought my first bathing suit in nearly 20 years. It was not as bad as I'd feared!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I would just like to jump in and note that I think your location also has a lot to do with your level of comfort and satisfaction in bathing suit shopping. Living on the Jersey shore means we're all at the beach, all the time. So there's an abundance of choices and everyone else is exposed as well, which makes the whole thing less frightening. But for the record I like my body and putting it in a bathing suit is NBD. :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I think most women buy bathing suits either before Spring Break or before Summer, when they're still trying to lose the extra winter weight most people put on. This is precisely why I haven't bought a new bathing suit in 3 years.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yes - bathing suit shopping is absolute misery if you have a poor body image - in fact clothes shopping is misery if you have a poor body image...I have kind of got over my poor body image (losing some excess weight helped a bit), but there are still some things like bathing suits or jeans that are not pleasurable...

    ReplyDelete
  43. I hate shopping for bathing suits because usually when I do it's before I'm heading somewhere sunny and warm. That means I'm still deathly pale, and (sorry for over-sharing) haven't yet done my bikini waxing. So no matter what, the suits are going to look terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I still can't believe I'm saying this...but I LOVE bathing suit shopping!! Definitely wasn't always the case. Not until probably a couple years ago. First, I started off by focusing more on just enjoying being at the beach or pool instead of thinking about how I looked. It took some practice. :) But I'd rather be able to enjoy those things than stay home because I worried about my appearance. Life's too short, for God's sake. Then, at some point as my confidence in myself (my inner self) grew, so did my confidence about my appearance...because suddenly I looked at myself in a new way. I stopped measuring myself against how other people looked. I started just appreciating MY body because it's mine. Bathing suit shopping became akin to clothes shopping - trying out different cuts and styles. I have scads of suits now. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm even more eager to don a suit. lol I tried on all my suits the other night to see what still fits during my pregnancy and totally enjoyed the view. hehe I won't lie and say that if I see some model material girl walking down the beach, I won't catch myself sulking a teensy bit...but then I realize what I'm doing, give myself a mental slap, and go back to appreciating my own, unique bod.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Not as depressing as jeans shopping. Ugh. Bathing suit shopping is the worst because bathing suit material is the worst. It just pulls in every place it shouldn't which leads to cellulite that might otherwise not be visible becomes highlighted. UGHHHH! Though, like I said, jeans shopping throws me into a days long depression about my legs. I own two pairs of pants because its not worth it. I'll just wear a dress.

    ReplyDelete