I started blogging to stoke an ember of my long-suppressed gender-identity. I doubted there'd be anyone interested or willing to listen, but I was wrong. You responded with warmth and encouragement from the outset.
After finding an audience of friendly people, I began sharing my life with you and I really enjoy that. I blog to continue the conversation we are having. I adore your input. Your comments are sincere, thoughtful and supportive. I learn and learn from you guys on innumerable topics. At times, I feel that this is YOUR blog and I'm merely moderating it.
When I look at other blogs, I often see that they have larger audiences but their readers are less engaged. Many blogs have more followers than this one, but they lack the intensity of participation that goes on here. Comments on those blogs are often shallower and less personal than the responses you guys leave. I'm not sure what I do to promote the serious, honest and lengthy comments you give, but I certainly enjoy them and I believe other readers do as well. When you guys comment on each other's comments, I smile and feel this blog has achieved something good.
Does this make sense to you? Why do you think people are so open and personal here?
I love blogging because of the people I meet, I like sharing my life with people who are actually interested, it's an outlet for my creativity, I love PR and social networking, I love fashion ... The reasons are endless.
ReplyDeleteEverything that you said makes total sense. People are honest because there is no face-to-face judgment. There are no labels or pre-conceived notions. Nobody can see you. Nobody knows you or your reputation. You could be the biggest nerd in the world but could put up the best front online so you look cool. Nobody would know the difference.
The power of the internet.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
First up, just let me say how great that picture is! I love the simple white dress, and the fact that you paired it with the bold, chunky necklace is brilliant -- the red color near your face is very flattering to your skin tone.
ReplyDeleteI think people connect with your blog because you share so many deeply personal aspects of your life with us. You come across as vulnerable and perhaps in need of encouragement and support, and giving these things to our girlfriends is something many women really excel at. You bring out the best part of our nature!
On my own blog I mainly talk about the construction of my outfits, and so the comments tend to focus on that. But when I open up about something personal, being child-free for instance, the personal comments pour out. I think it's human nature to want to connect with other people on a personal level.
Hi Ally! I just recently found your blog and I thoroughly enjoy it! I like how you ask questions at the end of each entry. Mostly, I feel like I can relate to your journey with gender-identity. As a female engineer, I walk the line between genders. I'm definitely NOT a "girl's girl" but I'm not a "tom-boy" either. I'm in the middle. I love glamourous-ness and looking beautiful, but I can only do that part time at home. I also love science and getting my hands dirty in the lab, which is how I spend my days during the week. It can be a struggle to mesh these two parts of my life when, so often, society can be very strict about gender roles. I guess, I feel like I have a lot to learn from you and your other readers on how to be a girly girl. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI think people are very engaged here because they feel compassion for what it must take for you to put yourself out there like this, and want to make sure that you feel safe. You also make us think about elements of our own femininity (or lack thereof), so it is stimulating on an intellectual level as well as an aesthetic exercise.
ReplyDeleteYou are sweet and funny and gracious and smart and compassionate. So there's that, too.
Ally's all that and a bag o' chips, y'all.
I blog because I don't know many people locally that share my love of fashion. I think that you get good feedback because you write intelligent posts and you give people proper feedback. Your blog is also pretty personal so that helps with getting good commentary. Some of the bigger blogs aren't very personal or they don't have the time to visit their followers blogs so that is maybe why they get shallow comments. We all know what a great caring person you are too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Freeda Ally, I think people sense that you pour your heart out here and in a very brave and inspiring way. And seeing that encourages them to come out of heir protective shells even if its for a little bit. I read follow mostly fashion blogs with the exception of yours. I come back here only for you, your personality. I feel through this blog, I can be sort of a friend to you, which I would have tremendously loved to be had we met in real life. :)
ReplyDeleteBlogging is an outlet for me. Similarly to what Emma wrote, I do not know many people in my "real life" with many of my interests. I therefore find they only get expressed so often. I think your posts encourage the comments they receive through your openness, and frankly, natural assumption that each reader is welcome and capable of joining the conversation you begin with each post. I do not get this from some "popular" blogs. I think they're more about self-promotion than connecting or saying anything worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteI think it's because you seem like a nice person. At least for me it's that. And when someone is that nice and even leaves nice comments on my blog, I just have to be the same.
ReplyDeleteAn other reason is that I always love your outfits and I like to look at pretty pictures.
Blogging for me is an outlet. It's a place were I can let the feminine side of me escape. I use it as a way of documenting my fashion ideas and inspirations mainly but of course anything else goes too. Bottom line is I love all things feminine and it's good being around similar people who share the same passion.
ReplyDeleteInteresting point about followers too. I notice that a lot of fellow followers here do indeed leave more personal and detailed comments. I think thats really nice, it shows that your followers are very genuine people.
I want to write more but I'm rubbish with words so I'll leave it that.
I definitely like blogging on a smaller scale rather than a larger one. At one point, I was posting multiple times a day, posting photos and links to other style networks, etc. I had amazing stats, but it was exhausting, and often the dialogue was shallow. Now I don't post as often and I have a smaller group of readers, but I find it so much more fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteI blog to share, to experience community. Even though I've never met most of the people who read my blog, I feel closer to many of them than I do to people I know in real life. I love having an outlet to share what's important to me, or just what I'm up to.
I think your blog touches people because we all have fears, and struggles and we see you doing such a great job working to find happiness and make your life look they way it does in your dreams that in turn inspires us! It does not hurt that you are whip smart and have a great sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your thoughtful blog entries and the honesty that you convey through your writing. This is often lacking in the blogging world (or even in "offline" life in general!) I think I started blogging to find a community of individuals who share similar interests. It's rather odd that I started blogging since most of my academic research focuses on online community building for LGB youth. I guess work passions often overlap with hobbies!
ReplyDeleteI think that your blog is open hearted and intelligent. It is also very insightful.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't like a pretty girl who is also smart ?
Gee, guys, I'm blushing... Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what everyone has said here. Because your blog makes some wonderful touching revelations, it makes others want to comment with thoughtful responses. It's not just about fashion. It's about inner struggles as well as the obvious outward struggle.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm rooting for you. You know? I love what you're doing and I really love being a part of your discovery and joy.
xoxo,
Tracy
I started blogging because I needed to for Team Up Thursday (a photographic weekly challenge) - but I also know now that Team Up Thursday and the blog became a very important outlet and distraction when my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia - my mom was so interested in my activities and even when things were hard going on her, she asked me about my blog and theme etc...It also I suppose gave her something to think about ...Ally, the reason I like your blog is because I sense a friend, - a friend who reaches out, and has compassion and intelligence and who makes me smile - Your blog is not only a style blog, and story of your personal journey which is fascinating, it is also an interesting "conversation" on a number of diverse issues....Lots of love
ReplyDeleteLinda-Maree, I could not agree more. I too sense a friend.
ReplyDeleteVery very well said!
I agree with the other comments here, I think you reap what you sow. In your case you bravely, truthfully and generously expose your thoughts and feelings to other people, is it surprising they respond in kind?
ReplyDeleteSebbie
I agree with everyone, and will add that you are an eager student of feminity and fashion, and many of us love to use our artistic eye and life experience to guide you into our world.
ReplyDeleteBecause YOU are so open and personal, Ally! You've done us the great honour of opening up and really being yourself, and I'm in awe of how fellow bloggers are so generous with their love and support.
ReplyDeleteI blogged initially because I wanted a record of my creative outfits, and because I'm actually very insecure and need external validation. How's that for honesty? :) Now, I love the community (and feel horribly guilty for having to cut back due to stress in my life lately) and the feedback I get.
YES, it totally does. I think comments on blogs like yours are more meaningful because the level of info you share with your readers is personal. If you are willing to open so does your audience. The popular blogs post a lot of photos write hardly anything. We follow cause we like the outfits but we hardly comment cause we don't know the person. Nor do they ever visit us back or know us so why bother?
ReplyDeleteAt least that is how I feel.
Daphne.
http://fashiondivamommy.blogspot.com
I agree; I have NEVER seen another blog where the conversations were THIS engaged and people actually responded to each other's comments so often. I feel like I've said this before, maybe more than once even, but I enjoy reading everyone else's comments here, and I can't say that about most blogs. I think the main reason people feel so open and eager to share is because YOU are that way in your posts, and it opens the door for everyone else. You're so real that we forget we're on a blog instead of a private conversation, I think. And like "the other Closet" said, we root for you...we laugh and cry when you do...we feel like we're going through your journey WITH you instead of just watching it happen from the outside. Your positivity, authenticity, and courage started rubbing off on me from the first email we ever had and hasn't stopped yet. I feel like if you can do what you're doing, what excuse do any of the rest of us have not to go after what we want out of life?
ReplyDeleteI blog because I wanted to teach other gals how to learn to love themselves more. Somehow I had no idea how very much it would teach me to do that even more for myself. When somebody writes and tells me something I said affected the way they see themselves, it's like no other feeling in the world...and yet I never realized what a gift I was giving to MYSELF by doing it. I've never been so confident as I am now just from immersing myself in the idea of building confidence. I see the very same thing happening in you. :)
I agree, I love smaller blogs because I feel like I connect with someone. My little blog has already grown a bunch, but I feel like I can't keep up with my readers. I try to at least head to as many blogs as I can each day. I love the connection that blogging creates.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I do love getting feedback on my outfits. I don't have many (any?) girlfriends in real life and rely on the blog world to fill that lack. I tend towards lots of hobbies that are "nerd male"-dominant so I certainly can't talk shoes with them. I've found a lot more in the way of body positivity, emotional support and genuine friends in the process. I hope the friendships and new friends continue to grow and come my way.
I think people are so open and personal, because you are so willing to be open and personal. You've also cultivated real online friendships with people you might not talk to in real life. Your comments on my blog are so thoughtful, positive, encouraging. You embody what blogging is about. Sharing your thoughts and truly connecting to people. I can't remember why I blog, but it staves off boredom and keeps my creative muscles working.
ReplyDeleteAlly, I think people are open and personal here because YOU are open and personal... and not only that you are, but you also invite us to be. You have done a fabulous job of encouraging us to chime in, put in our two cents, check out other's blogs, offer our opinions/advice, and just simply participate in the conversation. To me, you and your blog are the definition of what blogging SHOULD be all about... Coming together with people of a common interest, sharing, talking, and forming these cyber relationships, which even though they are odd and unconventional, are very special to us bloggers. You have created a platform for friends and conversation. I would say that is what you have really done better than anyone else. Your openness, courageous spirit, friendliness, and interesting and personal content make your blog a must read! I am always so happy to say I knew you from the beginning, because I have such an immense happiness when I see how much your blog has grown. I always knew you would reach a lot of people. I think many are drawn to your goodness. And at the end of the day, you are just trying to wear what you like, have fun with fashion, meet new people, and play with your look. It is experimental, which is the beauty of real people playing with their style!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the compliemts my dear friend..
ReplyDeleteI have to say i was very confused if you are a female or a male,i saw your profile picture but the confusion came when you wrote me about what you like in makeup or fashion...i thought maybe you use your husband account :D and now i finally understand about the "gender identinty"...I imagine it's not an easy thing for you ( i know how cruel is the society). I'm happy to have such a special friend ,i guess you can make the best friend for a girl. :D kisses my darling and stay friendly and open as you are now !
http://jardelle-beauty.blogspot.com
I am new to your blog but what interested encouraged me to delve deeper (and comment) is the acceptance you have about your identity. It's inspiring. You do not fit into a box or certain label and don't seem to care. I am sure you've struggled with this throughout your lifetime and continue to now (like shopping for halters in public) but you continue to push yourself and face your fears. You aren't so different from the rest of us - what is most different about you is how you love and embrace your genuine self and share it with us! Following!
ReplyDeletehttp://inherentstylela.blogspot.com/
I started blogging because I wanted a space to write and pour my energies into. Also I was newly unemployed and I had the time. Although it is easy to fake a persona online where nobody can tell (Facebook), blogging is a way for us to show our true selves. I suspect this is the reason why your blog is so successful with its audience and rightly so
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