My experience of blogging has been kittens and sunshine. Friendly support from strangers, nice gestures from friends, and wonderful freedom to express my individuality. Yes, I've received 2-3 snarky remarks trying to ridicule me but, in the context of hundreds of positive comments, those pathetic attempts were isolated and insignificant.
Has anything bad happened to you from blogging? Nasty comments? Unfriendly interaction?
Some people have told me that many women are judgmental, and even critical, about what other women wear. I don't see that in blogs. If it exists, those people must not be revealing their thoughts. The comments I see online are supportive and constructive. Why would anyone go to the trouble of saying something nasty?
What's been your experience with other women? Are they supportive or destructive?
I think when it comes to actual blogging sites the people who are reading blog themselves therefore their is not much negativity but when it on the news or twitter, the amount of negativity is higher.
ReplyDeleteI just visited and read that post. I agree with her points. I also agree with Dale's comments. Bloggers read other bloggers and they are sensitive in their comments. And most of the time women criticize what other women are wearing in daily life, when they see inappropriate clothing or clothing that obviously does not suit their body type or clothing that is boring and too casual. People that dress this way usually do not have a style blog! :)
ReplyDeleteAhrgh, I have just spent half and hour reading that post, commenting and looking at other people's blogs Ally- BAD distractor you!!!
ReplyDeleteI've never had any blog nastiness, but I read a blog by a former bullimic, who is admittedly a bit controversial but the trolling she gets (GOMI etc) is utterly dispicable! I cannot believe the vile and foul language people use on there!)
x
In my experience fashion blogging was exactly the opposite of the fashion 'industry', it was embracing, loving, and uplifting. I've had the occasional comment that hit me the wrong way. I'm sure I suffer from blogger sins, posting too much or too little, I don't smile.
ReplyDeleteI've made friends through doing this and I try to use my blog to continue those friendships, but i'm no longer looking for numbers or increasing readers. I'm trying to maintain my connections.
First of all, I'm glad my typo made you laugh! We have not experienced much blog nastiness, at least not in our blog comments. I agree with Megan. We have made friends through the blog and try to maintain those connections by reading and commenting on other blogs and, if we are lucky, having real life dates with those people!We love our little blog family that we have found and haven't really ever felt anything but love and kindness in this community.
ReplyDeleteDid I spell anything wrong??? I'm so nervous to submit my comment now! ;)
Ha! Sorry to make you nervous. :-)
DeleteThe bad side of blogging… well, I've had some situations where i was snarked at for a post with my opinion. I felt a little bullied as more comments followed, however it was sorted out.
ReplyDeleteI have seen some awful bashing done anonymously via GOMI which I find an act of cowardness.
It's been all unicorns and rainbows for me too, Ali. I've heard some real horror stories though, so I feel lucky to have such nice readers. I don't blog about fashion very often though ... maybe that's the difference. I mean, who could possibly find fault with some old crackpot who writes about Gothic Home Decor and Taxidermy. ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Megan ... it's not about the numbers, it's about the connections. You're lucky to have been able to meet with so many of them IRL! I envy you that. :)
Now THAT was rude. I misspelled Ally. :(
DeleteNo problem!
DeleteI have had overall good experiences with blogging - I did take offense at a comment that an anonymous reader made once about a dress being too "grannyish" for me, but I get 100% positive comments now. I do get some really weird emails, mostly from men who want me to send them pictures of me in my leather clothes or of my veiny feet (really!). I put those emails in my "creepy and weird" file in my inbox (and I always show them to L).
ReplyDeleteI work to fulfill my own need to forge relationships with people, and to write, and to record my outfits. I love the interactions with my readers and other bloggers.
Thanks for the link to Suzanne's article - I totally agree with her.
Yes. While blogging is generally a fun and friendly place to be, there are those who seem to get off on being nasty - the trolls. I have absolutely no problem with constructive criticism, for that is how we learn and it is good for the soul, but I have seen people be bullied and drawn to tears by the comments of others. How sad. I am so pleased that out of the 100s of comments you get 99% are positive, and that is testament to the kind of person you come across as - honest and open and lovely.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Zoe.
DeleteAs you know not all the interaction I've had online has been positive. However the positive more than makes up for the negative.
ReplyDeleteI have a strong opinion and I'm not scared to share it. That can get me into trouble. I once mentioned that the killing of defenceless animals made me sad, as someone was excited that their young daughter at the age of 12 had just shot her first deer. To me that is awful. And I said so. Well I said it made me sad to hear that someone thought that was something to be excited about. It got really really heated and downright mean. Loads of her followers totally ripped me apart. Needless to say I do not follow or comment on her blog anymore and she is a very popular blogger.
I don't care what someone wears or chooses not to wear. But something so important as the taking of an innocent life to me is simply a moral line that I cannot abide by.
Oh! And I've been told that I'm too old to wear certain items like a cardigan with poodles on it. LOL I didn't realize there was an age for such a thing.
Thanks for the shout-out lady!
bisous
Suzanne
http://www.suzannecarillo.com
I was writing a comment and it disappeared! If you get this twice, I apologize. Anyway, I have mostly experienced the good side of blogging - support, friendship, connections and even some opportunities for fun things to review and try out - and I love those things but I always said I set out to write the blog first for me and then everything else is just icing on the cake. I am so blessed to have made many friends though and wouldn't trade them for anything. That said, I was hit with one negative thing once that almost convinced me to stop blogging altogether - a post I wrote ended up on the site Get Off My Internets once and it bruised me more than I'd like to admit - but Nate talked me off the ledge and convinced me to ignore the haters and keep doing what I love - and I've never looked back.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your bad experience, Beth.
DeleteI think there are people out there who are just tortured souls and look for anything to throw negativity at. I love your blog and would never dream of saying anything nasty to you however you have never posted anything that would drive me to do that. If I don't like a post that I read (by anyone) then I just don't comment. We all have our likes/dislikes/opinions but why spread ugliness ... there is enough of that out there anyways.
ReplyDeleteI did have ... of course anonymously ... a comment early on in my blogging life (which hasn't been that long) which really hurt and it nearly stopped me from blogging however I blog for myself and so I decided to ignore them and continue with my little blog.
Love you Miss Ally!!!!
Love you back!
DeleteIt's been really positive for me so far. I feel so lucky to have connected with a (mostly online) community of awesome peeps!
ReplyDeleteMy experience with women has been mixed. I'm not sure if it's my Aspergers, but I sometimes lose friends without knowing why.
ReplyDeleteWomen can be lovely to your face, and catty behind your back.
But online I've only found support. Maybe it's too much trouble to bother making rude remarks!
I can't say I've ever had bad experiences with my blogger blog, but I do occasionally get a random harassing comment on Tumblr or Instagram. Mostly I think I just slide under people's radar, and that's fine by me because I know that the people who do comment are my friends and are really supportive and care about me.
ReplyDeleteIn real life, I have trouble making friends with anyone, but I have fallen victim to false friendships and cattiness. It's not cool, just leave other people alone and worry about yourself, is my motto.
I would say that yes there most certainly is a dark side of blogging. I used to get ugly and mean comments all the time. As twisted as it sounds, I got really excited about it (LOL) I thought that it was a sign that I was doing something right.
ReplyDeleteBlogging can be very competitive, and I know that many feel the pressure to perform constantly. One of the negative aspects I feel every day is the feeling that I constantly need to be connected to the internet. I hate myself for it some days, honestly. I feel like I'm way too connected to the internet, and not actually plugged into my real life some days.
But then there are positives too! The last 5 years I have had a solid, bi-weekly paying job because of my blog. I've created a network that I never imagined I could have because of blogging. I've also made incredible friends from all over the world. So, good with the bad :)
I'm so, so glad that you stopped by my blog today! I've actually been here before, reading through many of your wonderful posts, but hadn't yet left a comment on any of them. I've only been blogging for about 9 months - and in that time I've had a few nasty commenters, but most everything has been positive. Have a great weekend! I promise to be back, and I'll stop lurking and start commenting!
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Lana!
Deletei've had negative comments, but they are always from strangers and/or first timers. i've started getting snarky ones on instagram but it's nothing bothersome. i do hate the competition on blogs. can't we all just get along?
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteI have had some constructive criticism, but the worst I get is spam. Someone once wrote that you know you've made it big when you start getting nasty comments. My blog isn't big, so there is that. I guess that there is also the fact that bloggers like you and I like to make friends with other bloggers, so we establish relationships. Other people leave random comments because they just want to bring traffic to their blog.
ReplyDeleteIf we exclude blatant spam, a solid 98% of my online experiences in the blogging world have been positive, kind, polite and very enjoyable, but I'm not apt to post about overly controversial things and I try to get along with everyone, so that may be factoring in my favour and skewing things a tad. Whatever the case, I hope that you and I both always continue to feel safe, happy, and respected in our online abodes.
ReplyDelete♥ Jessica
I get generally good feedback, when it is negative, it is constructive, and at least i know that the other comments this blogger makes are sincere.
ReplyDeleteStill, i am one to find, and want to share the positive. Every time i open a new post, I smile.. Maybe it is my midwest up bringing?
Good manners should be practiced in life, virtual and otherwise,
Thanks for bring this up!
xx, Elle
http://mydailycostume.com/
I've been blogging since 2003, and WOW--things were bad in the beginning. Let's just say that yup, cyberbullying is real, folks, and it hurts. It's horrible because I feel that, at least in part, most bloggers blog because they want to surround themselves with others like them and feel a sense of community and belonging--perhaps because it's missing in their offline lives. When you're able to find that, it's bliss. And when a "blogger fiend" pops up and threatens that bliss, it can be more hurtful than negative comments in "real life" because there's more at stake. I've experienced some pretty nasty things online, both personally and by watching it happen to other people. Yet, I'm still here, and the positive effects and friendships I've built definitely have outweighed the negative experiences.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. And I give you credit for withstanding abuse and showing up back online. You've got courage!
DeleteDamnit, I have so much catching up to do-- you've been doing so many great posts lately and I've been barely reading blogs the past two weeks because of end of year reporting.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'm glad that you're having a great experience blogging. I think for every negative comment you receive there will be 25 other bloggers willing to kick someone's ass (publicly ridicule and shame them) over it.
One time I ended up getting lambasted on some pro-patriarchy blog which I found more amusing than anything else. Other than that I've never experienced anything too out of the ordinary.
To expand upon your friend Suzanne's article-- another reason is when bloggers leave super spammy comments. It got to the point where I had to email one blogger whose comments I kept on deleting (and then she'd rewrite them) since the only comment she would leave is "Check out my blog at www.stupidname.com" In my email I told her to at least pretend she's interested in what I have to say. So rude!
On the other hand, there are my blogging friends--like you!
XxMO
madame-ostrich.com
I share your annoyance with people who use our blogs to promote their own. As you say, at least pretend you like us! :-)
DeleteRegarding your other remark, I blog when I have time and energy, which frequently conflicts with when readers are around. For example, most of my blogging is on weekends or holidays when the online world is deserted. I wish this could be different but my full-time job is too demanding to create much during the work-week.
i guess i've been lucky to have had a positive experience so far...everyone had been supportive and kind.
ReplyDelete*has been
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