A straight man thought it would be fun to pretend to be a girl on an online-dating website. He imagined playful interactions with men that would end in good humor when he told them it was a prank.
He was wrong. He got a dose of reality. In the actual experience, he was bombarded by rude, aggressive and overtly sexual messages from men. It wasn't the fun he expected. "I ended up deleting my profile at the end of two hours and kind of went about the rest of my night with a very bad taste in my mouth."
His conclusion? "I came away thinking that women have it so much harder than guys do when it comes to that kind of stuff."
Does this reflect your experiences dating online?
VERY interesting post. Kinda Cat Fish on the other side. I can't wait to see what people say!
ReplyDeleteActually I'm not surprised :D. I never used a dating site, but when I was on MySpace and such sites where I'd have a public profile (and single) I noticed that many of the guys that were looking, were obsessed about finding someone, so I can understand they were disappointed by such a prank.. :D
ReplyDeleteSo were the chaps generally overly rude et before you told them about the prank? If thats the case then yes thats the experience I have shared. SOme horrors out there but also some nice ones. Lots of chaff to wade through.
ReplyDeleteI joined a online dating site some years back and the sad thing is that men admitted believing that divorced women just needed 'sex'. It was really an interesting experience.
ReplyDeleteThat said, there are real decent men who also look for relationships online and I'm lucky that I met some wonderful people and the one man I dated still does mine, Schatz and Lynn's tax as he's a tax consultant. The other is a photographer with whom I still have contact. I also made a friend for life through the site ... but not every has such positive experiences.
I've never done online dating, but I have a number of friends who have and they all entertain us monogamous folks with horror stories of bad messages and bad dates. It's kind of funny, but it's also really sad.
ReplyDeleteMakes me think of the Cracked writer who made a fake profile: She used a model friend's photo (with permission) but gave the fake person the most horrible, stupid and terrible personality you can conceive. Here's the full story: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-i-learned-from-worst-online-dating-profile-ever/. Kind of made me lose faith in humanity (or at least single men on dating sites).
I am glad that this resulted as it should have. Not all men are jerks, as this one obviously isn't since he felt bad afterwards, but realizing how hard it is for women out there! That is only the half of it, it is easy to weed out the jerks, then you have to deal with the "Nice" guys who think that women owe them something because they don't act like the typical jerk, when in actuality, these guys are often worse!
ReplyDeleteNot done online dating but I know that some people have a difficult time of it. My friend went on a Christian dating site, expecting all the men to be Christian and there was a whole heap who were just after one thing!x
ReplyDeleteI never thought about how badly we have it until I read this! Before reading this, it was just something I accepted as the norm. But now it hit me...it really is a problem!
ReplyDeleteI've never done online dating. However, I have had similar experiences online. I was disgusted by how many men (some who were even in relationships/engaged/married) would hit on me and try to get my number. I would ignore them.
xo
I once set up an online dating profile for my mother, without her knowledge, or permission (terrible thing to have done). My idea was to scan out the perverts, and find her the "perfect match". It was hell, horrifying, and just down right weird at times. I would let the men know by the second email who I was, and what I was doing, and for the most part the men were okay with it. But here's the thing: I've come to the conclusion that most people on online dating sites are there for reasons OTHER the natural assumption. I think they are there because they are either looking for an easy partner or one night stands... I once knew a rather hopeless girl who kept falling prey to them.
ReplyDeleteI think dating is best done the old fashion way: meet others in spaces of common interest, and go from there!
I had an experience with online dating not dissimilar to what the author of that piece described. It was funny; I set up a profile on a whim because I was afraid there was no market for women in their 30s and in the span of an hour I went from, "Hm, is there anybody out there that would be remotely interested?" to "Dear gawd why are there SO MANY of you augh shutitoffshutitoffshutitoff"
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I actually met through an online dating site, so I'd have to say I had a positive experience! I did meet someone online who was convinced we were a perfect match (when we had just exchanged a message or two and never met in person!) but overall the guys I met seemed like pretty upright characters who weren't just looking for immediate gratification. But maybe I'm naive/give people the benefit of the doubt too much?
ReplyDeleteWell different people has different experience with dating site. I found my love at India dating site so I believe it is a good thing for me.
ReplyDeleteI met my hubby online (but not on a dating site). Before I met him though, I did do my share of online dating and a lot of guys were rather rude. I'd say there's only a small percentage that are actually looking for a serious relationship.
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
I feel like dating sites have become cesspools at this point and are much more hostile than they were 5 years ago. When I tried online dating I got a lot of annoying responses, but I also attracted very intelligent people (some who are still my friends to this day). I'll never know if it's because of the "I take no shit" profile I had, or if my intimidating aura crossed over into the web. But my advice for women is to lay off the free dating sites. Those are just bad news.
ReplyDeleteI never did dating online. I met my husband pretty early on, but even trying to meet friends can be an interesting mess. I've met a very great group of lovely people online, but I've also "met" a whole host of other people I definitely haven't gotten on with.
ReplyDeleteThe internet definitely strips away the masks we wear in person, but sometimes it can be a positive thing too. It connects you to people you'd otherwise maybe not meet in real life.
I tried the whole online dating thing for years before I met my husband. On my profile I mentioned that I don't believe in sex before marriage and I got a lot of messages from guys telling me I should change my mind, stop being a prude a give it up like everyone else does. Some where pretty rude about it. Here's a funny side story: I actually met up with one guy from an online dating site ONCE. He tuned out to be a 6'8 goth nerd who filed his fingernails into claws... ew.
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