Absurd? Maybe Not

There's a comedian who was popular in the Eighties whose name is Steven Wright.  He's still around but not as well-known now.

Steven's performances are unusual.  He tells jokes in a dead monotone, focusing all attention on his material.  His jokes are about absurd ideas -- but if you think about them, they contain a kernel of truth.  That contrast creates humor.

Rather than describe Steven's material, let me give you some of his observations:


I was wondering how my life would have been different if I'd been borne one day earlier.  Then I thought maybe it wouldn't have been different other than I would have asked that question yesterday.

It was the first time I was ever in love.  I learned a lot.  Before then, I never even thought about killing myself.

I went to the supermarket today.  I picked up some milk and went up to the register and I said, "Hi.  How are you?" and she said "Will that be all?" and I said, "No, I want to buy this."

Next week I'm going to have a MRI to find out if I have claustrophobia.

A friend of mine has a trophy-wife but apparently it wasn't First Place.

I bought a new camera.  It's very advanced.  You don't even need it.

I bought an iPod.  It can hold 5,000 songs or one telephone message from my mother.

You know, if heat rises, Heaven might be hotter than Hell.

My doctor told me I shouldn't work out any more until I'm in better shape.

One of my grandfathers died when he was a little boy.

I was driving down the highway and saw a guy hitchhiking.  He had a sign that said "Heaven."  So I hit him.

You know, the Earth is bipolar.

She was a mail-order bridesmaid.

She drank so much she slurred her pauses.

She was studying forensic astronomy.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

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Have you heard of Steven Wright?  Do you think any of these jokes are funny?