Saturday, November 9, 2013

Dangerous Food

I love hot sauce. But I never knew you could make it. I thought hot sauces had to be bought, in bottles with funny labels on them.

A friend gave me 50 habanero peppers recently which she'd grown. These suckers are super-hot. One of them will spice up an entire pot of food to the breaking point of human endurance. I've gone through 15 of them so far and wondered what to do with the rest since I can't eat them any faster. Then I realized we live in the age of the Internet. So I went online and found numerous recipes for making hot sauce. I took 30 of the remaining peppers (reserving five for future cooking) and turned them into Ally's Batch No. 1.

The process was not without incident. While cutting the habaneros, I rubbed my eyes and -- OMFG, I'm blind!! My eyes burned intensely for ten minutes. My sight came back but the whole area remained inflamed for about an hour. No amount of washing or bargaining with God relieved the paIn.

I finished making the hot sauce and am now bottling it for my enemies. One drop of this stuff will remove grease stains from your driveway. Two drops will cause cardiac arrest.

Life is full of adventures, isn't it?

For those who are interested, here's how I did it.  I chopped and seeded the thirty habanero peppers, then saut√©ed them with minced onions (one-half of a big one) and chopped garlic (five cloves) for five minutes.  I added two cups of water and a dash of Tamari soy sauce, and cooked the mixture at high heat for 20 minutes.  After letting it cool down to room temperature, I pureed the concoction in a food-processor while adding 1/3 cup of vinegar.  Voila!

Here are some pictures of the procedure.  Warning -- DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
 
 
 
 

 
 

 
 


18 comments:

  1. Hahaha...that's funny! I can't really handle food that's too spicy. I do like it...but it burns so bad sometimes.

    Your finished result looks yummy. ;)

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  2. Wowza! I usually stick with jalapenos or the red chilis if if I eat spicy. Habeneros are just outside my tolerance range! But they are so very pretty peppers.

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  3. Your post made me smile. KeeCee loves anything spicy. When she was about 9 years old, my hubby's bestie, a fierce cook, gardener, and foodie, decided he was gonna make her cry with some of his homemade habernero sauce. He gave her some roasted chicken, which she liberally applied the sauce to. She ate the chicken. He waited for the tears. She kept eating the chicken. When he finally found his voice (he's normally super vocal) and asked her how it was, she replied, "It's not that hot." Ouch.

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  4. i love spicy foods, but my tummy is so sensitive :p

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  5. You are hilarious! Your hot sauce looks yummy. I just wish I could tolerate that much heat. Although I have been known to put some pepper vinegar on my greens, also yum!

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  6. Hahaha, Koreans are known for their spicy foods, so when a friend was dating a young woman from Korea, my friend Matt made hot sauce for the food he was cooking. He took the five spiciest chilies from China, took the seeds out, and made them into a *paste*. It still wasn't the hottest thing she'd ever eaten, but they were impressed.

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  7. haha, brilliant post, I like spicy food but this looks lethal!

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  8. Oh my goodness, that truly must have stung and burn like the absolute dickens! I've gotten lemon juices and soap (at different times) in my eyes and they nearly blinded me, I just imagine how brutal chili pepper residue must have felt. You poor thing! Kudos on mustering on and completing this batch of hot sauce, it looks terrific!

    ♥ Jessica

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  9. Cool, er, HOT blog post!

    But aren't the peppers beautiful to look at!

    Like so many beautiful things, a touch of danger!

    Stay cool, guy! :-)

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  10. hmm - looks delicious, sounds very hot!
    had to smile about your accident - i knew a guy who chopped pepperoni and then used the boy room.....

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  11. OMG I need to make this for my hubby. He LOVES hot and I mean super hot spicy sauces and food.

    I too have touched my face while cutting peppers. Seriously not fun.

    Thanks for sharing!

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  12. NOM NOM NOM that looks amazing! My brother made hot sauce once! Had a very similar experience as you, so don't feel bad! I hope that your eye feels better today!

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  13. OH dear!! I can imagine that was sheer hell! I rubbed my eyes with chilli once and was in moaning pain for ages but am sure it wasn't as bad as that!!! Hope the sauce is worth it! And always good to know you have legal poison around!! ;-) xx

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  14. Haaaa Wellll, it LOOKS good, but I think I'm gonna pass. I do believe I may have already used up all my bargaining chips with God. :D

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  15. Oooh! I can't eat spicy things, but my bf has dabbled in making his own hot sauce. He bought food-prep gloves to avoid hand contamination. Always the planner, that one :)

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  16. I love spicy. LOVE. Like I will cry when eating and continue to do so :)

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  17. Looks lovely however I do not eat hot stuff however well done on making your own sauce.

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  18. woo, just looking at that is making my eyes water

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