Cara and have been following her blog for years. What I like most about Cara is that she's a real woman. By which I mean that she's authentic. She is an individual with her own choices about behavior, presentation, fashion and life. Cara doesn't conform to any societal role: she is herself. I respect that.
When you read someone's blog for a long time, you get to know them. With Cara, you can sense her intelligence, her strength, her uniqueness. Those traits aren't as common as you might believe.
Some women have told me that their relationship to femininity isn't easy and has a long history. Pushed into a prescribed role from birth, these women find femininity to be an ill-fitting suit. For them, the choices are difficult -- rejecting conformity risks social criticism; adopting unnatural behavior feels inauthentic. It's rough terrain to navigate.
As someone with a lifetime of analogous struggles (publicly suppressing my attraction to femininity and displaying fake masculinity), I relate. Boy, do I relate.
So I've often detected glimpses of Cara's difficulties in blogged descriptions of her life. And been intrigued by them. And sympathetic to them.
Today, Cara posted her reflections on this subject. Her thoughts are profound and important. And they came without any warning. I opened my Bloglovin reader this morning and saw... my face! And not on my blog! I instantly knew something was up.
Cara uses me as an illustration of her point and I believe she's right on target. Despite being the least-likely candidate for feminine presentation, I strive to achieve it with grace and poise. In so acting, I celebrate the feminine in all of us. That effort resonates with some women, including those who've had their own struggle with gender and presentation. I'm extremely happy if I can give anyone else confidence and strength; that's a wonderful effect to have on the world.
Go read Cara's blog!!