Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Things I Can't Do


I'm an educated, strong person but there are many things I can't do.  Just can't. 

Here are some of them:

1. I can't spell hors d'oeuvres.  I have to look it up.  Every single time.

2. I can't kill a bug.  My love for animals and all life stops me from squashing them.  When I find an ant or a moth or a leopard in my house, I get a paper cup, scoop up the little critter and then release him into the wild of my backyard.

3. I can't go to topless bars.  They depress me so badly.  My empathy for the women who work there becomes overpowering.  Seeing how rude and crude men behave toward them (e.g., groping; filthy talk) makes me physically sick.

4. I can't watch a movie about a mother dying without sobbing like a baby.  "Bright Lights, Big City" with Michael J. Fox brings me to tears quicker than a light-switch.  Ditto with "Terms Of Endearment."

5. I can't stop trying to do the things I believe in, even when obstacles are insurmountable.  I just can't face reality and give up.  I've been called "dogged", which is true.

What can't you do?

33 comments:

  1. i've only recently started crying at movies and i'm not sure why! maybe it's a sign i'm growing up and becoming less of a jaded teenager :P

    i can't spell "definitely". i'm a very good speller and won a lot of spelling bees as a kid but for some reason that word always screws me up.
    i can't have a political debate without letting passion get in the way.
    i can't wake up at 6:30 for my 8 a.m. class.

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  2. I can't draw (I don't know if that counts, as its not something that I could choose to do if I absolutely had to) and it makes me sad.
    I can't get rid of my cat, even if it means having a nicer place to live. I get super stressed and my body reacts badly.
    I can't go long periods of time without dying my hair funky colors. My job won't let me have them though, so its either wear a wig every day (Itchy!) or deal with the normal colors, and its kinda hard on my self esteem.

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  3. I don't kill bugs either. My solution is to go into another room until they disappear back into the walls or under the couch.

    Uggh...now you got me thinking about Bambie's mother... *sniff* :(

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    1. Bambi!! The first movie I cried at.

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  4. I'm pretty bad with bugs myself! We have a lot of silverfish in the dorm where I live because the walls are old and they can basically survive on dust. They're harmless, but they grow really big and disgusting, I've seen some that were an inch long. I usually leave them alone but when one crawls out from an unexpected space (under my computer, or across the apron I just put on!) I panick and squish them - only to feel very sorry immediately afterwards! I have also discovered that I'm entirely clueless about how to be mean-girl mean, even when it would be useful!

    Topless bars should just not exist. (Where do they, and why would you even try going there? Is it an expected thing for a lawyer to go there with wealthy industrial-criminal clients? *just kidding*) Except on a voluntary basis and with someone ensuring that everything happening there is consensual. Which is virtually impossible, so: No.

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    1. I agree with you about topless bars. I've been dragged to them by motorcycle buddies and other male friends.

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  5. I can't drive. I still have a learner's permit that I've had going on four years. I've driven less than ten times.

    I can't not have a panic attack right before a doctor takes my blood pressure (no matter how much I rationalize), and I can't look where I'm going when I walk (I swear I run into everything).

    I can't spell silhouette without spell check.

    I cry during Grey's Anatomy, pretty much every episode, even when it doesn't make me that sad.

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    1. Same here with silhouette. It's those darn French words!

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    2. MM, you remind my of my oldest daughter, the graduate student in costume construction. She had a learner's permit for years, because she hated to drive. Then she got her license, and totaled two cars within six months. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt, but those deals my dad got on two previously owned Honda Civics in mint condition were kinda shot. We laugh about it now, but for years I'd jump a mile when her number showed up on my mobile phone :P

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  6. I can't kill bugs either! My father used to get so mad at me because I could not squash a bug. I mean really mad.
    I cry in every movie where a dog dies. Must be remembering Old Yeller. I can't help it, I cry.
    Once I went to a stripper bar with some friends about 40 years ago and it was just awful. The woman dancing on the pole was overweight and everyone was making fun of her. It was just awful.

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    1. Men feel license in these places to reveal their misogny and it's repulsive.

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  7. I don't like killing bugs either. I get made fun of a lot for it, but when I have done it, it makes me feel horrible. If it's a bug I deem as harmful, I feel more justified like I am protecting my family, but I still feel a little twinge. I actually have a designated tin that I refer to as The Bug Mobile that transports insects back outside.

    Well, you could probably already safely assume I have a hard time with movies where the mom dies. And I can usually watch any murder mystery where people get killed, but I can't handle an animal dying in a show or movie. CANNOT. Although, I have to say, since becoming a mom, seeing death portrayed on the screen is harder sometimes now than it used to be.

    I can't spell misspell without looking it up. Just kidding. Had to say it. ;)

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  8. Oh, and by the way, next time you happen to run across a leopard in your house, maybe he belongs to The Most Interesting Man in the World like that commercial?

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  9. Someone has two "4"s in their list...;)

    1. I can't spell "particularly." I always spell it "particulalrly."

    2. I can't finish my minor in music and am switching to Psychology very last-minute.

    3. I can't do a push-up. (This REALLY sucked when I used to play basketball!)

    4. I can't bring myself to get the guts to get the tattoos I've been plotting for over a year/dye my hair red/rhinoplasty (or injections), even though I want to do all three of those things pretty badly.

    5. I can't really swim, and I can't ride a bike.

    ...wow. That's depressing!

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  10. I could never donate blood because I'm 100% sure I would faint or throw up. I'm so amazed at those people who can donate blood! I wish I could do it. Even *thinking* about it (like right now) makes me so nauseous!! The 2 times out of 4 that I've had to have blood work done, I've fainted. The other 2 times, I had to lie down so I wouldn't faint. I'm just THAT queasy about it.

    It was a real problem when I first started getting my period. Somehow, along the way, my brain switched over from "this is blood" to "this is period." Every now and then I have to remind myself "this isn't blood! it's period!" It's strange, but it makes me feel better and less queasy.

    I have zero idea how I'm going to handle having a baby...ugh. I've never told ANYONE this, but even putting in tampons used to make me lightheaded...I'd have to lie down so I wouldn't faint. le sigh...

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    1. I should have added that one too -- I can't even think about donating blood without getting sick.

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  11. 1. I can't lie, even when it's in my own best interest.
    2. Sometimes I can't spell "blue," and then worry I have early onset Alzheimer's.
    3. I can't imagine life without my dogs (I know I'm supposed to say kids or spouse), yet I know I have to.
    4. I can't wear shorts. Or maybe that's won't...
    5. I can't sing, and I really, really wish I could.

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  12. I actually went to a strip club last night. It was my first outing. I probably was oogling and ahhing just as bad as the men, and even had the pleasure of recieving a lap dance. The funny moment was trying to figure out how to fold the bills in a way that you can glide your fingers through a womans breast or ass crack before you tip her.
    I know this can cause a debate on its own, but if you have the ability to flaunt it and make money off of it...whats so bad about it? Damn if i had the body I would do it..then again I cater to a different clientele. In ways it is the confidence and exhibitionism within myself, that I love to be natural, naked, and happy...

    So things I can't do...
    I cant eat something crawling or living killing it with my mouth...(those fear factor challenges)
    I can't do a pull up or have the upper body strength to lift myself up
    I cant run fast
    I can trill my r's
    I cant help myself from attaching myself to specific people
    I can't speak a foreign language

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  13. What an amazing post- so thought provoking- I might borrow your concept and do one of my own :) Yay for not killing living creatures- I'm the same way- they all deserve love!

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  14. P.S. Have you seen the Geico commercial with the 'adopted panther'? Your 'leopard in the house' quote made me think of that- youtube it if you haven't already watched it- very funny!

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  15. I am with you and Sage on Bambi. That movie is a killer along with the Lion King. I don't think kids should be subjected to such depressing films. WTF Disney!

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  16. I have not seen either of those films but I can't watch anything where a kid or an animal dies. I mean, I feel bad when a parent or whatnot dies, but kids and animals-nope. Won't watch it.

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  17. Thanks for the thought provoking post ... I am going to give this one some thought and find out what my answers are. I am a real cry baby ~ I even cry in Extreme Makeover Home Edition!!!

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    1. Nothing wrong with being a cry-baby, Lynn. It means you have emotions and that's a good thing. I cried uncontrollably at my mother's funeral and my brother (a troubled soul) couldn't shed a tear even though he was torn up inside. Crying helps. It's often a catharsis. Sadly, it's denied to men for stupid cultural reasons. Somebody should write a post about this.

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  18. Oh man, so many things I can't do. I can't sing in public without my voice cracking. I was Christmas Queen in the 4th grade and I had to sing at the Christmas show in front of all the kids in grades 1-4 and their parents. I was really great until the night of the performance where I completely failed. Haven't been able to sing in public since then.

    You are so lovely, by the way. Every time I learn something new about you my heart goes squish.

    xo,
    Tracy

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    1. Ditto, Sweetheart. Your story breaks my heart.

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  19. I can't kill bugs either.

    & neither can my husband. Is it bad that the 13 year old is the bug killer in out house? It doesn't bother me one bit.

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  20. I can't kill bugs either and it actually upsets me a little when I see someone else squash one. As long as I can get to the bug before my dog Bandit eats it I set them free.

    I cry in movies a lot, mostly if an animal dies or gets hurt.

    One thing I can't do is snap with my right hand. I can with my left just fine but not with my right and I am right handed!!!

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  21. I can't touch peaches or sandpaper. Both make my skin crawl.

    I can't lay in bed for more than 2 minutes after I wake up. Once my brain turns on - it's time to get up!

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  22. I cannot stand seeing someone being taken advantage of or being humiliated.
    Cannot stand animal cruelty.
    Also rude kids and kids throwing tantrums. Those parents need to be spanked.

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  23. Oh and I always ALWAYS cry at Titanic. I believe that the girl should have died and that Leonardo should have lived :)

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  24. hahah to number one! I look it up every time too.

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