There's a hurricane heading straight to New York. It will arrive later today. Many people here are panicking. The stores are sold out of flashlights, batteries, bottled water; the gas stations have long lines. Mass transit is being shut down; all sports-games are cancelled, and Broadway shows are going dark.
I'm not concerned. I've lived through hurricanes before. I believe the fear gripping people is irrational and an overreaction. Then again, if you don't see any new posts on this blog next week, perhaps I was washed out to shore...
A business-colleague took me to a ballgame last night. We saw the N.Y. Mets beat the Atlanta Braves in new CitiField stadium. Built two years ago, the stadium is much more modern than the old one it replaced. When I was growing up, my dad used to take me to Shea Stadium to watch the Mets lose games. The new ballpark is nicer and even has BBQ from a fancy NYC restaurant I've visited (Blue Smoke).
The game was good. The Mets starter pitched a two-hit complete game that he later described as the best performance of his career. It was. And the rest of the team supported him with six runs. I kept rubbing my eyes, disbelieving it was the Mets I was watching. They are a lousy team -- under .500 and 22 games behind the Phillies.
Okay, now here's the tricky one. Last week, someone hurt my feelings. Badly. A fellow-blogger whom I've known for a year, exchanged e-mails with, and previously felt supported by. She left a comment on my blog that hurt me so deeply that -- for the very first and only time -- I deleted it. Every time I read the comment, it hurt me again. I felt leaving it up would continue making me feel sad.
The problem is, she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. I believe she had no malice in her heart. She was just saying what she thought.
What do you do with that? I can't be angry with her, because she wasn't trying to offend me. I'm reluctant to mention it to her, because she'll just say she wasn't trying to offend me (which I believe is true). And yet, my feelings are still hurt. I don't know how to repair them. Worse, it's causing me to question whether you guys share her beliefs and if maybe I'm misinterpreting what I thought was your support of me as something else entirely.
The fellow-blogger's comment was about a subject of critical importance to me -- being who I am. Her statement was candid: its essence said, "you are a freak and, if my husband acted the way you do, I couldn't love him." I won't quibble with the first part (noting my social deviance), but I was wounded by the second part (that I'm unworthy of love). Some of us are different, but we are all worthy of love. Being different doesn't disqualify you from that basic human need.
I think she was simply saying what she believes. Perhaps it is my mistake in assuming that, because she is friendly and reads my blog, she understands and supports me. Those assumptions now seem patently false.
Do you have any advice on how I should react to this? How I should handle it, if at all?
Why do you read my blog? Is it because you like me, or am I merely a dancing bear whose oddity entertains you?