New Year's Resolutions

Resolutions are a tired affair: we make 'em and break 'em with little real impact on our lives.  Plus, we usually fail to imagine serious change.

It's going to be different for me this year.  I'm going to actually do what I promise.  Given my dogged nature, there's some certainty in that.

I have a few resolutions -- including two secret ones.  I'll tell you them, but you have to keep them a secret.  Okay?

Here are the public resolutions: I plan to learn how to take better pictures (with my new Nikon camera); I want to exercise more and, like everyone else, I hope to lose a little weight -- or at least find tighter Spanx.  :)

Here are my secret resolutions -- for half a century, I've had two dreams, neither of which I've ever experienced and, to be frank, I'm not sure how I can achieve either one.  I invite you to offer suggestions for my predicament.

My secret dreams are: (1) to wear a prom dress -- one with a big, pouffy full-skirt; and (2) try on a wedding gown. 

I'm not sure how to achieve these dreams since I'm really shy and never make a scene in public.  I can't just walk into a bridal-store and say, "Show me what you've got."  It takes all the courage I have just to shop in thrift- and discount-stores where there is no sales-help.  The essential problem is that while I'm not embarassed by my yearnings, I don't want to discomfort anyone while pursuing them.  I'm extremely empathetic and would never ask a saleswoman to indulge my unconventional wishes because I worry about disturbing her tranquility and that of other female-shoppers in the store. 

Do you have any ideas for making this a reality?  Making a gown out of toilet-paper?

And what are your New Year's resolutions?