My Birthday, Your Opportunity.

It's that annual moment of decision: choosing how to convey birthday greetings to a good friend (in this case, me). You can choose Option A, which involves some effort, or Option B, which requires nearly none. The salient thing to realize is that while your choice nominally appears to reflect on the friend, what it really reveals is YOUR character. How you choose to act is who you are. Who do you want to be?

Option A

Your friend has a birthday coming up soon (Nov. 3). You can:

1. Examine your relationship with the friend, assess its value to you, and ponder how he would react to a kind gesture. Taking into account the recent circumstances and experiences of the friend is encouraged. Also relevant are whether the friend sent you a birthday card in the past and remembering how you felt receiving one.

2. Decide to send that friend a real birthday greeting. No, not an online click but an actual card. Made of paper. Possibly humorous. Signed by hand. Mailed with a stamp.

3. Imagine your friend laughing at the funny card in his hand, feeling grateful for the effort you made to send it, and ultimately warmed by a little love from you. Imagine that. Is that a world you want to live in? Where friends love each other? You can create it. Or not. Shape the world by your actions.

4. With three weeks available plan your approach. Contemplate which nearby stores sell cute cards. Figure out when you'll be swinging by one of them. There's plenty of time to include a store visit in your life so there's no inconvenience.

5. Arrive at the store. Look through the cards, chuckling often. Select a card whose message and imagery you believe the recipient will enjoy. Feel proud of your knowledge of the friend's sense of humor.

6. Take the card home. A week or so before B-day pull the card out, laugh again at its humor and sign your name to the card. If inclined add a short note.

7. Find the friend's address and write it on the envelope. If necessary, you can ask him; he'll be happy to supply it. Record the information so you won't be flummoxed in the future.

8. Before dropping the card off at the Post Office or mailbox put a stamp on the envelope. If you don't have a stamp, get thee to a nunnery! Actually, that was in Shakespeare's time: today we buy stamps at the Post Office. Ask the teller which interesting stamps are available. If you plan ahead you can buy super-cool stamps online from the Postal Service, such as new ones celebrating Route 66 and car culture.

9. Mail the card. Sit back and relax. Feel proud of yourself.

10. Enjoy a deeper friendship from which you will get a reciprocal birthday card in the future.

Option B

Foregoing the above effort, on the day of my birthday you can merely "like" a Facebook post mentioning me. That's all: one click. Job done, obligation fulfilled.

Yes, that's easy, requires no planning, but... you'll know, in your heart of hearts, you could have done more. Pushed a little harder, expended a little effort. Shown your friend you truly care and not just performed this social act in the laziest possible way.

As with all of life, the choice is yours. No one else dictates how you should behave (unless your mother is still alive). Remember your life is what you choose to make it... and no more. Your relationships are only as deep as you respect them. Act with care.