Whatever our feelings about our parents -- and they are often mixed -- we cannot deny the noumenal influence they have on our lives. This continues after their death, as those of you who've lost a mom or dad know.
Today is my father's birthday. He would have been 94 years old. (He passed away in December 2022.) I woke up thinking about him, not realizing until hours later that it's his birthday. Despite his physical absence he still lives in my head.
I'm fortunate to have photographs from his life, including from earlier periods before I met him. Those are fascinating because they demonstrate how deeply my mother transformed him in his twenties. Ralph Sr. (née Rolf) was an adventurous rogue who grew up in a war-zone. He met his match in Barbara Jo, a fierce animal-trainer from the jungle of Brooklyn. BJ tamed Ralph into domestic duty and he performed the roles of husband and father even though they weren't natural to him. We all do what we must. On the plus side, my mother showed my father how to live sensibly and he benefited from that lesson over a long, pleasant lifetime.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Happy birthday to your dad. I think it makes sense to think of our lost loved ones on their birthdays. He seems to have been a cool guy. That BW photograph of him with the dog is so iconic. It looks like it was taken from some classical movie. I feel like I have seen it before. Very nice photo of you two smiling as well!
ReplyDeleteThank you, pal.
DeleteHappy birthday to your dad.
ReplyDeleteI feel very similar around Mother's day both about my Mom and Mother in law. My mother in law's birthday was near or on Mother's day (5/15) so the holiday itself brings up a lot of emotions.
I also end up thinking of Terry Pratchett when I think about those who have passed on and are important to me. In Terry Pratchett's Going Postal (book), the operators of the clacks tower use “GNU” as a code to mean the message should be passed onto every tower, and it's become commonplace for those who are a fan of his work to say "gnu Terry Pratchett" as a sort of way to say he continues to live on every time we talk about him or bring up one of the books. Like the concept of a person doesn't really die until the last people who remembers them does, and the 'gnu' is sort of a way of saying we're still rememberin. They're still with us.
So GNU Ralph Sr, we remember you! GNU Barbara Jo! We remember you both.
That's so sweet of you, dear. Thank you. And you inspire me to look up Terry, etc.
DeleteOur parents leave inedible imprints on our hearts. I miss my Dad very much and think of him often. I loved these photos of your Dad.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne
I know how much you miss and love your father. And deservedly so. He was a special man.
DeleteIt's often difficult to remember that our parents were people too, and not perfect. Your dad seems like he was a character when he was younger!
ReplyDeleteI think of my dad on his birthday, always, and on the day he died too.
Of course. My sympathy.
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