The Prom Project

All of us face obstacles in life.  Too often, we succumb to them.  That joyless result is not inevitable, however; we can strive to leap over hurdles in our path.  My obstacle -- being considered male -- is larger than many impediments, but that only means that I need to dig deeper to overcome it.

Years ago when I started riding motorcycles, I saw a sticker among the hundreds of slogans available to bikers.  (We put stickers on our helmets.)  The sticker said, "It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood."  That message encourages me: it prompts me to re-live earlier experiences, this time in my true self.

I never got to go to a prom as a girl.  In adolescence, I craved the female prom experience.  Sadly, it wasn't a possibility.  Last December when people were making New Year's Eve resolutions, I mentioned on the blog that I've always harbored the dream of wearing  a prom dress.  Saying that out loud was a big step.  Acknowledging something deep in our heart is a little scary, especially when society doesn't accept it.  Later, in April, a reader named Michelle suggested to me that I live out this dream, to the extent I now can.  I thought about that suggestion, long and hard.

I then decided to do a Prom Project.  During the past two months, I've tried to re-create as much of the female prom experience as I can.  The process ended yesterday with an elaborate photoshoot that took extensive planning and effort to set up.
 
The photography was done by my talented friend Jamie.  My sweet friend Debbie did the makeup.  (You've seen how Debbie's makeup advice has improved my pictures since her first tutorial.)  My girlfriend Nicole attended the photoshoot to offer moral support -- and ended up holding a light-reflector.  :)  Robin provided support, as well.

I'm happy to report that I savored the process.  The preparations of selecting dresses, shoes and jewelry were very pleasurable.  I enjoyed visiting prom stores; I instantly sensed how full of energy and enthusiasm they are for feminine plumage.  I enjoyed picking out a dress after viewing dozens of websites and visiting several local stores; I even sketched ideas on what I wanted to narrow the choices.  I considered my body-shape -- or lack of one: I'm built like a brick with no curves so that presented a challenge.

The biggest decision was the dress: what should I get?  I was torn between short and long.  A short dress would look attractive and a long dress would indulge my fantasy of looking like a princess.  After thinking about it, I suddenly realized: why not get both!  I'm only taking pictures, not going to an actual prom, so there's no reason not to experience both types of dresses.  I bought two dresses, each of which appeals to me for a different reason.  Here they are.

The pleasure of planning the Prom Project was enhanced by sharing the excitement with my girlfriends.  I kept them informed on my ideas and the success of my efforts.  They offered valuable feedback on numerous points.  (Thanks, Debbie, for steering me away from the white shoes.)

Since I wanted this occasion to be special, I decided to get new jewelry specifically for it.  I like glittery diamond-style jewelry for its classic look and bought a new necklace, earrings and bracelet.  I also found a cute white leather clutch purse, which highlights my brightly-colored fingernails.  A prom outfit is not complete without flowers and my friend Nicole was thoughtful enough to present me with a gorgeous corsage.  I wore a silvery flower decoration in my hair to match the other jewelry.

I didn't expect the prom experience to become as realistic as it did.  A few days before the photoshoot, when everything was falling nicely into place, I suddenly got a pimple!!  AAAGGGHHH!!!  That hadn't happened to me in years.  Now, all I could imagine was that it was going to ruin everything; that you guys would be so focused on its gargantuan prominence that you wouldn't see anything else in the pictures.  I worried like an insecure teenage girl.  Of course, I was overreacting: the pimple went away by itself.  Whew!

I delight in little pleasures and this process presented many.  For example, I needed to take my measurements to determine my dress-size.  Previously, I've used a cold metal measuring-tape from my hardware toolkit.  I decided to splurge on a real cloth measuring-tape.  I went to the drugstore and found one in bright pink!  The color made me squeal with delight!  It was the happiest $2.79 I ever spent.

I also learned new things.  Debbie warned me to be careful not to pick a lipstick-color that would clash with my dress.  It never occurred to me to coordinate makeup and clothing like that.

The process was also a catalyst for visiting new stores and areas of stores I've never seen: e.g., the handbag department; the beauty section.  I bought my earrings from company named Cinderella's Pumpkin -- how perfect is that!

I'm told that prom is often a rite of passage for women; it's their first dip in all-out glamour.  I longed for a full immersion in beauty and fashion and, to the extent I could create it, I did.

After acquiring dresses and accessories, I staged a dress rehearsal.  Alone at home, I put on clothes, played nice music, danced around like a schoolgirl and imagined myself at a fancy ball.  I looked out the window waiting for a horse-drawn carriage to whisk me away.  :)

The Prom Project was joyous and fun.  I enjoyed it; I learned from it; and I want to share it with you.  I hope you like the pictures as much as I enjoyed creating them.

After the photoshoot, I realized my dresses had only been worn once, with no alterations, so it'd be a shame to put them in a closet.  I've decided to donate them to a local organization which provides free prom-dresses to girls from poor families.  I hope these dresses find new life and bring joy to someone else.

I'm eager to hear what you think of my idea and its execution.