I read non-fiction but, on occasion, I'll prospect in fiction for nuggets of truth or wisdom. I found one today while reading a story in Harper's Magazine ("Slingshot," May 2018).
The narrator is a 70-year old woman who's describing her sexual affair with a 32-year old male neighbor. At one point, she says something that rings true:
I went home and was surprised to find Rose there. She asked me where I had been,
said she knew that I was spending a lot of time with that guy next door. She said,
"He's never going to love you, you know. Have you forgotten how old you are?
Look at all your wrinkles." That's the thing about being old. We don't know
we have wrinkles until we see them. Old is a thing that happens outside. A thing
other people see about us.
Yup.
I was watching an old 90's flick Fried Green Tomatoes and this struck me so hard when Kathy Bates character said "I'm too young to be old, but too old to be young"
ReplyDeleteThat pretty much sums up what I'm feeling this moment. I look in the mirror, my face is familiar, but in my mind's eye I still see the vibrant 25 year old, not the 50's something face staring back at me. My mind also thinks it's younger than my years, but I quickly realize when I am doing something physical that I am definitely in my 50's, I certainly don't bounce like I used to and after a heavy teaching and work schedule and lack of days off, my body keeps telling me "Hey lady you need to chill a little or I'm going to keep making you feel tired and achy". Yup I'm old. Age is not a state of mind, I'm not saying live like an old person, but listen to the cues that the body gives. Yup I'm old.
Exactly. Let's find comfort in company. :-)
Delete<3
DeleteIt's funny when we look and realise that suddenly we are much older! I was looking at photos of me from 3 years ago and suddenly, I noticed how much I had changed and I didn't really know it!!
ReplyDeletex
P.S. You look lovely!
That's been happening to me constantly lately. In the past ten years, my physical body has been changing every year. Thanks for the compliment: now I really need it!
DeleteI carry a picture in my head of how I look - it is an unpleasant reality when I actually catch myself in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteMy experience as well. I say, let's do away with mirrors!
DeleteWe don't realize the toll the passage of time has taken until we look at old photos of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWas that really me?
With each year that passes of course it's only going to escalate. Something to look forward to. Ha!
Suzanne
So true. I look now at pictures of me in my forties and think how young I looked. At the time, I thought I was an old young person.
DeleteI just this: We don't know we have wrinkles until we see them. Old is a thing that happens outside. A thing other people see about us.
ReplyDeleteTime just whirrs away when we're older, isn't that funny because I'm sure we all once thought when we were younger just how exciting it would be to grow up and be an adult. Now I want nothing more than a slow down or pause button.
Exactly! When I was in my twenties, I grew a moustache hoping it would make me look older. Now I wish I looked younger. What's the sweet spot? 33?
DeleteYou're so right in that we don't realize we are growing old and that it is something that happens outside of us. I still think of myself as young, well, younger than I am actually am. Can't believe I'll be 57 this year. That can't be right! When I was 18, I thought 30 was old. I'm often wondering how 18-year-olds see 50 something me ... xxx
ReplyDeleteBack in the Sixties, we said "Don't trust anyone over 30!"
DeleteYou do look lovely! I totally relate about time passing by too quickly...I am always looking at my face in the mirror and I wish time could just stop, ahahah...especially wrinkles at the eye contour bug me. Growing old is difficult for everyone I suppose...good thing we stay young on the inside! Kisses
ReplyDeleteFashion and Cookies - fashion and beauty blog
I always loved the crowsfeet older people had, I thought it meant they were really happy and couldn't wait until mine began to show...well... they are! At least wrinkles are human, better than being all botoxed up and fake looking :)
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