My biggest client died. He was old, so it's not as sad as when a young person dies, but still... Just a few weeks ago, I met with him and he seemed normal and alive. Now he's not. Wow...
We take life for granted, but shouldn't. The gift of life is precious and fleeting. If you were aware that your time on Earth was limited (as it is), would you live any differently? That awareness informs my daily life as I'm always conscious of my mortality.
I strive to live each day as if it's the last, because we just never know.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that. Funerals are never easy, no matter what your connection is to the deceased.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm still kind of in the "I'm immortal, death won't affect me or anyone I know/love" stage of life. When I try to think about the reality of death, I tend to have panic attacks...or sometimes an anxiety attack will trigger the whole "fear of death" thing.
I am aware that my time is limited.. that's why I live like I like to live ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with death tho - I sound horrible but when someone dies, I think he just changes from one form to another. It's always very sad when an young person dies tho, and the fact that people will miss the deceased one just tells that he was appreciated - even if missing someone is painful.
I think that I am just reaching that point where I realise my life might be half over even if I live to be old and that is a bit startling. While it is always tragic when a young person dies, the loss of an elderly person can still be hard too. I miss my grandma although it is of course not possible that she would or could be alive today. My dad is in his mid seventies and starting to feel his age a bit and it's showing. I am in a bit of shock over that too, realising I might not have him for too much longer.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear, you're so right about taking life for granted.
ReplyDeleteSix weeks ago my husband was (out of the blue) diagnosed with stage IV non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Our lives were turned upside down. Each week is a dominated by chemo sessions and medical appointments. Nothing can hone your skill at prioritising like this. And yet through it all there is a lot of (unexpected) laughter and joy. It is a period of grace where we are required to contemplate our mortality while trying to fight for his life. We both have elderly parents so this is especially tough on them (and of course our adult sons). But in all of this there is privilege: I am grateful to live in a country with universal (gold standard) health care and work at an institution that has allowed me to change so that I only need go in once a week and the rest of my work I do from home. We no longer take anything for granted least of all each other. You will be in my thoughts for today.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Lynette. My wishes go out to you and your husband.
Deletei would definitely live differently if i knew my time was limited....so, it does make you wonder, why not LIVE everyday, right?? last couple years i have tried to do something different/new every month as a start.
ReplyDeleteOur situation is unchanged, only our attitude about it changes. Starting a decade ago, I vowed to live every day fully, to extract all the life I could out of the time I have left.
DeleteI'm sorry about your client. Sometimes it hits me at vulnerable times how tenuous our lives are, but it just reminds me to live life at my own pace and not worry about living up to someone else's ideals, but respecting my own and respecting myself for the time I have.
ReplyDeleteThat's my philosophy, too. It's especially important for me because my individuality differs markedly from society's role for me.
DeleteDeath is always so sad and most certainly makes us rethink our daily routines. That is a good thing though. Being aware that our time is limited is necessary. Otherwise we take too much for granted.
ReplyDeleteI read something recently that said "Death is just as big of a miracle as Life". I find that comforting to a certain degree. Of course it never brings back those we miss.
Hugs to you.
bisous
Suzanne
On the 23rd of this month I lost my boss of 6 plus years to cancer. He had worked up until about 2 months prior and I'd just seen him a couple of weeks or so before when he popped into the office. He wasn't well...but it is still a shock. Not real. He was such a great guy and boss. All his patients really and truly liked him and he helped them a so much. I don't write much about my work life on my blog, but your post spurred me to open up and share your grief. It is very jarring when you've recently seen someone...and then somehow so quickly they're gone. Just not here any more.
ReplyDeleteMy life is not too exciting, but I try to focus it on my close relationships and the love that I hold dear to my heart. Those things are what mean the most to me in my everyday life. My job is a job (part time the way I like it) but I've sure been blessed to work with some great people that make it a good experience.
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. I know exactly what you mean. While I wasn't close to my client, I saw him often and recently. The idea that someone alive one moment can be dead the next shocks me. I saw him in a casket yesterday and that sight shook me deeply.
DeleteI'm deeply sorry for your loss, Ally. I know what you mean about there being an unnerving quality when you reflect on having lost someone who you just saw mere days or weeks ago. That will forever be how I feel when I look back on the last time I ever spent time with one of my great-grandmothers. Though I was fairly young at the time, the impact of knowing that it was our last encounter on earth somehow imprinted almost every moment of that time together onto my memory for (I hope) ever, including that the star conversation of the day was that we both loved many of the same lunch foods (including tomato soup).
ReplyDelete♥ Jessica
When we're fully aware of impending death, our attention and memory increase to full-alert. As you say, those moments become indelible. That attitude is how we should be all the time, because we never know what's lurking around the corner.
DeleteI am very sorry to hear that. I'm pleased to see you are reinforcing a positive message about never taking things for granted. I am always surprised by how quickly things can changed, it is really scary.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your client. We never know when someone will be taken from us. My brother-in-law died at age 35 of a sudden heart attack...it was a major shock and a reminder that life can be very short. I think it's important to tell the people we care about that we love them every single day.
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Cookbook Giveaway!
Death is so common yet always surprising.
ReplyDeleteI think that we take things and people for granted and that every time a person passes away it's a small reminder that we shouldn't'- I am sorry about your client, I am certain that for someone like you with such a big heart, he was not just a client.
death is always... overwhelming. Even if person if old, sick or old and sick at the same time you don't think this person dies today. Like I know it would happen and probably soon but not today. I do know that my time is limited but do I actually realize it? Do we understand one's death the moment we know about it or in time?
ReplyDeleteIn early Match my colleague of 2 and half years died. He was 32 - that's not the age at all. I felt very sorry his family and myself as we were more then colleague, more like friends. it wasn't painful for me to realize he is now dead (it never is as I strongly believe when don't vanish) but mostly that it actually happened that way. Thinking that I saw him at about 6 o'clock when leaving office and in just couple of hours he was gone. We probably should be more careful about ourselves but if knew the day I die I wouldn't change my life much, I'd just wanted to make sure it wasn't the time period when I haven't seen my nearest and dearest for long due to some reasons.
realizing your life is short is sharp right after death of someone, it could be a turning point. like quitting the job you dislike, move to new place, finally make your stupid wish come true (parachute jump or sewing lessons) or simply dye your hair green.
I'm very sorry for your loss. you must feel terrible.
DeleteI'm not sure why, but sudden deaths (at least, ones we did not expect to happen) are somehow so much worse. One day the person is there, a part of the tapestry of your life, and then there's a hole, whether large or small, its presence is undeniable. Perhaps watching someone slowly fade away doesn't leave such a gaping wound behind, just a well worn empty place?
ReplyDeleteAnd during such jarring experiences, when someone is torn away, you can't help but think that your time on this planet is just as finite and limited, but as long as you live a life with as little regret as possible (ie live the way you want to live), then there is some comfort in recognizing your mortality.
Sorry to hear about this. I think it's important to enjoy the journey you take as you build towards the life you want. You have a goal in mind but not the urge to just drop everything and live irresponsibly or dangerously.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your client's passing.
ReplyDeleteMy dad died when I was 16 (he was 38...so young!). That's a hard lesson to learn so young and I try to live every day making choices that will make me (and him!) proud.
Lisa.