This isn't Arnold's first infidelity. He has admitted to groping women in public and there are several other women who say they had sex with him. Previously, Maria conceded that Arnold sometimes acts badly toward women but she accepted his behavior. This incident, however, went too far for her.
Today's topic is:
How Important Is Sexual Fidelity To A Relationship?
How Would You React To News Like This?
I would be heartbroken and I would leave him. Also this is way more than an affair. He had a child with her. I couldn't ever trust again a man that kept an entire part of his life, a child!, from me like that.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, I maybe able to resurrect a marriage that had a bit of cheating in the past, though I doubt it. However, this is awful.
Sexual fidelity is crucial to a relationship. More often, it's not the extramarital sex that tears the relationship apart. Rather it's the deception and breach of trust.I would do what she did.....end the relationship. ~Serene
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty certain I would never be able to forgive sexual infidelity; I was cheated on in a past relationship and it was utterly humiliating. But what's odd about Maria and Arnold's relationship is that he was already a known womanizer, and quite possibly a sexual predator, from the get-go. Why she overlooked that past history and couldn't get past this strikes me as inconsistent. I suspect there was more to it; the marriage was probably faltering anyway and this was simply one insult too many. But of course it's scandalous and so the press loves to focus on it. Either way the guy is a scumbag -- but again, he always was.
ReplyDeleteIf it were me in her shoes, I've have kicked him to the curb years and years ago -- after the FIRST instance of him behaving badly towards women.
i think if you love and respect someone then you should be able to stay faithful. if you are cheating its because there are things missing in the relationship which means you should probably end it. plus what is a relationship without trust?
ReplyDeleteI think all is fair in love and war. No one can judge what happens in another relationship and behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteMy husband, on the other hand, is a hard-wired monogamist. We often have reversals on traditional gender roles in our relationship.
I do not envy this couple the media attention on their marital issues.
How would I deal with it? I think we'd manage. We've dealt with a lot. And this may sound stupid, but is there really any difference between an infidelity that results in a child and one that doesn't?
I asked hubby and he says he'd divorce me. Interesting. Zero tolerance.
How important is it to me?
ReplyDeleteFor me - It is one of the pillars that makes an intimate partnership something more than a platonic relationship. It is of utmost importance.
More so than the act of sex itself, I find the emotional aspects of cheating the killer. The idea that you were disrespected or not held in the highest regard by your partner is the thing that would kill me. The idea that your mate would be willing to sacrifice your trust is the ultimate betrayal.
I do not believe I would be able to recover from a scar that deep. I would have to leave.
Definitely important. I do not think I would believe a woman who says it is not important to her, without some catch to that statement.
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I would have been devastated if I had found out the news as well. I feel she has stood by him in so many other discretions and tried to stay to make her marriage work.
ReplyDeleteI hope she can move on and find some love...
I wouldn't tolerate any of that behavior. I don't understand how any woman does. I just feel it would bring too much stress on someone and lower their self-esteem. If you feel the need to have sex or even grope someone else. Then don't be with anyone, don't get married, don't lead someone into thinking you are committed to them. It just isn't right...unless both sides are into Polygamy.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Shayla.
ReplyDeleteI would leave anyone who cheated on me. Even Arnold even though he was pervious my favorite human. (Pumping Iron is still my favorite movie though haha). I don't understand why people have the mentality where they believe that they can't stay with one person. I think that they should learn to be satisfied when they have a good thing, and if they can't see when they do, then you're not worth their time.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd get news like that... For me choosing the right partner comes down to knowing and appreciating yourself. If you do that, then it's impossible to tolerate such a behavior. I also believe it's a woman's "job" to protect herself and create a nurturing and loving relationship.. However shit happen and if your man is like that just dump him on the spot... Seriously! I think both of Arnie's women had low self-esteem issues. And I never liked the guy anyway!! (him and that creep - Mel Gibson!)
ReplyDeleteI also want to add that if you stick to an abusive relationship just because you want to be perceived as a loyal person and try to "save your marriage", that's even lamer than what Arnold did... This is just a lie, don't say that to yourselves. There are two people in a marriage!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I think that such behaviors allow men to treat us like dirt and I believe in equal rights. (I actually believe women are superior, but let's not make a fuss about it...!)
It depends on what you agreed on before. If the relationship is an open one (which I know some people handle just fine), okay - though I'd at least want to be informed, and a kid with someone else is definitely a degree more intense than just sex with someone else. If exclusivity was part of the deal (which is my personal preference), I'd end the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young, foolish, and had more self-esteem issues than I do now, I stuck with a guy who cheated on me (and, it appears, routinely flirted with others) because I believed that being loyal, forgiving, and saving the relationship was my job, but I have since painfully recognized this as complete bogus and this experience actually contributed to my "feminist awakening" :). With Arnie and Mrs. Shriver, it's a bit different though because their relationship was not only personal, but also a business/political alliance; so her sticking with him despite his repeated offenses was most likely not due to personal feelings of low self-worth, but to strategy...
I would never be able to forgive something like this. I don't know how women are able to forgive it. And if a man knows that he can't be mature enough to be with just one woman then don't get into a serious relationship where you'll end up hurting and possibly changing someone to the worst.
ReplyDeleteCould write a few paragraphs! Short 'n sweet - I feel for her, yet at the same time, who knows, she may have given him the ultimatum, yet he chose to continue behaving in a certain way.
ReplyDeleteEveryone's relationship is unique and who's to say what goes on in others lives and why they make the choices they do. I have a friend that has an open BDSM relationship, I however could not tolerate that. For me trust and respect are very important. To add insult to injury, it seems that the mistress and child where part of their daily lives, how strange for all involved. I feel sorry for that child that had no choice in this matter.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely disgraceful behaviour, I couldnt even forgive an affair without a child if I loved that person. I think maybe they stuck together until he was actually out of office and enough was enough, she was like a lot of other politicians wives that seem to stay in he marriage for the sake of their husbands career! xx
ReplyDeleteGross. Gross. Gross.
ReplyDeleteCheaters piss me off. If you're in a relationship, you have to be honest with your spouse. Monogomy isn't what I'm talking about. If you want to be with one or more person that's your choice... but LYING to your spouse about your desires is what disgusts me. BLAH.
As you can tell I would spaz if I heard the news that my love lied to me.
I think the things Arnold has done are horrific. Maria shouldn't have stayed with him for this long. I think fidelity is important in a marriage and relationship because so much of the relationship is built on trust. I would have been heartbroken and left him too.
ReplyDeleteI would seriously chop off Mr. A's balls if he ever cheated on me.
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Twitter: @GlamKitten88
First, I would act real calm... then I'd explode and cry and beat my husband's ass. Yeah, that. But honestly, I would simply be heartbroken, and I feel like I would have no choice but to leave him... Luckily, my husband is faithful and honest and we're a team raising our daughter! I feel blessed.
ReplyDeleteFidelity is BIG for me. BIG.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it has to be a deal breaker, and I'm sure there are lots of situations where I would condone it (or maybe practice it). But I think in Arnie's case, he must be a real skeeze. I'm sure his wife just got tired of forgiving and forgiving, and getting deceived again, and the child was probably the final straw.
ReplyDeleteMy instinct is to say it's a total deal-breaker, particularly if you're not already married...for God's sake, don't marry a cheater and expect him not to do it again. But every situation is different, and I don't know that it could just be cut and dry for all situations. I do know of a couple where the husband cheated after maaaany years of marriage, and they worked on things and are happier than ever. So, again, it just all depends. The older I get, the more I realize how human we all are, but no, I'm not saying that excuses it. I think "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies to most people but not all. *You have to think enough of yourself* to know when you're being a doormat and when the other person is genuinely repentant and won't do it again. IF I were able to forgive it, the person would have to do a hell of a lot to re-earn my trust.
ReplyDeleteAnd I might add, abuse of ANY kind (physical, sexual, emotional, verbal) should NEVER NEVER NEVER be tolerated. Period.
For this situation, I'd venture to say it would be more about the secrets and the hiding. It's true that cheating is still cheating whether or not a child comes out of it...but to me, it does make things different because if you know about the child and hide it, it's like a whole extra level of betrayal...you're hiding a whole person's existence from the person who's supposed to be able to trust you.
Interesting...just now when I typed the word "trust," I accidentally typed "tryst" first! How appropriate for this. lol
This is a tough one. I think Maria held on for too long.
ReplyDeleteHowever not to be judgemental you have got be in that person's skin to make the choice.
We must remember that people show us only the things they want us to see.... so it's a real slippery situation.