The older I get, the less I care about what others think. If that's the sort of fear you mean. If you mean "will I go into a room I know is full of giant spiders" sort of fear. I will let fear stop me.
Often, yea. I'm not afraid of what people might think of me. I'm more afraid of the other possibilities like failure or someone else doing the exact same thing yet doing it much better than I possibly could.
Sure... moreso over the last couple years, because we moved to a small town, and people misinterpret things.
I never worried about that before, but Hubby worries about perception. Probably because neither of us are locals, and neither of us is accustomed to small-town life... and gossip.
Tricky question... I feel that I'm struggling with my fears all the time. I'm the kind of person that although scared of many things, I ignore my fears and act anyway. With this technique I'm actually doing things that are scary to most people (e.g. my job..), but over the years I noticed that this is a way to actually allow your fears to grow inside you and sometimes consume you. Do I make any sense to anyone BTW? In all, maybe fears ARE THERE TO STOP YOU anyway and you shouldn't ignore them?!? What do you think?
I used to all the time but recently I've gone ahead anyway.
I'm in my forties and have just retrained and got myself my first job since I had my oldest child ten years ago. I also started running and ran a 10k last summer and will be running a half marathon this summer.
I've spent a lot of time out of my comfort zone but it has been worth it.
I kind of hate to admit this, but I do. And I really wish I could just do everything I want to withour feeling any fear. I am almost finished with my last year at university and I don't really know what will happen when I'm finished and that scares me. And I'm afraid that I might choose the wrong path for me when I'm finished or regret not doing something. So now I feel like I'm not going anywhere, just hoping that will change soon.
Yep, I guess I still do. It's gotten better though. I spent a larger part of my teenage and adult life trying to fit in, to meet expectations, and the fear of not succeeding made me do things I didn't really want to do, or kept me from doing things I wanted to do. For about a year now, I've been focussing on doing what I want and getting where I want to get even if it's scary, and I must say I'm quite successful. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to have my wisdom teeth out :)
Yes. The answer to "what" is fairly abstract or I don't have the insight to really share. Most mornings I wake up with fears and anxieties about the day. I have fears about how I look, job/school performance, the impression I leave with others and rejection.
Sometimes. I used to be really afraid of doing things for the first time by myself, going places alone, etc. Now I find myself doing more and more things on my own :)
Public speaking. I'm the queen of puking before public speaking. It's horrifying to me. However, since I delivered the eulogy at my grandfather's funeral in December, I feel a bit more confident. Nothing can be as difficult as that. And it's weird because I am a very outgoing person, but large crowds really freak me the eff out when I am expected to speak in front of them.
I try not to fear anything... I'll get anxious or nervous but then force myself to do something and realize that it isn't a big deal. I think it's the only way to live... take risks!! Life is too short :)
Definitely. But the older I get the less fear I have. I've walked through some of my fears which has made other fears disappear as well. It's odd how that happens. I'm sure there are many more fears to conquer and I'm up for the challenge.
Nope, and it's a problem sometimes. While I do suffer from clinical anxiety, I rarely experience the type of useful fear (caution?) that keeps them from doing things that are stupid and/or unsafe. IE don't jump out of a plane. Therefore, well, I jump out of planes! Haha. There's a fine line between fearless and idiotic and I regularly sidle over it. Then I stick my tongue out at it. Cuz I'm totally mature like that.
BTW, if I ever get another tattoo, it will say "Fear No Truth". Because I think the truth is what people fear more than anything.
I used to. Oh, did I ever. I used to love singing in public and then quit when I became paralyzed by anxiety and what others would think of me. Now I'm not really afraid to but just haven't put myself in many positions to do it. Oddly, public speaking is not something I've ever struggled with, though. It was one of my favorite classes in college, and I didn't mind it even in high school.
When my anxiety was at its worst years ago, there was a period when I was even too afraid to go to the grocery store alone! I'm miles past that now and do it all the time. Like Sara, though, sometimes I do still get a little nervous doing new things or going new places alone, even though it is normal nerves and nowhere near the anxiety of my past. When going somewhere new, I would always rather ride with someone else than drive. However, I recently flew by myself and wasn't very nervous at all; in fact, I really enjoyed it! I wondered if I'd be able to navigate the airports without getting lost and panicked, but I did completely fine. I would have missed out on an amazing time and such a feeling of accomplishment if I had let my fear keep me from going.
Onto bigger "life" things...it would be very easy to be afraid to become a mother, but it's not stopping me. I remarried after a bad first marriage and am happy as a lark. I got a nose ring, after several days of watching YouTube videos as I sweated. ;) I got two tattoos. My life, mostly since my mom died, has largely been my proactive journey of overcoming fears, large and small. I struggle with SOME kind of fear daily, but I've learned how to manage them and not let them control me anymore.
I agree with the others who said it eased as they got older. As you get into your late 20s, early 30s, I think that's when most people really start coming into their own and realizing that they are comfortable in who they are without worrying anymore about what people will think of them. I definitely believe this can happen at ANY stage of life, earlier or later, to those who seek it out, however. (Of course, therein lies one of the purposes of our blog!)
Life's too short to let your fears run you. Like I said, I really realized this after my mom died too young. I decided I was going to do everything I wanted to do and never regret not doing them when I'm older because one day it will be too late to do them. The pangs of regret are so much worse than the initial fears. You could try something and get ridiculed and at least have the satisfaction of being brave enough to try, or you could look back longingly and wonder "what if I had only..." Trust me, the latter is so much more painful.
One of my goals is to stop fear from controlling my life. I watched so many episodes of Criminal Minds that I am hypervigilant to the point of paranoia that I will be killed on a daily basis. I am also terrified of failure, so I sometimes stay in a job just because it's safe. I'm improving though- I left a full time job with benefits for a 2 month contract simply to get out of a rut.
No........never. Whenever I feel fear peaking its head out....I just close my eyes and think....will I regret being afraid and not doing this before I die? If the answer is Yes....then to hell with fear. :)
I almost miss this!!! Oh no...not at all. I may be shy in the crowd but my will inside me is very strong, I never give up on something I really want to do! But I do not push through anything that is going to result into trouble or anything wrong. I always choose the right and reasonable thing......we only live once...live like you are dying.
Fear from what others believe, yes definitely! It’s sad to think about how often we limit ourselves as human beings because of what others might think. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter at all. I’ve started this new thing: As long as I don’t hurt anyone I should do it if it feels right. It's a rule I like to live by...
Sadly, all of the time. It's a hard habit I haven't learned how to train out of me.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get, the less I care about what others think. If that's the sort of fear you mean. If you mean "will I go into a room I know is full of giant spiders" sort of fear. I will let fear stop me.
ReplyDeleteOften, yea. I'm not afraid of what people might think of me. I'm more afraid of the other possibilities like failure or someone else doing the exact same thing yet doing it much better than I possibly could.
ReplyDeleteSure... moreso over the last couple years, because we moved to a small town, and people misinterpret things.
ReplyDeleteI never worried about that before, but Hubby worries about perception. Probably because neither of us are locals, and neither of us is accustomed to small-town life... and gossip.
I hate that.
Yes all the time.
ReplyDeleteTricky question... I feel that I'm struggling with my fears all the time. I'm the kind of person that although scared of many things, I ignore my fears and act anyway. With this technique I'm actually doing things that are scary to most people (e.g. my job..), but over the years I noticed that this is a way to actually allow your fears to grow inside you and sometimes consume you. Do I make any sense to anyone BTW? In all, maybe fears ARE THERE TO STOP YOU anyway and you shouldn't ignore them?!? What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI used to all the time but recently I've gone ahead anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm in my forties and have just retrained and got myself my first job since I had my oldest child ten years ago. I also started running and ran a 10k last summer and will be running a half marathon this summer.
I've spent a lot of time out of my comfort zone but it has been worth it.
I kind of hate to admit this, but I do. And I really wish I could just do everything I want to withour feeling any fear. I am almost finished with my last year at university and I don't really know what will happen when I'm finished and that scares me. And I'm afraid that I might choose the wrong path for me when I'm finished or regret not doing something. So now I feel like I'm not going anywhere, just hoping that will change soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the Hitchcock post below. I'm a big big fan. And drop by me too, soon.
ReplyDeleteCheers.
Yep, I guess I still do. It's gotten better though. I spent a larger part of my teenage and adult life trying to fit in, to meet expectations, and the fear of not succeeding made me do things I didn't really want to do, or kept me from doing things I wanted to do. For about a year now, I've been focussing on doing what I want and getting where I want to get even if it's scary, and I must say I'm quite successful. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to have my wisdom teeth out :)
ReplyDeleteYes. The answer to "what" is fairly abstract or I don't have the insight to really share. Most mornings I wake up with fears and anxieties about the day. I have fears about how I look, job/school performance, the impression I leave with others and rejection.
ReplyDeleteBattling fear is exhausting.
Sometimes. I used to be really afraid of doing things for the first time by myself, going places alone, etc. Now I find myself doing more and more things on my own :)
ReplyDeleteI do really, but I try not to :)
ReplyDelete♥
Fashezine
Public speaking.
ReplyDeleteI'm the queen of puking before public speaking.
It's horrifying to me.
However, since I delivered the eulogy at my grandfather's funeral in December, I feel a bit more confident. Nothing can be as difficult as that.
And it's weird because I am a very outgoing person, but large crowds really freak me the eff out when I am expected to speak in front of them.
http://glamkittenslitterbox.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
I try not to fear anything... I'll get anxious or nervous but then force myself to do something and realize that it isn't a big deal. I think it's the only way to live... take risks!! Life is too short :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. But the older I get the less fear I have. I've walked through some of my fears which has made other fears disappear as well. It's odd how that happens. I'm sure there are many more fears to conquer and I'm up for the challenge.
ReplyDeletexo,
Tracy
Nope, and it's a problem sometimes. While I do suffer from clinical anxiety, I rarely experience the type of useful fear (caution?) that keeps them from doing things that are stupid and/or unsafe. IE don't jump out of a plane. Therefore, well, I jump out of planes! Haha. There's a fine line between fearless and idiotic and I regularly sidle over it. Then I stick my tongue out at it. Cuz I'm totally mature like that.
ReplyDeleteBTW, if I ever get another tattoo, it will say "Fear No Truth". Because I think the truth is what people fear more than anything.
I used to. Oh, did I ever. I used to love singing in public and then quit when I became paralyzed by anxiety and what others would think of me. Now I'm not really afraid to but just haven't put myself in many positions to do it. Oddly, public speaking is not something I've ever struggled with, though. It was one of my favorite classes in college, and I didn't mind it even in high school.
ReplyDeleteWhen my anxiety was at its worst years ago, there was a period when I was even too afraid to go to the grocery store alone! I'm miles past that now and do it all the time. Like Sara, though, sometimes I do still get a little nervous doing new things or going new places alone, even though it is normal nerves and nowhere near the anxiety of my past. When going somewhere new, I would always rather ride with someone else than drive. However, I recently flew by myself and wasn't very nervous at all; in fact, I really enjoyed it! I wondered if I'd be able to navigate the airports without getting lost and panicked, but I did completely fine. I would have missed out on an amazing time and such a feeling of accomplishment if I had let my fear keep me from going.
Onto bigger "life" things...it would be very easy to be afraid to become a mother, but it's not stopping me. I remarried after a bad first marriage and am happy as a lark. I got a nose ring, after several days of watching YouTube videos as I sweated. ;) I got two tattoos. My life, mostly since my mom died, has largely been my proactive journey of overcoming fears, large and small. I struggle with SOME kind of fear daily, but I've learned how to manage them and not let them control me anymore.
I agree with the others who said it eased as they got older. As you get into your late 20s, early 30s, I think that's when most people really start coming into their own and realizing that they are comfortable in who they are without worrying anymore about what people will think of them. I definitely believe this can happen at ANY stage of life, earlier or later, to those who seek it out, however. (Of course, therein lies one of the purposes of our blog!)
Life's too short to let your fears run you. Like I said, I really realized this after my mom died too young. I decided I was going to do everything I wanted to do and never regret not doing them when I'm older because one day it will be too late to do them. The pangs of regret are so much worse than the initial fears. You could try something and get ridiculed and at least have the satisfaction of being brave enough to try, or you could look back longingly and wonder "what if I had only..." Trust me, the latter is so much more painful.
the narcissists' diary / the closet narcissist
One of my goals is to stop fear from controlling my life. I watched so many episodes of Criminal Minds that I am hypervigilant to the point of paranoia that I will be killed on a daily basis. I am also terrified of failure, so I sometimes stay in a job just because it's safe. I'm improving though- I left a full time job with benefits for a 2 month contract simply to get out of a rut.
ReplyDeleteNo........never. Whenever I feel fear peaking its head out....I just close my eyes and think....will I regret being afraid and not doing this before I die? If the answer is Yes....then to hell with fear. :)
ReplyDeleteLove
Tashrin
I almost miss this!!!
ReplyDeleteOh no...not at all. I may be shy in the crowd but my will inside me is very strong, I never give up on something I really want to do! But I do not push through anything that is going to result into trouble or anything wrong. I always choose the right and reasonable thing......we only live once...live like you are dying.
Fear from what others believe, yes definitely! It’s sad to think about how often we limit ourselves as human beings because of what others might think. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter at all. I’ve started this new thing: As long as I don’t hurt anyone I should do it if it feels right. It's a rule I like to live by...
ReplyDeleteWell, yes certainly and unfortunately -
ReplyDeleteNow a little less than before.