tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post1332280932780415647..comments2024-03-27T21:17:11.920-04:00Comments on Shybiker: Your Mom and Your ClothesShybikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-83916153981668944142016-12-28T16:07:42.505-05:002016-12-28T16:07:42.505-05:00I have seen photos of my self and my brothers dres...I have seen photos of my self and my brothers dressed in similar fashion complete with the bow ties and hats. Like you I also had to play the accordion.<br />PatPat Scaleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148601231866277374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-40293916218036650852014-11-07T09:40:16.259-05:002014-11-07T09:40:16.259-05:00Thank you for sharing. I understand your reaction...Thank you for sharing. I understand your reaction.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-50880302421947626192014-11-07T02:03:05.498-05:002014-11-07T02:03:05.498-05:00My mum chose what clothes were bought and often ch...My mum chose what clothes were bought and often chose each day what I was to wear. This continued until I was married at 22. She basically used me as her doll and dressed me up to show me off. It was totally disempowering and it has only been in recent years that I have worked through a lot of pent up frustrations. nothing lasted long and nothing was off limits to her and catalogue time was hell as she would pick out cute items. Modesty, the weather or the activities were never a consideration. Cuteness, smartness and being noticed were more important. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-7442573804905338202013-03-07T07:47:52.959-05:002013-03-07T07:47:52.959-05:00We all had to dress in miniature matching outfits....We all had to dress in miniature matching outfits. I dislike sailor dresses and suits to this day...Selinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18215629620223943455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-73843398637768662562012-08-31T13:49:10.986-04:002012-08-31T13:49:10.986-04:00Thanks for sharing!Thanks for sharing!Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-37795189730967174302012-08-31T12:31:20.086-04:002012-08-31T12:31:20.086-04:00My mom picked out my clothes until adolescence I t...My mom picked out my clothes until adolescence I think. And even after that she was constantly picking at me about my clothes. I didn't want to be that way with my daughter. I just didn't think it would happen so early! My daughter, who is now 11, had very definite ideas about her clothing since about age 5. So I went with it. I can see where some of the mothers are coming from because it's hard to go from picking out clothes for your child anytime it fits in your schedule, to only shopping when the child is with you so they can help. At first I hated it because I would see so many "cute" things I'd like to get for her, that I knew she wouldn't wear. I'm used to it now though! I give her limits and she picks what she wants within those limits.<br /><br />Interesting post! Very cute picture of the little suits on you and your brother.Sunflower77noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-88768059154969067832012-08-31T11:21:11.149-04:002012-08-31T11:21:11.149-04:00Great answer, buddy. Exactly what I was hoping to...Great answer, buddy. Exactly what I was hoping to elicit. This subject brings up the complex mother-daughter dynamic in an important way and, although I never had that experience, I assume most girls did and I want to hear and learn from their lives, as you describe yours. Thanks.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-75675248826233570312012-08-30T17:18:03.445-04:002012-08-30T17:18:03.445-04:00Ally, this post has been on my mind for days! You ...Ally, this post has been on my mind for days! You have such a gift for posing richly evocative questions. <br /><br />So many factors have been at play in my connection with my mother and style - mom's family history, the era she grew up in, the knowledge she accumulated having a seamstress for a mother, feminism and other cultural forces, her career, farming, punk / alt / the '80's, the loss (to me) of knowledge about garment fit and construction and figure flattery along with all kinds of other arcane women's wisdoms and practices, my realizing early on that I would never meet conventional "beauty" standards or fit in to the mainstream and thereby accessing certain freedoms but at certain costs, and so on. <br /><br />By age 13 and through my teens, there were multiple battles royale, with plenty of mutual rejection and very painful misunderstandings along the way. Somehow, over the past 8-10 years, we've managed to develop a deep mutual admiration for each other's distinct style, and we absolutely love shopping together. Though she hasn't yet seen my blog, she was moved to hear that right from the start I needed the "a gift from my mother" tag. She has fantastic taste. <br /><br />Were you ever an adorable little one! And what complex stories we all have. Thank you so much, Ally, for another thought-provoking discussion. <br /><br />Amber of Butane Anvilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17085975055424100573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-53428684817039261552012-08-30T02:55:27.802-04:002012-08-30T02:55:27.802-04:00I think my mom tried to dress me more prim and pro...I think my mom tried to dress me more prim and proper...at least I always think of her as being more neat and classic. I, on the other hand, wanted to dress like a hippie. My strongest recollection of our fashion clashing was when I was in 4th grade. My grandmother had sewn me a maxi skirt (which I loved) and must have gotten me a pair of platform shoes (because I KNOW my mother didn't buy them for me). One morning before school we had a struggle about me wearing those shoes. I must have really been whining and griping about wearing them because next thing I knew the shoes were flying across the room (my mother had thrown them in a fit of exasperation with me) and shouted "Just go ahead and wear the GD hideous things then!" I laugh when I think about it now. Soon after that, when I was 9, I was able to go and live with my dad permanently. (They were divorced.) Then I felt free and SO much happier. It was what I had wanted most in the world.<br />And you did look quite adorable in that photo.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00733506378522968525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-5596078145380786812012-08-29T06:27:37.542-04:002012-08-29T06:27:37.542-04:00We wore what we wanted. I dressed like a boy, whic...We wore what we wanted. I dressed like a boy, which Mom hated. You do look like an immigrant in that shot. And the accordion? Wow.ToadMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04873763565941746536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-32830582719072981232012-08-28T19:27:45.215-04:002012-08-28T19:27:45.215-04:00You're right, although I'm doing my best t...You're right, although I'm doing my best to soften my part of it. But you know, maybe that's been true all along. Hmmm... BTW, love the wonderful vocabulary and thank you!!Jean at www.drossintogold.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089424590056521268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-22723124346450928522012-08-28T17:47:09.061-04:002012-08-28T17:47:09.061-04:00This photo is too cute, I dress pretty differently...This photo is too cute, I dress pretty differently than my mom...I wear skimpy for going out but pretty dressy for other situations. I want to enjoy wearing them while I can : )<br /><br />-Jaz<br />http://summerlilacs.blogspot.comJazminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02208839778111606997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-22928234467051818442012-08-28T15:47:20.895-04:002012-08-28T15:47:20.895-04:00You and your little brother are just the cutest th...You and your little brother are just the cutest things ever! <br /><br />I don't remember ever not having a choice in my clothing. Even when my Mom was clearly making my choices, I don't remember ever having an issue with it. I believe there was a period where I wanted some expensive item, that all the kids in school had, but I quickly got over it, and the fact that we couldn't afford it. I'm not sure if I dressed myself or I just agreed with the combinations. <br /><br />I know that at about 12/13, I took the reins completely. My Mom never said much about what I wore, just as long as it was appropriate for the event/location.MaggleBishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13184116728566243694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-30355641930826751762012-08-28T13:11:10.592-04:002012-08-28T13:11:10.592-04:00Such a cute picture! Childhood does render some pr...Such a cute picture! Childhood does render some pretty interesting clothing choices and outfits. A lot of the time, parents do the best with what they have. My father had no sense of style and usually I got dressed like a little boy and my hair didn't get brushed. My mother introduced me to skirts, dresses, ruffles, and braids. It was also an interesting mix... <br /><br />I don't remember when I started dressing myself, but it was before my teen years. I didn't have a sense of fashion back then, but I always felt better about dressing myself than letting my parents do it. I think there is a sense of independence that comes from it as a kid. I'll do my best to let me own kids pick out what they want to wear as well. Great topic to bring up, Ally!<br /><br />Callie<br />www.coffeeandcardigans.comCallie - Coffee and Cardiganshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07717331796524436480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-16908800264029769112012-08-28T13:00:59.014-04:002012-08-28T13:00:59.014-04:00I love that you put 'Don't believe me?'...I love that you put 'Don't believe me?' before putting the pic - I thought, how bad can it be.. Oh! But you look so cute now -looking back.<br /><br />I mainly wore my brother's hand me downs until I was about 7 or 8 then stuff fron my cousins (girls). I was a tomboy and was happy with all of that, plus I loved my handknitted jumpers. Reflecting a little, I still feel comforted in big woolly jumpers!<br /><br />I remember my Mum letting me just get on with outfits I picked out - one memorable permitted purchase at the beginning of one season was a wool jumper with gold/green/burgundy leaves on, and 2prs of cord jeans -in gold and in burgundy! I was in matchy heaven. <br /><br />My Mum and I have great shopping trips, we are different in colouring and style but it alsways works out. We sometimes but the same basics, even -standing at different ends of a rail, picking the same thing and saying 'this is nice'.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12542227084829463384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-90866716242246980372012-08-28T11:50:37.490-04:002012-08-28T11:50:37.490-04:00Oh, Joni, I'm so glad my mom apparently didn&#...Oh, Joni, I'm so glad my mom apparently didn't know about Goodwill. It was bad enough as it was!The Goodwill Fangirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845712888337339929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-85756808478712881542012-08-28T11:49:26.816-04:002012-08-28T11:49:26.816-04:00Wow, Ally, we have similar childhood clothing back...Wow, Ally, we have similar childhood clothing backgrounds. My mom dressed us in our cousins' seriously out-of-date hand-me-downs, as well as old ladies' separates from the local Sears budget store. My sister and I were wearing polyester pants with elastic waistbands when every other person at school wore only blue jeans. <br /><br />Of course, we were adequately clothed, but we were also odd-looking, which will make any child or teen feel incredibly self-conscious and well, ugly. I think this explains my clothing issues today, which I'm really struggling to rein in. Got the insight - now time to get over it.The Goodwill Fangirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845712888337339929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-4415426547325105742012-08-28T11:24:49.662-04:002012-08-28T11:24:49.662-04:00I think i started picking out my own clothes in my...I think i started picking out my own clothes in my teens.<br />My mom and i have different taste in clothes and sometimes she will only look at the price tag and not the fit. I always have these moments with her before walking out the door where i ask her "are you going out like THAT?". <br />AS she gets older she does not like to dress up that much, i tell her, "the way they see you, they treat you". Seems like I am the adult now :)<br />She will get upset and tell me she is just going around the corner, i just give her a look.<br />I guess as we get older our priorities change but looking presentable for yourself and then the rest, should not be negotiable. I am not saying heels and lipstick but, you know just simply well put together.<br />Oh and <br />I think you and your brother looked very cute :)Lorenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16720997862417551402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-57436980113372459952012-08-28T10:27:20.759-04:002012-08-28T10:27:20.759-04:00I don't remember when my mom handed over the d...I don't remember when my mom handed over the dressing-myself reins (or, more likely, gave up trying to convince me to wear something), but she usually lets my now-six-year-old sister pick her own items. Of course, if it looks ridiculous or is weather-inappropriate, she'll suggest something else.<br /><br />And that photo is adorable! At the time, it might not have been pleasant to wear, but it makes for a heck of a great shot now :)Emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01034234729214154096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-36981670677990493052012-08-28T09:47:46.596-04:002012-08-28T09:47:46.596-04:00I love that old photo!
My mom and I didn't ...I love that old photo! <br /><br />My mom and I didn't fight too much over clothes, I don't really remember real well when I started picking out my own things. I do remember one single thing she wouldn't let me have though that all my friends had. Jellies. Those ugly plastic-y neon shoes. I wanted a pair so badly, but I had issues with warm sweaty feet (yeah I know it's gross) and she wouldn't let me get jellies because she knew they'd stick to me and get yucky. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't end up wearing them - they're rather ugly!!Beth (Coffee Until Cocktails)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13966675621394412590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-55646517124855373482012-08-28T09:07:15.652-04:002012-08-28T09:07:15.652-04:00Love your penultimate paragraph. No matter how ol...Love your penultimate paragraph. No matter how old we get, the parent-child dynamic rarely changes.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-90312091573471250972012-08-28T09:06:18.504-04:002012-08-28T09:06:18.504-04:00Good question. Letting kids make their own choice...Good question. Letting kids make their own choices -- and mistakes -- is important for their growth.<br /><br />And thanks for the card, Ashley!Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-173844486080223742012-08-28T08:47:17.540-04:002012-08-28T08:47:17.540-04:00My mom played the accordion and was hella good. S...My mom played the accordion and was hella good. She went international with it, even, and, from my understanding, it used to be way cooler back then than it is today. Maybe she's just saying that to save face. Not sure.<br /><br />I think your suit and hat are ADORABLE and I would totally dress my little minions up like that if I had them. As for me, I know my mom let me pick my clothes out VERY early in life...and the pictures are around to prove it. I went through a phase in first grade where I tucked EVERYTHING in, most notably, oversized t-shirts into floral leggings. HAWT. It obviously looked awful and I looked like a freak of nature most of the time due to my poor clothing choices, but sometimes I wonder...if I had been repressed when it came to clothing, would I still dress the same today?Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16391786468701848881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-18795036759421207062012-08-28T08:41:29.152-04:002012-08-28T08:41:29.152-04:00I'm guessing you look back at old photos and r...I'm guessing you look back at old photos and remember how you felt (even at that early age). I know I do. I had enormous battles with my mother over clothes, starting very early. She was intensely concerned about what "other people" would think and didn't want me to embarrass her with my creative choices. <br /><br />I distinctly remember getting a new pair of blue jeans (back then it wasn't just jeans) when I was 8 years old. It was summer and all the kids were playing outside. I didn't want to change out of my new blue jeans but my mother told me I had to change into shorts to go play outside. Instead, I watched them out the window and picked at the tear in the screen, shredding it just a little further, until it was bedtime. Her insistence wasn't because they were new, it was because they were "too hot" and all the other kids were in shorts.<br /><br />You can just imagine what the adolescent battles were like. Even just recently, at 89, she stage whispered to my father, "How can she go out in public like that?" <br /><br />What can I say? I just tried to not continue that legacy with my kids. You do look cute in your little suit, but I'm guessing and hoping you're happier now. Jean at www.drossintogold.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089424590056521268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-44376459120985853412012-08-28T06:20:33.379-04:002012-08-28T06:20:33.379-04:00OMG, Ally, I'm so sorry to hear that! I bet it...OMG, Ally, I'm so sorry to hear that! I bet it was too hard when you were little! (Although now I think we could think something up with this clothes to showoff a little, don't we?)<br />Accordion is no fun so true!Lyosha Varezhkinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778662663180638470noreply@blogger.com