Wednesday, June 25, 2014
It takes a big man to apologize. And I'm 6'0", so I qualify.
I've made some missteps lately. To quell growing criticism, I've chosen to say I'm sorry. Honestly, I'm not really sorry, but sometimes you've got to bite the bullet. To keep the train from going off the tracks. And get the ball back in bounds. So, here goes...
- I apologize to Gracey for implying she isn't a giant and is actually a little person who's very skilled at Photoshop.
- I apologize to Sheila for saying Canada's bloggers dress like Artic (oops, Arctic) polar bears.
- I apologize to Sara for tweeting she's a hipster when, in fact, she's a dork.
- I apologize to Emma for spreading a rumor she climbs rock-walls to avoid being captured by the police when the truth is she just likes to climb rock-walls.
- I apologize to Daphne for imitating her outfits every chance I get.
- I apologize to Sarah for wanting so badly to be her girlfriend that I bombard her blog with comments.
- I apologize to Sharon for teasing her about living in New Jersey; those of us in New York can't help doing that.
- I apologize to Amber for admiring her hair so much I hired a guy to cut it off while she's sleeping.
- I apologize to Jessica for loving her vintage blog so much I get mushy when I talk about it.
- I apologize to Lisa for telling people that her cloche proves she's a time-traveler.
- I apologize to Jodi for constantly telling her how much I wish I was her.
- I apologize to Jen for bragging that her daughter Juni is the cutest girl in the world when she's really only in the top three.
- I apologize to Beth for raiding her fridge and drinking all the beer.
- I apologize to Meghan and Megan for calling the cops and accusing them of writing obscene stories.
- I apologize to Hollie for making her sound better than she really is when I talked about her clever boxing glove post.
- I apologize to Elle for applying makeup like a drunk sailor despite her daily efforts to help me improve.
- I apologize for Fuzzy for sending so much snail-mail.
- I apologize to Kathy for pestering her for a Margharita.
Do you forgive me??