tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post1158820133582564575..comments2024-03-27T21:17:11.920-04:00Comments on Shybiker: RejectionShybikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-39119720384086807632012-10-13T20:40:39.559-04:002012-10-13T20:40:39.559-04:00You are exactly right, Fuzz, in what I'm looki...You are exactly right, Fuzz, in what I'm looking for. But I wasn't clear about what I meant by rejection. I'm sorry you and some others are confused about that.<br /><br />Not commenting on my blog is not rejection. I don't expect comments and they don't necessarily mean anything. Besides, I don't need comments to feel good about someone.<br /><br />What I mean by rejection is something that happened with two bloggers. They live nearby and I thought we could become friends. For many months, I conversed with them, on their blogs and by e-mail, about local events and our similar experiences. Ultimately, these two women decided not to extend themselves in the slightest way. They were content to accept me putting myself out (because it flattered them) but they had no interest in doing anything for or toward me. This includes what we talked about. They enjoyed our discussion of their lives but they had no interest in mine. <br /><br />I feel bad we couldn't take the next step toward friendship. I'm not angry at them, just disappointed at the lost opportunity.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-84525607394047247792012-10-13T10:07:19.707-04:002012-10-13T10:07:19.707-04:00I don't know that I've ever felt rejected ...I don't know that I've ever felt rejected by other bloggers. But… I don't know that I generally approach commenting or reading blogs in the same way that I am surmising you do. It sounds like you are looking for community, to be a part of a larger group, to be one of the girls. Is that right?<br /><br />I often operate as an island, in the blogosphere and in my everyday life. That doesn't mean I don't have great friends or that I don't adore or appreciate people and other bloggers. Actually, it's quite the opposite. I'm just shy about being outwardly emotional.<br /><br />Is failure to comment on your blog viewed as a rejection?<br /><br />I read tons and tons of blog each day. I am absolutely guilty of not commenting enough, even though I have come away with something to think about, something I have enjoyed, laugh at, etc. <br /><br />As a blogger I know all too well that just giving the author a quick pat on the back would be better than saying nothing at all ~ but I am terrible at doing it. I feel stupid sometimes just saying things like 'i love your picture' as just a way of letting the blogger know I read their post and appreciated it. <br /><br />What's your take - Is commenting something superficial better than saying nothing? <br /><br />Commenting is something I absolutely need to work on. I would be sad to know that a blogger I read regularly felt like people didn't care about what they were putting out there.<br /><br />Fuzzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11926326491566256210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-19973252732048860212012-10-10T09:52:40.542-04:002012-10-10T09:52:40.542-04:00Oh noes! I totally understand how you feel though....Oh noes! I totally understand how you feel though. I get that a lot of the "bigger bloggers" get a TON of comments a day and don't have time to go through all of them and respond, but it does hurt when you feel a connection with a certain post or aspect of another person's blog and leave a heartfelt comment and never get a response. There are 2-3 bloggers in particular who I would love to talk to because I feel like half of the time I am reading about my own life on their blogs, but sadly, that is not the case. I am thankful for blogging friends like you who I can talk to and even be facebook friends with! I hope you don't let them get to you too much, the turds!Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12497037707134979575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-23418842987074052142012-10-09T22:45:27.450-04:002012-10-09T22:45:27.450-04:00Are you a Pisces? I am. And yes, I get a little ...Are you a Pisces? I am. And yes, I get a little hurt. Not too much because I am a grownup, or so I'd like to believe. Eventually if someone doesn't respond to my comments on their blog, I figure, oh well, it's not a match. It's happened a few times.<br /><br />Umm, so do you want to comment on my blog? I've been looking for you. I know time is limited and I'm not taking it personally. I figured maybe you didn't resonate with my style choices or maybe I've been a little too intense in some of my comments. I'd love it though if you'd occasionally come by and say hello. I think you're really smart and you like a lot of the people I like. I promise I won't bite.Jean at www.drossintogold.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089424590056521268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-76771277452047477962012-10-09T11:44:46.947-04:002012-10-09T11:44:46.947-04:00Ally, you want me to punch out anybody that's ...Ally, you want me to punch out anybody that's hurt your feelings? 'Cause I totes will ;P<br /><br />Seriously, I comment on lots of blogs by bloggers that seem to ignore me. For a while I felt a little rejected, even like I just don't have great enough style for some peeps, and then I thought, "The heck with it. I will comment if I feel so moved, because I want to, with no expectation of any return."<br /><br />I do read all my comments, respond to some, start private email convos for others, and try to follow as many blogs as I can while working full-time and chauffeuring The Teen. I really treasure the wonderful friendships I've made and someday hope we'll all have our own li'l bloggers' meetup IRL. So, the positives have far outweighed any perceived negatives to date.The Goodwill Fangirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845712888337339929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-76285339952782105182012-10-09T11:37:14.224-04:002012-10-09T11:37:14.224-04:00Terri, you are so utterly fantastic that any group...Terri, you are so utterly fantastic that any group should feel privileged to have you. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to include you.The Goodwill Fangirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845712888337339929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-69551230782249808792012-10-09T10:16:15.748-04:002012-10-09T10:16:15.748-04:00I feel the same as you. I totally take it personal...I feel the same as you. I totally take it personally. i don't get why ppl don't like me. I quit doing style posts because 1--tight budget 2--my job is very casual dress, so it's jeans everyday. i lost a lot of followers that way. i'm not a "personal" blogger, so i don't get much love from that niche either. i love cooking blogs (food porn lol) but since i don't cook. i don't get viewers there either. the beauty community are already experts and don't need my advice.<br />i feel like i don't fit in in blogland, and that i only get comments bc they are returning the favor. it doesn't diminish my love of blogging though. i *have* to blog--to get all this out, almost like it's cathartic. <br /><br />btw i saw a billboard and about had a wreck bc i was convinced it was your legs!!! ;) Elle Seeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01700861489513811406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-50683875364542474112012-10-09T10:15:59.343-04:002012-10-09T10:15:59.343-04:00It's an interesting idea, to be sure. I tried ...It's an interesting idea, to be sure. I tried for a while to cultivate a bloggy friendship with some of the uber-popular bloggers, but wasn't surprised when I never got a response. These ladies blog full-time and have thousands of followers. I got it.<br /><br />That being said, I myself tend to ignore anyone who leaves generic comments like, "Oh, your pictures are so pretty! Follow me back? [insert link]"Emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01034234729214154096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-82369203964192273852012-10-09T09:50:54.438-04:002012-10-09T09:50:54.438-04:00Thank you for talking about this aspect of bloggin...Thank you for talking about this aspect of blogging, Ally. Since I so recently shifted from long-time lurker to blogger / commenter, there are a lot of "too soon to tells." It takes time to build trust, and I know my new-ness is a factor, as are my associated ignorance-related-errors and just-learnings on both the technical and interactive etiquette fronts. I have such appreciation for people who've had the time and patience to be so helpful to me. <br /><br />I am thrilled beyond words that some of my favourite-favourite bloggers are becoming particular friends. It's totally okay that there are just as many if not more who are not, regardless of my wishes or invitations, or with whom a connection has already been fleeting. I know that my own non-blogging life is incredibly busy and often overwhelming, and that I simply offer what I have the capacity to offer - I understand that others do as well, and also respect that they may not be looking to build friend relationships. Their responses to me or lack thereof may be entirely personal or not at all, but in any case are entirely up to them. <br /><br />It pains me that I no longer have time to respond to every single comment (as I really enjoyed to do so), or the ability to leave an in-depth comment on every single post I love by the bloggers I've connected with, and that I have to choose where to direct my limited energies. Thank you for the wise reminder that we are all vulnerable to hurt and disappointment. Amber of Butane Anvilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17085975055424100573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-62432365287006722902012-10-09T05:25:23.639-04:002012-10-09T05:25:23.639-04:00I'm not going to rewrite what everyone has alr...I'm not going to rewrite what everyone has already said ... so I'm going to echo on <br />Sheila's comment, Debbies comment and Delphinaluxe.<br /><br />I've been blogging since 2001 ... boy have a seen some things, but I must say as Delphinaluxe said ... there is a lot of elitist behaviour in the blogging community and I'm not only referring to Style/Fashion bloggers!<br /><br />Hugs to you my sweet friend ... don't let it get to you too much. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10435812178629895806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-13310050040290052562012-10-08T20:35:55.421-04:002012-10-08T20:35:55.421-04:00I haven't experienced this yet, but I can see ...I haven't experienced this yet, but I can see how it can happen so easily. My cautious behavior keeps me lurking but I so often see situations where a commenter is trying so very hard to be interactive but the blogger goes on to only respond to commenters who have a large following. It's elitist behavior and quite sickening. I have many unkind things I would love to say to these people, but in the end the frustration is nothing but wasted energy. I suppose I'd say allowing yourself to feel rejected is much the same.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-13917587031056279312012-10-08T20:21:50.536-04:002012-10-08T20:21:50.536-04:00I've been blogging a long time now (going on 5...I've been blogging a long time now (going on 5 years) and I've seen so many people come and go. Bloggers burn out; readers stop commenting; people stop following you. And you don't know why, and the tendency is to blame oneself: I must have done something. <br /><br />But life is so busy! People change...they move...they get different jobs. One woman I used to know - I think she died of cancer. <br /><br />Which is all to say that you shouldn't take it personally. Some people are better in this environment, better at being genuinely interested in other people, in getting to know them. And as has been said, it takes a long time to read and comment on blogs, AND to blog. I know I feel guilty when I've had a busy week and all I can do it post my own outfits. I miss not reading my friends' blogs, and I know I've missed finding commenters' links and going to their blogs to thank them for posting. <br /><br />I don't remember when I found you, but it was early, and you were so sweet and thoughtful. Although I don't always comment, I do always read and visit you when I can. Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07735339885677950350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-24602891189031060392012-10-08T19:58:29.335-04:002012-10-08T19:58:29.335-04:00Thanks, Debbi, for a helpful response.Thanks, Debbi, for a helpful response.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-88348249839836470072012-10-08T19:54:23.487-04:002012-10-08T19:54:23.487-04:00Thank you, Sweetie.Thank you, Sweetie.Shybikerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263331247319768989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-63815583349500719712012-10-08T19:32:02.650-04:002012-10-08T19:32:02.650-04:00I don't always respond to comments as some of ...I don't always respond to comments as some of them do not seem to require a response. Some that I would like to respond to do not have a valid email attached to their comment. It takes a lot of time to read and comment on blogs, so maybe the person is not really ignoring you, but instead is overwhelmed. (I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.) I try to comment on as many blogs as I can and I really don't expect a response unless I ask a specific question. <br /><br />I do know what you mean about being rebuffed and it does hurt. It makes me wonder why they seem to respond to some but not others. Am I not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough? I recently contacted one person to tell them I wanted to send them something I thought they would like. I did not even get a response. I mean really? I was going to give them something and they could not take the time to respond? <br /><br />I would hope though that if someone thinks I am not treating them right, they would contact me and ask me why. I would never intentionally ignore someone, but I am sure I have before because of my danged email program which puts junk in my regular mail and regular mail in my junk. <br /><br />I remember when I first became aware of you and I too was a bit unsure of your intentions. As soon as I saw Megan Mae had commented on your blog, I knew you had to be a good person. I have really enjoyed getting to know you and also enjoyed your thoughtful posts. Debbi@SheAccessorizesWellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02888489368256761571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-73146321222948357912012-10-08T19:28:37.797-04:002012-10-08T19:28:37.797-04:00I'm honestly a bit too sensitive to rejection ...I'm honestly a bit too sensitive to rejection once. Someone left a mean comment once about one of my outfits back in my early days of blogging, and I felt upset and depressed for days. It was a total stranger who wasn't worth my time, but it still affected me. <br /><br />As far as someone ignoring you, sometimes people just mean well but get too busy. I know I've received e-mails before that I intended to reply to, but then they just got buried in my inbox.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17245149881656326385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-74012531097953220512012-10-08T18:58:04.572-04:002012-10-08T18:58:04.572-04:00Her loss. I've been ignored by tons of blogger...Her loss. I've been ignored by tons of bloggers. I wrote someone a very sweet email. She lives near me and i thought we could get together and fashion geek out. She never ever responded. It totally hurt my feelings. As a result, I do my best to respond to every email. <br /><br />xoxo,<br />TracyThe Closet Shopperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05593934345353944203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-45405399751241533162012-10-08T15:56:42.899-04:002012-10-08T15:56:42.899-04:00I am so sorry you had such experiences. Rejection ...I am so sorry you had such experiences. Rejection is never easy digitial or in person. <br />Just like to everything else in my life I a bit less sensitive. After 5 or so of personal comments I post on certain blogs if I never get a response I simply move on. I might still visit them from time to time cause I like their style but I won't waste my time posting a comment. And I am always touched when some very very popular blog owners visit and comment on my blog and say something interesting which shows they also read what I wrote. <br />Some people are quick to judge too. As you are a unique blogger that happens more often with you I am sure. I despise people that put labels and pass on judgements without getting to know the individual. In all honesty shows lack of class and education and culture in my opinion. You deserve better. Disregard them and their ignorance!Fashion Confessions of a Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16610135535698412651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-833365850236907252012-10-08T15:49:23.507-04:002012-10-08T15:49:23.507-04:00^ ^ ^ Great comment from Megan Mae. Saying everyth...^ ^ ^ Great comment from Megan Mae. Saying everything I want to, partic the third para. Ally, it's ok to pout (hell, I do it enough too), but I would try not to take it to heart too much. It happens to me IRL too (e.g. I really like my colleague, why can't get them to come for a coffee etc etc). All my friendships are important to me, regardless of whether they are virtual or IRL. Sending you a blog-hug.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12542227084829463384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-11807661536697853942012-10-08T15:36:50.670-04:002012-10-08T15:36:50.670-04:00I try very hard to maintain my blog friends. I wan...I try very hard to maintain my blog friends. I want to meet and comment on as many blogs as I possibly can. There's definitely some bloggers out there I'd love to know on a more friendly basis, but I've let my friendships develop naturally. I am exceedingly grateful at the lack of negativity on my blog. I'm thankful for the positivity that people bring to it.<br /><br />I feel bad thinking any one may feel rejected by me. I try very hard to at least read every blog I can. I can't always comment, but I try to leave something. I admit I am more likely to befriend those who want to swap, email, or leave a little more of themselves in comments. I find IRL friends very hard to keep.<br /><br />I also have particular things I want to achieve out of my blog. I'll freely admit, if someone is a self-proclaimed "Mommy blogger" I'm going to feel less like I can connect with them. I don't have kids, I am not intending to. I respect people's rights to be parents, but it's hard for me to relate to that or fashion-blogs turned pregnancy blogs. <br /><br />I want to preface that with it has happened to many, many blogs I follow. If I already have a basis of friendship with that person, great! I keep following. If I didn't have a friendship, I'll probably unfollow.<br /><br />Cliques absolutely exist in the blog world like the real world. Sometimes you happen to be a person who gets on with somebody in both places. I have known many people in the real world who I would have loved to be friends with but they have SO MANY friends, their time priority was never going to come over to me or another developing friendship if it wasn't realistically worth more to them. <br /><br />Anyway to sum up, I do always try to make an effort with someone who wants to get to know me. I hope everyone can remember to turn on their email-response, make profiles public, or leave a link in their comment if they want people to contact them. I frequently get comments that I cannot find a link back to the person or cannot find an email to respond to.Megan Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10169811757787686946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-54296222244922560362012-10-08T15:28:40.340-04:002012-10-08T15:28:40.340-04:00I echo Megan's thoughts. You tend to learn and...I echo Megan's thoughts. You tend to learn and move on. You can't force someone to be or stay your friend!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.tanvii.com/" rel="nofollow">∞ © tanvii.com ∞</a> <br />Tanvihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05491567577469019680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-76328747646295713422012-10-08T14:19:40.015-04:002012-10-08T14:19:40.015-04:00Yes, I've been ignored by bloggers. Sometimes ...Yes, I've been ignored by bloggers. Sometimes it upsets me: such as in situations where I know that the said blogger and I have started our blogs around the same time, and they some how got a little luckier than I did. I just want to be friends, not steal your 30,000+ followers! Or when they were bloggy friends at one point, and then got big, and now ignore me...<br /><br />At other times, I don't let it bother me. Some bloggers are just too big for their own good, you know? They can't sit down an respond to all of their 200+ comments... I have reached out the bloggers I truely admire through e-mail, and never gotten a response. That stings a little. But, what can I do?<br /><br />I see the little cliques, and I've noticed that it's usually only happening with the "pro" bloggers..Amber Lucas A Mused Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13552215994993062068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-69696209102737677032012-10-08T13:42:37.963-04:002012-10-08T13:42:37.963-04:00Ah, I know rejection all too well. My first emotio...Ah, I know rejection all too well. My first emotion is hurt, then anger and then finally I realize it's better off because there's a reason it happened and I'm better off and destined for bigger and better things.Megan, TfDiaries.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063699601858651282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-7135961406010556052012-10-08T11:55:10.712-04:002012-10-08T11:55:10.712-04:00Been there.
Yes, there are about 2 or 3 bloggers ...Been there. <br />Yes, there are about 2 or 3 bloggers that I have made an effort with and just hit the wall.<br />I guess like in high school and like Freeda says, in blogland there is also a group of popular kids... <br />In my case, I still hang around- to be honest I am not that good dealing with rejection.<br />I am the one who keeps on trying!Lorenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16720997862417551402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4885867892898159023.post-45866438021461127442012-10-08T11:24:37.606-04:002012-10-08T11:24:37.606-04:00I can relate to this too. I think it takes time s...I can relate to this too. I think it takes time sometimes...to see what develops, just like real-life friendship. <br />I am sometimes hesitant to reach out myself. In blogland, I try to be extra careful because there are some bloggers that aren't what I call "real-life bloggers". They're just a front for a business promotion. I also don't respond to blog friend request from anyone under the age of 18, because I'm uneasy about it. I'm not really into building blog friendships just to build my numbers....I want to enjoy the blog too.<br />I have followed some blogs for a long time and been rejected, and it doesn't feel good, but I don't let it bother me too much. My blog is not slick and polished and I don't wear model fab outfits. I'm real and I just figure that those looking for something slick won't like me. <br />I'm not a fan of those slick productions. I have a small following and I'd like to have more, but I enjoy the blog friends I have; they're loyal and beautiful and real. <br />Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00137528629664671846noreply@blogger.com