Saturday, March 19, 2011

Update

Hi guys.  Just want to chat.  Grab a cup of tea and come join me...

It's always nice to have something to look at in a post.  I just saw this adorable picture of one of my best blogger-friends, Sara, and thought I'd share it with you.  Sara is so cute that, if aliens come, she'll be the first to get abducted.  Sorry, Sara, but that's the price of beauty...

I never talk about my job on this blog but I need to say how hard its demands have been this month.  For some reason, my work-calendar was crammed with heavy lifting.  I just finished most of  it and it all went fabulous well (I made a fortune), but the personal cost was real. 

I stress about work-matters every day, all day, wake up horribly early (half out of anxiety and half to get things done) and find it hard to carve out time to blog and read blogs.  There are numerous ideas I want to post; I especially want to do more outfit-posts; I've been struggling lately to find the time for that.  Please bear with me during this busy period which should be ending soon. 

I've laid some foundation for the video I want to create but it's a bigger job than I expected.  I want the vlog to be worthy of your attention and, to achieve that, several elements need to be coordinated.  I'm reviewing my music-library now for an appropriate soundtrack.  (I don't do anything half-assed.)

Recently, I mentioned the delicate issue of my informing real-world friends about my transgendered nature.  Something happened in that direction this week.  At my Oscar-party, the subject of Twitter came up and, feeling comfortable among friends, I revealed I have a Twitter-account.  

Debbie, a friend I've known for 12 years, went home, searched for and found my account, and travelled here to my blog where she learned things about me she never knew.  She e-mailed me and said she needed to talk. 

We met in person.  Debbie said she loved me and is grateful for our warm friendship.  I told her I love her and am equally grateful.  Debbie said she was overwhelmed by a recent e-mail I sent her in which I wrote that I have a "high opinion" of her.  I told her it is true and that she deserves to feel praised by others.  Then she cried.  Debbie had a hard childhood and has always had troubles with self-esteem: I know this and support her every chance I get.  I look for opportunities to bolster her self-confidence.

Later, Debbie said that the issue of my transgenderism is unimportant to her and that whatever I need to do to live authentically is okay with her.  She said we could go shopping for clothes some day.  I thanked her for that acceptance.

With many people, it's hard to predict how they will react to news that shakes what they believe about you.  People make assumptions and, until you correct inaccuracies in those assumptions, they go on believing them.  My giving this information to people who have beliefs about who I am creates unpredictable situations.  Fortunately, with Debbie, it went the right way.  (Whew!) 

What's new with you?

19 comments:

  1. Big sigh of relief for you ... and I'm not surprised that things are not done 'half assed' - somehow I'd be shocked if it were. I'm glad things went well with Debbie ... if someone loves you, they often accept most things. Isn't life scary and stressful at times!

    You get done what you need to and we'll still be here thinking of you and visiting and sending you good vibes :-)

    Hope your weekend is awesome ... it's wet and grey in my corner of the world, but alls good.

    Big hugs

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  2. Hi Wendy! Thanks for the wisdom. Geoff is okay: he's started his treatment and has a surprisingly postive outlook. I don't know if I would be as brave as him facing death. I guess we never know how we'll react to that until we reach that point.

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  3. I am so happy for you :) it's always nice to have one more person that understands something about you or something going on in your life.

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  4. I love how much effort you put into your blog, and I cannot wait to see your vlog! I agree with you. To me, there isn't a point to do things "half-assed." If you're not going to give your all, you might as well not even try. I also relate to your stresses related to work. Similar things have kept me from keeping up with blogging and the blogs I love. Luckily, things always lighten up, and there is hopefully that in sight!

    Your last paragraph gives really good advice, and I feel it's something I personally need to work more on. I always get upset when people assume things about me, yet I do not often take the time to correct those assumptions. As long as you can do it in a way that is respectful and constructive, why not?

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  5. I'm very happy for what happened with your friend! It's always nice to bond and be able to really understand a person! I know you put your whole heart in everything you do (I guess it applies to your job as well...) and I respect you for that. Stress is a big issue in our lives - unfortunately I don't cope with it well enough to be able to give you an advice! Just smile and stay calm!
    p.s. -I'm glad Geoff is doing ok..
    p.s.2- Sorry I didn't have time (or the right mood..) to reply to your kind email. I'll get to that!
    Many kisses dear friend!

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  6. I have also had trouble finding the time to post and keep up with the blogs I read. Sometimes life is just too busy. You are lucky to have a good friend like Debbie.

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  7. Wow, that's great. I'm glad for you and your friend! Don't stress out about work too much...

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  8. Shy, sounds like work is SUPER stressful lately! My husband and I are both trying to do better when it comes to handling stress. Easier said than done, but in the grand scheme of things, I try to remind myself that if anything happened with my job, then that's just what was meant to be.

    So glad that all went well with your friend. I think we all have things that we've not shared with even seemingly close friends. Those who love you....love you! Obviously Debbie does and it shows that you love her too! Big Hugs! ~Serene

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  9. I'm glad that the conversation with your friend went so well...and when life calms down, the two of you should shop together.

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  10. Sheesh, what a week! I'm glad you've made it through. I am also very glad things went well with Debbie. You deserve to be surrounded by lots of great people!

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  11. That's absolutely beautiful. So happy to hear that. This made me smile, bigtime.

    http://artfashiontwentysomething.blogspot.com
    Come enter my spring giveaway!

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  12. I had been wondering where you were.
    Also I had been meaning to ask about your friend and how he was doing.
    I was very happy to read this post (at least the bottom part). I can imagine how very stressed and uncertain you may have felt when Debbie asked for to speak to you.
    I think you are honored to have a friend like her and vice versa. I am so very happy things worked well.

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  13. I'm so happy for you! Debbie really sounds like a good friend and there really is nothing better than having good friends that love you for the way you are.

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  14. That's great news that you were able to open up to your friends about Twitter and have that conversation with Debbie. I so pleased for you that it all went well.

    Hope work calms down for you. I have just been through that myself and it wasn't much fun.

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  15. What a blessing to have friends who can accept your authentic self. Love you!

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  16. Fantastic story about you and Debbie. Heart warming. You deserve that kind of love and acceptance. Xoxo tracy

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  17. Ohhhh...the part about Debbie absolutely gave me CHILLS!! Yay! Oh boy, was that good news for me to read or WHAT?! Need I tell you how happy it makes me for you?! I'm pretty sure you have a good idea. :) You just keep getting stronger and braver every single day. What an enormous step.

    I'm sorry things have been so stressful at work for you. I hope this trying (pun intended) period will be done soon and that you can find some time to just go relax and be you. I imagine with a career like yours, it comes with a huge and often overwhelming sense of responsibility. Just don't let it be at your expense. Easier said than done, I know!

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  18. Wow, I just want to give you a big hug. Such a stressful week (I'm a Libra, I know). I'm so glad for you that Debbie is such a good friend. And now you have a shopping buddy!

    With me, life is in flux. My work, my husband's work, our physical environment (condo issues)...it's all so much sometimes.

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